To think he should have checked how I am?

[PoloGirl]

Yesterday I was involved in an incident with the police. Basically I was in a car that my friend was driving extremely dangerously and I called the police to stop him. He was stopped and arrested for drink driving (I didn't know he was drunk). I'm quite shaken up and obviously the friendship is over. DP is furious because it was our car my friend was driving, but not once has he asked if I'm OK. I've also had to do a witness statement for the police which wasn't nice because it's against my (ex) friend and emotionally I feel quite upset. DP is barely talking to me.

AIBU to have expected him to ask how I am or at least shown some sort of care about me?

Genuinely don't know if AIBU.

(and oh changed username for this one.)

Why was your friend driving the car? Is that why your partner is mad? I'd be wondering why someone else was driving our car and I'd also be mad that my partner hadn't spotted that they were so drunk that they were going to swerve all over the place.

How did it transpire that your friend ended up driving? Is DP annoyed at you for allowing that?

He probably can’t see past why you allowed your friend to drive your car?

He’s probably furious at the situation?

We were taking the dog to the beach. He wasn't swerving around, he was driving extremely fast and just laughed when I asked him to slow down. When I say extremely fast I'm talking 70mph in a 30mph limit. It was extremely scary. The police witnessed his driving before they pulled him over.

I get that he's cross about it all, so maybe I am being unreasonable.

I let him drive because I had no idea he had been drinking. I wasn't with him prior to the beach trip.

You'd have told him if you weren't okay, presumably. He's right to be pissed off, so he's not going to bother being polite for the sake of it.

It's pretty odd to take your car and then swap and let a friend drive. I'd be pissed off too, and wondering what the hell was going on to be honest.

That doesn't really explain why he was driving though. Was he insured to drive your car?

But why let the ex friend drive, at all? That's not normal, surely? Are you unable to drive at the moment?

I think in your partner's position I'd be pissed off at you for making a reckless decision and not noticing ex friend is a liability. Presumably ex friend has been reckless before?

Something does not add up with your story tbh. Am not surprised he's not talking.

Is he insured to drive your car?

I wouldn't be talking to you either.

I’m undergoing eye tests atm because I have some worrying symptoms, hence not driving.

Notsuchafattynow - what on earth doesn’t add up??

Has ex friend a history of reckless, silly or dangerous behaviour?

You let someone drive your car who is presumably not insured to do so. I wouldn't have been chatty, either. You're lucky he didn't smash it.

Until I could process what had happened, how and why, I probably wouldn’t be able to ask how you are. It’s kind of thing you’d ask when you understand what has happened. What you described is too confusing for that. my brain would be overwhelmed with questions.

So he's insured to drive your car?

He has fully comp so entitled to drive other cars with owner’s permission. That’s what he told me anyway.

You're story doesn't make sense to me.
YANBU your DP should have asked how you are. It must have been scary.
However, I suspect the story is more than you've told. I've never known anyone to drive someone else's car just for a day out, if they're with them.

Not that I’m aware of, no.

Oh dear... is his name Jay Cartwright?...😆

You said you called the police, but then you said the police saw you.

👀

This all sounds quite strange. Why would you go out and let your friend drive your own car in the first place.
Are you a teenager? It all sounds like irresponsible behaviour that you are not taking responsibility for - very immature.Your partner has every right to be furious.