Child surname

[Maggiem92]

Thoughts please…. son’s wife went behind his back and registered their baby with her surname despite him asking her not to

What relevance is that unless of course you would also be happy for the father to provide no funding for the child.

Of course you would blame the woman and not the man..... it's so tiresome when the misogyny comes from inside the house.

Why does the fathers wants and needs trump the mothers?

Couldn't he have registered the birth himself? He could have used his name then.

Er, no. They put equal effort into conceiving the baby, so they are equally financially responsible for it.

She put a lot more effort than he did into growing and birthing the baby, so if they can't agree on the baby's surname, she gets to choose.

Absolute nonsense and wildly contradictory.

It’s traditional for babies to have the same name as Mum. Why doesn’t he change his name?

Nonsense is in the eye of the beholder, but why is it contradictory, pray tell?

Your original comment literally alluded to an issue in the relationship otherwise why would you care which name the child had? That has absolutely nothing to do with misogyny and everything to do with inappropriate couples having children.

Need more info. First, check what the registration actually is before worrying; for example in Scotland the entry will indexed under both names (assuming he has not been left off the birth certificate altogether, which is a different issue). Generally, though, if the parents have different surnames the mother's would be the default unless both parents agree on a different option, so her actions may not have been malicious.

OP, what did your son want the baby to be called?

His name, or both their names?

Is his surname one that most people would be happy to have? Or one that is hard to spell, sounds like a euphemism, etc?

You literally blamed them saying they was stupid enough to have a baby with an inappropriate partner simply because a woman chose her own name...blatantly misogynistic.

It makes far more sense for women to keep their own names and for any children to follow suit.

It makes sense for a baby to have their mum's last name.

Not at all I haven't been at the registration if either of my children

It's absolute nonsense that she put a lot more effort into growing and birthing the baby?

Biology not your strongest subject by chance?

It does if you had a baby with an inappropriate partner and don’t expect the relationship to last. Less so otherwise.

If you expect the relationship to fail it does.

Don’t blame her, hell would freeze over before a child I carried and gave birth to didn’t have my surname. And don’t quote “tradition”, the tradition was always that children took their mother’s surname. If he wants the same name as his child he can always change his.

Women don't have crystal balls ....it's recognised thar domestic violence often doesn't start until pregnancy.

It can be many years before the mask slips.

Given the high number of divorces and absent fathers its far more practical for children to take their mother's name.

Maybe her surname flows better with the first name they have decided?
Maybe your sons name is the baby’s middle name?
Why does a baby have to have a father’s surname if the parents are married? The child isn’t owned by the father and neither is the mother. It’s a beautiful concept if a woman wants to adopt her husbands surname but it’s not mandatory? She’s still an individual person as the child will be with their own identity. Their father’s name isn’t their sole identity. The child may grow up and decide they want an entirely different name and change is via deed poll.

I don't see the problem.

Makes spurious claim including random reference to double barrelling. Provides link that says something else. Not very helpful.

I'd love to hear her side of this.

I’m not sure it is. The only one I know who do this are ones who had kids following one night stands or something similar.

I don’t know anyone in an established relationship who didn’t use the fathers surname.

It’s more practical not to have a child with a wrong ‘un.