Child surname

[Maggiem92]

Thoughts please…. son’s wife went behind his back and registered their baby with her surname despite him asking her not to

No, I asked how that works and whether they had different surnames. The OP only said they were married.
It wasn't an option to register DS with my maiden name when we lived in the UK, either. We have one family name.

You then went on to some odd generalisation that I could have kept my maiden name or given DD some random surname. I clarified my situation based on your comment.

There’s more to this than you are being told OP.

Anyway why was he so rigid about the baby not having her surname…does it actually really matter?

When did you live in the UK?

You can give a child any surname you like in the UK. If a woman has kept her surname upon marriage, it could be that but it can literally be any random surname too.

Women aren't forced to give up their surnames here.

I'm happily married and our kids have my surname, I didn't change my name on marriage. My husband has kept his 'maiden name' the rest of us have my name

I thought if you were married both parents were supposed to be there to register the birth.

If you're married the birth can be registered by either parent solo. Both parents need to be present if they are unmarried for the father to be put on the birth certificate.

Nope. If you're married there's less requirement for both to be there. The marriage means that either parent can register the birth with both parents on the certificate.

Because if they aren't he has bigger problems than a surname if she registered the birth alone

@BillyNoProblems I love what you've done. Seems crazy that women give up their names in 2025.

It wasn't an option to register DS with my maiden name when we lived in the UK, either. We have one family name.
It would have been an option. You could have changed your name on marriage and still given your baby your maiden name, or any surname if you wanted.

A while ago...

I didn't know you could give any random surname. I also don't get why anyone would do that. I understand giving either the father's or the mother's surname, if they haven't changed them when getting married...but I do think a child deserves to have some connection to their family. I also think a family would have figured that out beforehand. So, what was the reason? Does it sound better?
The name doesn't change anything in terms of parental rights and responsibilities. So even if they decide to divorce after the birth, both parents are still equally responsible. (And you'd hope they don't plan on getting divorced straight after having a baby...)

I could have kept my surname here as well..or ex could have taken my name, but his was "nicer".

Why is he adamant the child has his name over hers? I expect his refusal to accept that as an option is at the root of why she decided to go ahead and do it.

He doesn’t get to tell her not to do something.

Whose uterus did the baby grow in, out of interest: your son's or his wife's?

I imagine when people have little or no relationship with their families and want a fresh start with their own family. I've heard some couples making up new last names that they both take and then DC get the new last name also or their new name is a combination of their previous surnames and DC gets new combo surname too.

My DC have double barrelled last names as I kept my surname and we both wanted DC to have our surnames.

Potentially advisable to get legal advice on this.

a babies name can be changed within the first 12 months

Strikes me that if he was that bothered about the baby having his name and they hadn’t reached an agreement then he should have gone with her to register the birth.

Legal advice? What for?

Was he not able to take paternity leave and go with her? If he is leaving her to do everything else, why shouldn't the child have her surname?

Things obviously aren't great in their marriage, and if they couldn't agree on the name, i imagine there are a hundred more things they are arguing about too. If they are arguing that much, the marriage is on the rocks and it sounds like she is considering divorce and doesn't want to end up in a situation where she has a different name to her child.

Ummmm to see what he can do about the situation, where he stands legally.....

Not much I don't think. Both parents don't have to be there to register the birth if they are married and babies don't have to have their fathers surname.

He can apply to court for a specific issue order to change the name if he wants - and if he wants to totally wreck his marriage in the process! Or he can use his words and yea to persuade his wife to agree to add his name. Otherwise he sucks it up. Free legal advice :)

This only applies to first names not surnames. If they are married the registered surname stays, it can be changed if they are unmarried & he isn’t on original registration or if they marry and child is re-registered.

Wise of you were stupid enough to have a baby with an inappropriate partner in which case the naming of the child is the least of your issues.