To have two days a week to myself?

[twofulldays]

It’s been an intense few years and I’ve definitely taken on the lions share of parenting.

DS starts school in September, and am planning to stay 0.6, so three days a week. This obviously means I’ll have two days a week to myself if you like. But it also means on those days he won’t have to do breakfast / after school club.

The number of comments I’ve had about this has surprised me. AIBU to work part time with primary school aged children? I will have them all school holidays and I guess I feel I’ve earned a little time to myself in term time!

I fully intend to stay three days for the foreseeable! From August I will have Thursdays all to myself 9-3 and I can’t wait and then when DD2 starts school, three days a week! As I work a weekend day. I may switch to another weekday though.

Mine need ferried about the older they get. Complete opposite. Private driving practice from a parent with the eldest teen, next teen down needs lifts for this and that etc. Definitely not at a loose end here the older they get...

I live in a city where they walk to and from school, music, activities in their own. And they sleep in at weekends!

I started 22.5 hrs a week when my ds was 3. He's now 25 and I haven't had time to up my hours yet 🤣

NRTFT but just came on to say I am still working part time 0.6 fte and both my kids are now in secondary school with one about to finish! I really hope to stay that way until the youngest is 18 and finished A Levels at least - 5 more years to go 🤞

Mine are up early at weekends to practise a sport one weekend morning. They usually lie in on the other.

You're lucky you have minimal involvement by way of having great transport links where you are.

It’s the dream surely? I went to 4 days at that point but it was financial imperative not because I actually wanted to. I work 5 days now and would definitely work 3 if a) I could afford to b) my employer would allow it.

Do you have a partner? It's just you might find they start to do less and you maybejust as busy but with less money, pension etc. Also kids are sick all the time, schools want parents in school regularly for events plus there are teacher training days etc. You won't have that much more time.

My daughter is coming to the end of reception and I would say most of the mums I know either work part or flexibly working full time but doing school pick ups and working in the evenings to make up the hours.

I was working 4 days a week when my daughter started and it was good to have a day to get the shopping and washing done and keep on top of the housework so there's less to do at the weekend. I also put her in swimming on this day too. We were able to work it so that we only occasionally needed breakfast club but started with after school club until 5.45 4 days a week which turned out to be too much for my daughter. Thankfully my mum was able to pick up an after school one day a week which helped immensely.

I've since been made redundant and pregnant so on a career break and honestly no one batted an eye lid about me taking a break between jobs before announcing my pregnancy. Really don't over think things. There's a mix of stay at home parents, part time parents and full time parents but the most common is working 3-4 days a week

Don't feel guilty at all OP. I am also planning to keep my three day week when my child starts school in September. I would earn the exact same salary if I changed to school hours over a 5 day week. I think this works better for us, downtime is a bonus and I'll be free to spend at least two days a week with my child during all of the school holidays and inset days hopefully. Enjoy your days off, you deserve it!

Anyone commenting negatively to you is most likely just jealous! I’m jealous!
I’ve recently gone down to 4 days as life admin was drowning me - and I find that one day off SO busy, I feel like I get nothing done and am still drowning, but at least I have that one day! Cleaning, chores, shopping, food prep, laundry, life admin, medical appointments, cats to the vet etc etc…

If your household can accommodate it, do it!

I wouldn’t, unless there were health reasons etc. Yes it’s full on when the DC are little, but with 2 parents it’s certainly do-able to work full time. But if you can afford it, why not. But think about longer term too, reduced pension / career prospects.

I did this for a couple of years when my 2 dc were in lower primary. I had been working 3 days a week anyway and kept it up until I think dd2 was 7ish, then increased to 4 days a week.

It was lovely. There was time to do the bulk of household stuff within those two days, as well as my socialising and other things for myself such as the gym. I benefitted from that. It freed me up at evenings and weekends for family time.

My children benefitted because I could do the school run two days a week, took them out after school and did play dates, made friends with other school parents and was able to attend a lot of school stuff and had a significant role in the PTA. It was a really happy, balanced time. It helped that a lot of my friends did the same and some never went back to full time even with kids in secondary school!

I am the same, my youngest is going into Primary 4 after the summer so I have had 3 lovely years of 2 days to myself! I think the whole family gets the benefit of it and I deserve it after getting through the baby and toddler years times 3 with no time to myself! Anyone that comments is just jealous!

I wouldn't mind a full time job some time in the future but I am a teacher (for now) and wouldn't want to never be able to pick up and drop off my kids from school.

My DC is in nursery 4 days a week and I only work 3. We both have very stressful jobs and I was at absolute breaking point when we made this decision to add the extra day, and I can honestly say it's changed our lives. I have so much more energy even though it's only a few hours a week "off". DH doesn't mind because I reciprocate most weekends and take her off for some 1:1 time, which gives him a break and is also lovely for her and me.

However we don't tend to tell people about it for all the reasons you've described.

Do what works for you and your family OP.

I do the same (well every other week as I'm 0.7).

I have no intention of being full time. Although I do earn same as my husband from it.

It sounds like loads but somehow disappears. By the time I've done a walk, some cleaning, phoned insurance, garage, whatever needs doing that week it seems to be school pick up time.

I love it though and wouldn't change it. I feel this is the trade off for going back to work when they were 10months. I always said I'd prefer part time for longer over extended maternity.

I also worked 3 days a week and when DD started school a lot of people assumed that I would increase days. They thought I was working PT for childcare reasons when it was partially that, but mainly because I have quite serious health issues and need to work PT to have some quality of life. I actually went up to 4 days when DD started school but was exhausted so after 18 months went back to 3 days. DH has worked shifts for years and works 50% of weekends, lots of night shifts etc. He hasat least 2 weekdays off to himself so there was never an issue about me having more downtime- actually he does because he’s very rarely solo parenting- DD is either at school or I’m also around (on a weekend). I earn about £15-20 20k a year more working PT than he does working FT so also feel like I more than pay my way which probably also helps. 12 hours a week is soon filled with cleaning, gardening, life admin, shopping, cooking, laundry etc (we have no outside help in the house), plus managing my medical appointments, helping our parents, plus we’ve done a huge house renovation. So there’s a lot less free time than you might think!

I work 0.6. DD1 about to leave school. DD2 starting secondary in August. I’ve been part-time for 7 years in my current role. Had been 0.8 in a role with a lot of travel before taking redundancy. I had to work a year full time before going to 0.6. Was utterly miserable. I’m lucky, I’m mid-50s, mortgage nearly paid off and pension provision reasonable. If I was in my 30s I’d probably be full-time. I love having 2 days to myself, I consider myself semi-retired, and love my life. We’re not well off financially but we spent loads of quality time together and the DDs have been able to do activities that would have been impossible had I been full-time. I’ll never got back up to full-time hours.

I think it’s totally fine - and I wouldn’t even call them days “to yourself” if you’re planning to do housework, chores, errands in some of that time.

Plus as pps have said, it’s 12 hours (minus any travel time) not two whole days.

I’ve never been pt myself but it sounds a good idea if you can afford it.

(Edit - was never pt because I was self employed but in a weird way, which didn’t involve choosing hours. And now am a single parent and can’t afford to be pt)

If you can afford it,do it.
I returned to work when DC1 started primary school. I only worked 4hrs 2 days a week and gradually increased my hours as more hours became available.By the time DC were 11 and 7 , I was working 5 hrs a day Mon-Thurs. I also spent a lot of time caring for my parents who had illnesses that meant they needed help with shopping,hospital appointments,banking etc.
So not really much time for myself.

Will read the rest of the replies in a moment.

So - no, in a word. If DH dropped down to three days a week we’d have to sell the house and adjust our living standards accordingly. So I guess this is what I’m wondering. Should I be tired and stressed and the children in wraparound five days a week, morning and evening, just so it’s ‘fair’?

Exactly the same plus sports every weekend means I'm up at 6 every Sunday for football or rugby

It’s really only up to you and your husband to have an opinion on this.

You can either address with him and ask if it’s “fair” and how he feels or say nothing and hope he never considers if he would also like to work less hours.

my brother and SIL both work condensed 4 day weeks on full pay, if we can both do that we want to do so. I think if we could financially cope on one of us doing 4 days (eg we both earn say the same, or the 4 day person more) then I’d (or they) would naturally be really jealous but there’s not a lot could be done?

it’s no one else’s opinion but your DHs but they do deserve an opinion.

Well no of course not. But it’s always worth considering if both parents doing 4 days a week is an option instead of relying on each parent for one particular thing. Particularly in this situation where your end up with two entire days neither working nor parenting and your dh doesn’t have that. And possibly will have to work while simultaneously parenting on Fridays which is always a headache?

ny husband and I both work compressed hours - so full time in 4 days and therefore only 3 days in wraparound. Not recommending that necessarily as it’s a bit chaotic but maybe he could at least not work a Friday afternoon so he’s not trying to do two things at once.