To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

I’ve had several injuries over the years that afterwards I’ve said to myself “wtf did you do that??”

But the most memorable/stupid = electrocuting myself on the Christmas tree lights.

I spent ages putting them on the tree, switched them on and a section wasn’t working. In an attempt to find the one with the broken filament I was feeling my way along the wire to each bulb to inspect it. But the offending bulb was actually smashed and I’d left them plugged in. Yep. I grabbed a live exposed filament.

I got a corneal abrasion from the hook of my bra once, I was trying to pull it out of an over stuffed drawer and it pinged right into my eye.

Oh God. I was trying out a boys bike with a crossbar and my feet slipped off the pedals. I thought I was going to die it was so painful. Could have ruined me for life! 😂

I fell asleep stirring a cup of tea and burnt my hand as it sunk into the mug

Thought I’d broken my nose when I went downstairs in the early hours to make a bottle when our youngest was tiny.
Very familiar with the house, I didn’t bother turning the lights on. Was so tired, I miscalculated the distance from the kitchen to the staircase, turned to go up the stairs too soon and smacked straight into the glass panel.
Around the same time, misjudged the height of the bath, didn’t lift my leg high enough, tripped over the side and fell full flat on my face on the tiled floor. Ouch.

Mum beat me though: couldn’t find a pencil sharpener so used a kitchen knife on her eyeliner. Proceeded to stab herself right in the eye with the sharp wooden tip. Instantly swelled up into an enormous blood blister and she had to be treated at Moorfields (all good now).

Oh dear, so many.

As a child, whilst having a bath, I decided to play tightrope walking by balancing along the side of the bath. Of course my feet were wet so I slipped and fell with all my weight on my side and completely winded myself. My parents heard the thud and came running up to see what had happened. When I could speak again I just said I slipped getting out so I got loads of sympathy.

As a student I was trying to toss a pancake and got hit in the face with pancake shrapnel which blistered my eyelid.

A few years ago out walking with DH and DD, scrambling up a steep bank. I slipped and whacked my boob on something hard and sharp; ended up with a badly bruised and scratched boob. DH was horrified.

A couple of these have reminded me of similar mishaps of my own. Fairly recently I was reading my tablet in bed and dropped it on my face when I fell asleep, giving myself quite a nasty bruise under one eye.
Another was a glass door incident. I was with one of my kids at a sports centre and went inside to go to the toilet. I don't know if the door was wedged open when I went in or someone held it for me, but it definitely wasn't there and I walked straight through. On my way out I realised I was about to miss DC's race so I ran towards what I still expected to be an open door. Except it wasn't. I ran straight into the glass and fell flat on my back but the worst damage was to my pride as large group of other parents saw me do it.
I have of course seen the end result of lots of other people's mishaps in a professional capacity. I usually manage to hide my feelings reasonably successfully but I did struggle not to laugh at the guy who had a piece of bread impaled to the palm of his hand with a fondue fork.

DH broke his toe on our eldest highchair when she was still in it.

Also trapped a nipple between the arms on my computer chair and the desk.

I also rolled over in bed, didn't realise how close to edge I was and smacked my face off the bedside cabinet. Burst above my eye open and knocked my contact lense out I hit it that hard. That was literally 3 weeks before breaking my ankle.

Broke my foot in Bethnal Green drunkenly trying to put my air pods in while riding a bike no handed, (in my 20's!). Hit the concrete hard, then continued cycling home as it was cold.

Nigh on took my fingertip off cutting a side of salmon into portions (the skin is surprisingly tough). I was still finding dried blood in the drawers in my kitchen two weeks later. I still have the scar but luckily the sensation returned after a while.
Sliced the palm of my hand under my little finger packaging up metal fronts for displays my
then H was selling as part of his new business. I had to lay on the floor and raise my hand in the air to stem the bleeding. I had five stitches (and needed to breathe like I was in labour for the anaesthetic). The scar still splits open to this day because it was badly stitched - over 24 years later.
The most painful thought was when I slumped in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I apparently dislocated a rib and couldn’t move. One of my DCs had to help me lay down until the pain subsided enough that I could move.

Thank you ☺️

Dont worry I can see still. I had blurred double vision for a few weeks once healed but weirdly your brain corrects for it all. So I can still see very well and have to close the eyes one by one to even remember which one is bad.

I can confirm though it is more painful than a caesarean section. You have no idea how many times a second you move eyeballs until one is severed in half 😭

I had a sat nav holder with a large suckered to attach it to the window. I decided to attach it to my forehead for a laugh then ended up with a large circular protruding bruise. 🔥

I did similar.

My arthritis was playing up so I went to get a hot water bottle.

I picked up the kettle of boiling water and my back went in to spasm and so the arm with the kettle shot up and spilled, and then there was another spasm and it happened again.

I got in to the shower fully clothed and got undressed there, I had magnificent blisters oddly they appeared in the shape of a map of the world.

@Menopausalmum43 if you do that again then the way to get it off is to use a needle to piece the sucker and let some air in.

Fell over the Henry Hoover wire whilst hoovering stairs. Only fell down two stairs,two, but ended up in a cast for six weeks. Pulled back getting out of my car. Absolutely ridiculous but twenty years later back still liable to go.

Can add to this list again last night I asked my daughter to bring down her control of her bed, by some fluke she chucked on to her trampoline, I was sat across the room tidying and it bounced straight off the trampoline and smacked me in the cheek 😂

Stabbed myself with a pair of nail scissors in the middle of my forehead. Was holding them in my right hand and then put that hand against the wall to steady myself as I leaned down behind a cupboard....scissors were sticking out as i bent down :(

Emptying cage of one of my small animals. The hook from the bar that fastened it shut sprung up and hooked my nose as I was bending down.

My sister is a cold creature, she uses a hot water bottle to keep her warm at her desk in work. She put it on her chair to do something, forgot it was there & sat on it. It burst and she had a nasty burn on her bum cheek.

As a 9 year old, I hit a kerb and went over the handle bars of my bike, face first into a brick wall and knocked 6 of my front teeth out.

2 really stupid ones when I was in my mid twenties (drunk both time). Tried opening a tin of cat food and sliced the top of a finger off.

The other one was burning my oesophagus! Didn’t even realise there was a problem the night I did it (drunk and very hungry). Got a Chinese takeaway and ate it pretty much straight away, far too quickly. Got up the next morning with a pain at the very top of my chest. Got progressively worse over the next 48 hours until I was crying in pain when I swallowed my own saliva. Got rushed to hospital from work in an ambulance and was in for 2 weeks. They put me on a drip and I lived off gaviscon for about 3 weeks.

Decided to grow up and not behave like such a dickhead after that.

As a child, having finished reading Heidi I wanted to try toasting cheese on a fork. Did so over the gas hob then put the cheese in my mouth and burnt a perfect fork shape into my tongue. I basically branded myself. Took months to disappear.

I wanted ringlets after Reading " What katie did"
My mum did actually oblige and after an uncomfortable night ,with my hair all tied uo in bits of material i woke up with perfect ringlets
Only to go swimming a few hours later and ruin them

I was running away from an 11 year old who was trying to throw powder paint at me (it was his last day at primary school and we'd just had a colour run where I'd thrown powder paint at him, so I could see his point) while wearing espadrilles (me, not him) and I slipped, fell and broke a bone in my foot. I had to wear a boot for 6 weeks, which came off the last day of the summer holidays, so I came back with a lovely tan except for one entirely white lower leg.

The Head found the whole thing so hilarious that she had it written into the next year's colour run risk assessment that no staff were allowed to take part while wearing espadrilles.

I am quite skilled in random injury. I have broken a rib coughing & broken a rib vomiting. I punched myself in the mouth pulling the covers up in bed. Most spectacularly I nearly took the end off my nipple shaving under my arms.

Was curling my hair while wearing a dressing gown which was open at the front. Dropped the hot tongs on my bare boob. Actually had quite a nasty burn which needed to be dressed for a couple of weeks. I still have a faint scar today. What an idiot! 😁

One time, I attempted to get a ceramic bowl off the top shelf of a cupboard by teasing it toward the edge with a wooden spoon. I am aware how idiotic this was. Not surprisingly the bowl hit the counter, shattered and one of the tiny shards hit my eye. I ended up at A&E with a nasty scratched cornea.