Page 4 | To have two days a week to myself?

twofulldays · 2025-05-25T19:08:09+00:00

It’s been an intense few years and I’ve definitely taken on the lions share of parenting. DS starts school in September, and am planning to stay 0.6, so three days a week. This obviously means I’ll have two days a week to myself if you like. But it also means on those days he won’t have to do breakfast / after school club. The number of comments I’ve had about this has surprised me. AIBU to work part time with primary school aged children? I will have them all school holidays and I guess I feel I’ve earned a little time to myself in term time!

scotstars · 25/05/2025 23:12

Same situation here except I'm a single parent. Those 2 days allow me to get housework, admin, DIY, shopping etc done so we can enjoy weekends and same as you it means my child isn't in breakfast club, afterschool every day. Long as you can afford it ignore anyone commenting they are prob jealous!

johnd2 · 25/05/2025 23:20

Well think of those 2 days as a very poor version of the weekend you never get any more!
Full time workers without dependents get 60+ hours of time off from Friday at 6pm until Monday at 8am, and you are getting nearly "12 whole hours" spread across two days.
Ideally you could have 5 days off to get your 60 hours! Technically you're over working!

MolkosTeenageAngst · 25/05/2025 23:26

Seems fine so long as DH is on board, I assume you will do household chores on those days and will be willing to do the lions share on weekends so DH can also have time to himself on his 2 days off.

Tiswa · 25/05/2025 23:47

I stayed 3 days (until Redundancy) and DH much preferred it as I did more housework and mental load to balance.

then did 5 days term time in office - this did not work before freelancing full time which got the most part does

Biffsboys · 25/05/2025 23:50

If it works for your family it’s fine . I went to 0.7 when my ds started school . He’s now 18 and I still do 0.7 .

HollyIvie · 25/05/2025 23:57

It's not really two whole days to yourself - schools only 6 hours a day. School runs, house/kid admin and chores will eat into that time! I think 3 days is a great balance when the kids are little. Means you can also attend the inevitable school activities they put on when the kids first start - phonics learning, reading sessions etc

Tbrh · 25/05/2025 23:57

People are jealous. Why would you want your DC to do before and after school club if it's not necessarily. It will also mean you can get things done during the week to free up the weekend, and hopefully attend some school activities too. It's a brilliant idea

TinyTempest · 26/05/2025 00:02

Sounds great.

But I don't know why you're asking Mumsnet.

The only two people who matter in the decision are you and your DH.

ZoggyStirdust · 26/05/2025 00:06

twofulldays · 25/05/2025 20:26

Thanks. I do want to minimise wraparound (DH wfh Fridays so as long as my days off aren’t on a Friday - they aren’t - then it’s only two days in wraparound.)

Otherwise I’d literally have NO downtime which gets relentless!

How many days downtime does your husband have?

Mummymamabear · 26/05/2025 00:09

Absolutely.
I am a stay at home mum, I love it.
People ask me all the time what I will do when my youngest is in school… exactly what I’m doing now but with more time for myself and my home.
People will always judge! No matter what

EggnogNoggin · 26/05/2025 00:11

twofulldays · 25/05/2025 21:34

Will read the rest of the replies in a moment.

So - no, in a word. If DH dropped down to three days a week we’d have to sell the house and adjust our living standards accordingly. So I guess this is what I’m wondering. Should I be tired and stressed and the children in wraparound five days a week, morning and evening, just so it’s ‘fair’?

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Has your husband expressed any interest in doing so?

Has he shown any interest in booking leave or paying for and organising childcare every half term?

Reality is, most men expect to work full time and most male bosses expect it from their male staff in the same way that the expect women to be covering sick days. I'm not saying they aren't willing to get with the times, but most need a woman to lead the conversation because most men just don't think about it.

darkpurple · 26/05/2025 00:17

I work one day a week and it's perfect. I tend to keep quiet about it though as people will make catty comments, and/or make assumptions that you're available to help them out!
Remember it won't really be 2 days to yourself all year around (assuming you will be looking after dcs on those days in school holidays). Two days will fill up quickly though with chores, errands and school activities, especially if you get roped into doing favours for others. But it's nice to have weekends free of all that, especially in the primary years.

Penthrowingsurvivor · 26/05/2025 00:22

twofulldays · 25/05/2025 21:34

Will read the rest of the replies in a moment.

So - no, in a word. If DH dropped down to three days a week we’d have to sell the house and adjust our living standards accordingly. So I guess this is what I’m wondering. Should I be tired and stressed and the children in wraparound five days a week, morning and evening, just so it’s ‘fair’?

Show quote history

Parents I know with similar set up use that time to do chores and admin and all the crap, with a hairdresser and/or gym appointment slot into.

It means they free the other non-working days to do fun things with the kids.
They also use their free day for all the school-related stuff, and there are a lot.

Not sure why would anyone have a comment on that.

WeHaveTheRabbit · 26/05/2025 00:22

As I wrote above, I think you should do what is best for your family. However, I do think it is a shame in general that far too many women give up their careers when they have children, while men can pursue their careers and have children and no one thinks twice about it. If workplaces were more family friendly and quality childcare were more readily available, it would be better for everyone involved IMO.

PeloMom · 26/05/2025 04:40

Do it! You’ll see it’s actually not a whole lot of time as you’d likely be getting things done that are long overdue and running a bunch of errands/ doing chores so it’s not like you have your feet up for 10-12 hrs a week.

ZenNudist · 26/05/2025 04:48

Trallia · 25/05/2025 20:11

Seems fine if you can afford it.

I expect to have to reduce my hours when my daughter starts school - nursery does 7.30am til 6pm - school won't!

Just ignore people. They're jealous that you're making this choice.

Once you've factored in drop offs and pick ups, it's literally just 12h to catch up on cleaning and life admin, as well as maybe squeeze in some exercise and hobby time if you're lucky. It's hardly an indulgence!

Please stop with "life admin" as something that you need time off to deal with.

I work 4 days with one day to myself and one in secondary. It makes a difference to holidays to have that day with dc but it's usually just good to have one day a week to shop when it's not the weekend and exercise. It's also one day a week I can do playdates.

Tbrh · 26/05/2025 04:56

WeHaveTheRabbit · 26/05/2025 00:22

As I wrote above, I think you should do what is best for your family. However, I do think it is a shame in general that far too many women give up their careers when they have children, while men can pursue their careers and have children and no one thinks twice about it. If workplaces were more family friendly and quality childcare were more readily available, it would be better for everyone involved IMO.

OP isn't giving up her career, she's working part-time, seems ideal to me. Not everyone wants to work full time, especially to the detriment of their children

OutandAboutMum1821 · 26/05/2025 05:03

YANBU OP. Enjoy your free time!

My friend (who has 2 older children than me) teaches 2 days a week and has 3 days at home whilst her children are at school. She’s had some silly comments from
colleagues about what she spends that time doing. She has plenty to do- washing, ironing, cleaning her large home, unpacking the food shop, driving round on errands buying birthday presents/picking up anything her family need, doing admin for her girls, etc. She also likes to run and actually watch some adult TV, and why on earth shouldn’t she, given that she can’t watch anything in the evening now they go to bed so much later.

You are free to spend your time off as you please, it’s up to you and your DH and you don’t have to justify that to anyone. Enjoy! 😊

GlutesthatSalute · 26/05/2025 05:04

Your mistake is to submit your life to anyone else for approval

GreenOtter · 26/05/2025 05:43

Sounds great OP! I haven’t ever been on unpaid leave except my part-time days off when I returned to work after one year paid leave. I worked three days of a five-day working week. However financially we need two incomes so back to work full-time for me.

I will always look back on the part-time working week with happy memories. I had DC one of those days and then had one day for myself! It was a lovely balance.

Enjoy it.

CGaus · 26/05/2025 06:23

I don’t see why not if you can afford it - life is for living, and when you’re at the end of your life I’d doubt you will wish for more time at work rather than more time with people you love or doing things that make you happy.

I’m a stay at home mum to a toddler but will probably never work again. I love being a mum and have plenty to keep me busy without paid work, both productive things for the family and things I do for my own happiness. My children going to school doesn’t automatically mean I’ll be rushing to fill the hours they’re at school with paid work.

screwyou · 26/05/2025 06:44

I always worked 3 days a week when mine were younger. I still do 3 days a week now (FT over 3 long days) even though they are both at Uni. I would never ever willing work 5 days a week again.

Koalafan · 26/05/2025 06:46

It's absolutely nobody else's business if it works for you and your family, in terms of finances and time
I understand working because you have to or even because you want to, but I hate this mentality of looking down on anyone who works less hours (outside the home). You may well be happier and more available for your family, which can only be good.

CurbsideProphet · 26/05/2025 06:46

I work 0.6 hours across 3 days and will continue when DC starts school in a couple of years. My employer wouldn't allow me to just increase my hours, as it was a lot of paperwork to reduce them after maternity leave.

1984Winston · 26/05/2025 06:48

I work three days a week and my youngest started school last September, my mental health has improved no end having some time to myself, there's no point increasing my hours as we have no help with childcare and I'm only on just above minimum wage so paying for childcare would be daft. My DH has a better job than me and he's happy with the way things are (I do all the school runs)