Page 14 | Do today's teenagers/20-somethings lack resilience?

ToutesetBonne · 2025-05-24T07:57:48+00:00

Prompted by another thread, I'm reminded of the number of times, at work, when I shake my head in disbelief about the dramas some of the younger staff create out of nothing! I work for a lovely organisation in beautiful surroundings, with some of the best 'perks' I've ever encountered. Our salaries are well above average and we have free lunches, parking, and private health care. Despite this, so many of our younger staff throw complete wobblies if asked to do anything that they perceive to be outside their role description, and have close to a breakdown if a manager (I am not one - no-one reports to me) queries any aspect of their work or asks them to change something in a written paper, or suggests that they might need some help with a task. Where is the resilience? I am a labour voter who cringes at the expression 'snowflake' but, gosh, I'm beginning to see where it comes from!

Original poster

ToutesetBonne · 25/05/2025 12:27

TortolaParadise · 25/05/2025 12:04

As the majority of respondents seem to agree (broadly) with my point, how do we fix this?

I wish I had a solution but instead I have an opinion based on my experiences/observations. It would be helpful to have self - awareness, accountability and personal responsibility amongst your behaviours not solely the primal instinct to blame (slander/defame) others. This is in context to this discussion.

??

OP posts:

Doingtheboxerbeat · 25/05/2025 12:51

FedupofArsenalgame · 25/05/2025 07:49

Is it better to be more infantile though and be able to manage less? seems like a step backwards. Don't have to send kids up chimneys or even working full 🌕 time but there's teenagers ages of historically working age that parents are asking if they can spend an evening alone.
So there's no reason 14 year olds can't take themselves places, sort themselves food etc. Sort out their own friendship issues It can't be very good for your confidence if every person time something goes wrong a parent jumps in to " sort it". It's effectively the elling them they are unable so eventually they are will believe and act as so

Thing I did with my kids of they came telling me something was wrong or someone did it was ask " well what can you do about that" or " what do you think is the solution". It's helping them to learn how to deal with stuff

Not sure if what central heating has to do with anything. ( Remember the icicles btw)

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I agree with everything you have said but why is this their fault, and not ours as a society? We made this situation ourselves by trying to make their lives easier and not giving them enough freedom ( I used walk myself to school from the age of six 😱) .

The icicles/central heating reference was about how hardy we were because we had no choice and didn't know any different, not because we were made of sterner stuff as lots of people on this thread seem to imply 🫣.

Natsku · 25/05/2025 13:04

Doingtheboxerbeat · 25/05/2025 12:51

I agree with everything you have said but why is this their fault, and not ours as a society? We made this situation ourselves by trying to make their lives easier and not giving them enough freedom ( I used walk myself to school from the age of six 😱) .

The icicles/central heating reference was about how hardy we were because we had no choice and didn't know any different, not because we were made of sterner stuff as lots of people on this thread seem to imply 🫣.

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It's not their fault, they can't help the way they were parented, that's why parenting needs to change.
My DD walked herself to school from 6, that was just 8 years ago. And both my babies napped outside in temperature as low as -20, neither of them are fussed about the cold now! (DD keeps the heating off in her room in winter even)

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/05/2025 13:43

daffodilandtulip · 24/05/2025 10:52

Wait til you see what's coming through primary schools as a result of covid babies...

A lot of the issues here are caused by councils, etc, using 'Covid' as a catch-all excuse to decimate funding for, and hence access to, the essential services that help parents to give children a good start.

FedupofArsenalgame · 25/05/2025 15:35

Doingtheboxerbeat · 25/05/2025 12:51

I agree with everything you have said but why is this their fault, and not ours as a society? We made this situation ourselves by trying to make their lives easier and not giving them enough freedom ( I used walk myself to school from the age of six 😱) .

The icicles/central heating reference was about how hardy we were because we had no choice and didn't know any different, not because we were made of sterner stuff as lots of people on this thread seem to imply 🫣.

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I didn't say it's their fault. Tbh it's a parenting/ social fail

PhilippaGeorgiou · 25/05/2025 16:16

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/05/2025 13:43

A lot of the issues here are caused by councils, etc, using 'Covid' as a catch-all excuse to decimate funding for, and hence access to, the essential services that help parents to give children a good start.

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(a) You may not have noticed but it wasn't councils that decimated funding for anything - it was 14 years of a Conservative government
(b) Whilst I am in favour of support for children and parents, I am 67 years old, and when I was a child parents had very few problems teaching us resilience (or manners or good behaviour). It may not have been perfect, but parents as a general rule should not need to be taught to be good parents or to care for their children.

TankFlyBossW4lk · 25/05/2025 16:45

Catsonskis · 24/05/2025 09:19

Omg OP I agree. I’m mid thirties and worked in admin and clerical in the nhs since I was 21. I’m a manager. Recently made the decision to swap 2 rooms around, literally room a with staff that perform function x to swap with room b but still perform function x. No change in job whatsoever, just move one room down as the team has expanded.
2 have gone off sick with stress, several have been seen crying about it, one has escalated to HR (HR politely told them to do one) and one has gone to the union who are being ridiculous. The rooms are identical bar one is larger, both have the same light coming from same windows, same desk layout, there’s no reasonable adjustments that can’t be facilitated in the new room. The team are “protesting” and as such have slowed down their pace of work and moaning wanting formal meetings etc. I walked passed a few in the canteen and did a cheery hello and they literally looked away and scoffed, like high schoolers.

now instead of getting in with work I need to do that’s vital to patient experience, I’ve got meetings with the union, got to manage sickness and come up with a mitigation plan to improve the performance and morale.
THEYRE MOVING NEXT DOOR

Might this be a straw the camels back situation?

Sharptonguedwoman · 25/05/2025 17:17

Catsonskis · 24/05/2025 09:19

Omg OP I agree. I’m mid thirties and worked in admin and clerical in the nhs since I was 21. I’m a manager. Recently made the decision to swap 2 rooms around, literally room a with staff that perform function x to swap with room b but still perform function x. No change in job whatsoever, just move one room down as the team has expanded.
2 have gone off sick with stress, several have been seen crying about it, one has escalated to HR (HR politely told them to do one) and one has gone to the union who are being ridiculous. The rooms are identical bar one is larger, both have the same light coming from same windows, same desk layout, there’s no reasonable adjustments that can’t be facilitated in the new room. The team are “protesting” and as such have slowed down their pace of work and moaning wanting formal meetings etc. I walked passed a few in the canteen and did a cheery hello and they literally looked away and scoffed, like high schoolers.

now instead of getting in with work I need to do that’s vital to patient experience, I’ve got meetings with the union, got to manage sickness and come up with a mitigation plan to improve the performance and morale.
THEYRE MOVING NEXT DOOR

OMG I'd be tearing my hair.

Bilbo63 · 25/05/2025 17:24

There are positives as well - I don’t think the younger generation should put up with nonsense just because they are new to the workforce.

I can remember my son being asked to write a report and his name being replaced by the person who asked him to write the report. He went to his manager - they did nothing and he was told by other people he needed to learn to play the game. He called her out in a team meeting instead. They left the room crying and told him he was rude - he said so is plagiarism.

Other son - year in industry - got a very passive aggressive email from a manager and arranged a meeting - again called them out on it. He said to me, I give people respect and I know when I am not being respected.

Good on them both - that’s resilience and both are doing exceptionally well.

Dfffdc · 25/05/2025 17:32

I feel this whining and whining is one of the reasons the UK has a productivity issue

Borgonzola · 25/05/2025 17:36

I have worked with 3 women who threw wobblies when asked to do perfectly routine tasks.
All were late 50s.

I think the phrase ‘twas ever thus’ rings true here. I’m in my late 30s and haven’t observed any of my younger colleagues wobbling over anything. But I think it’s pretty normal to disapprove of the younger generation.

Izyboo · 25/05/2025 17:51

NBU, A younger coworker said only last week "It's above my paygrade" when actually it was well within their duties to perform said task. She just didn't want to do it.

Yellowstickerstalker · 25/05/2025 17:53

It’s definitely a thing. About 5 of my friends who are managers have said the same thing. I suspect that many go straight from school to Uni without having to work. I’d done 3 different jobs before I went to Uni, and worked two jobs all the way through. That’s a sure fire way to understand the world of work isn’t always fair! In retail though I found it the opposite, the younger ones were resilient and the older ones moaned more..

Dfffdc · 25/05/2025 17:59

On a more positive note when someone you manage does a excellent piece of work, do you tell them your proud of them

Neemie · 25/05/2025 18:11

Not really the case at my work. Most of the young staff are pretty resilient. I had a go at someone last week after she messed up. I apologised later for being for being foul, but she didn’t seem bothered. She just cheerily told me that the situation would have stressed her out if she was me. On the other hand, my older line manager needs constant reassurance, has a fragile ego and cries a lot.

RosyDaysAhead · 25/05/2025 18:12

I have worked in the same nhs jobs for 25 years. It’s a graduate entry position. We are now finding the “snowflake” generation don’t want to work. They spend as much time as they can scrolling on their phones, refuse to work nights (it’s only 1-2 per month) and try to weedle out of weekends. Why do a degree that leads largely to an nhs profession (private sector work in my field is extremely rare), if you aren’t prepared to work 24/7 rotational shifts? The pay is good and reflects the antisocial hours work. It’s like they didn’t even check when they picked their degree what the job would entail? They just don’t want to work…. And the whinging! Omg!

laraitopbanana · 25/05/2025 18:13

😂😂😂😂

just here to follow

laraitopbanana · 25/05/2025 18:16

Borgonzola · 25/05/2025 17:36

I have worked with 3 women who threw wobblies when asked to do perfectly routine tasks.
All were late 50s.

I think the phrase ‘twas ever thus’ rings true here. I’m in my late 30s and haven’t observed any of my younger colleagues wobbling over anything. But I think it’s pretty normal to disapprove of the younger generation.

That.

younger generation are full of hope and energy and it is pretty annoying to any older generations 😂

OonaStubbs · 25/05/2025 18:17

We need a war. How would Gen Z have coped during the Blitz in WW2 and in the trenches in WW1?

BooBooDoodle · 25/05/2025 18:19

The younger ones where I work are extremely precious and all stampy feet and tantrums. They are also shagging one another and that’s after 2 of them cheated on their long time girlfriends, group of 4 of them and they have caused absolute carnage and drama. We’ve had older staff leave because they can’t stand the atmosphere these lot bring to work. Never their fault though.

laraitopbanana · 25/05/2025 18:21

OonaStubbs · 25/05/2025 18:17

We need a war. How would Gen Z have coped during the Blitz in WW2 and in the trenches in WW1?

There would be no war. They would all be scrolling on their phone ignoring each others?

141mum · 25/05/2025 18:30

Mightyhike · 24/05/2025 09:11

I disagree OP. I haven't observed this in my teenage DC / their friends / my 20 something colleagues.

Me neither, both worked, one just finished uni while working part time as did all her friends have all paid their own holidays as well

141mum · 25/05/2025 18:36

Runnersandtoms · 24/05/2025 09:54

I'd agree with this. The Tourettes community is similar in encouraging people with tics to stop trying to suppress their tics and that the wider community should just be educated on why they shouldn't discriminate against people with tics. All very noble but realistically there are situations and jobs where some tics (not all) will be unacceptable and people who suffer with tics are going to limit their own possibilities in life if they refuse to ever suppress them.

Similarly with autism and ADHD, I'm all for awareness and making allowances where possible but at the end of the day you have to try and find a way to function in life. If you are always late/miss deadlines, even if it's due to ADHD, nobody will want to work with you. So if you know these things are hard for you, you need to find systems to help yourself function effectively (additional reminders, tick lists, alarms etc). I say this the parent of someone with tourettes and as yet undiagnosed but probable ADHD/autism.

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My adult children 30 and 22 both have Tourette’s and hold them in as much as possible, sometimes though the 22 year olds have really flared up and it’s exhausting for her so had to miss work until under control
roll on when the new watch is rolled out to try

DoraSpenlow · 25/05/2025 18:41

Redamyryllis · 24/05/2025 18:02

@DoraSpenlow "Compared to a 20 year old relative who, at a family meal recently, had no qualms about asking her Dad to cut her meat up for her, I think we were all adequately mature at that age."

Please tell me this isn't true ? 😮

I wish it was. You could almost hear the eye rolling around the table.

bombastix · 25/05/2025 18:42

Bilbo63 · 25/05/2025 17:24

There are positives as well - I don’t think the younger generation should put up with nonsense just because they are new to the workforce.

I can remember my son being asked to write a report and his name being replaced by the person who asked him to write the report. He went to his manager - they did nothing and he was told by other people he needed to learn to play the game. He called her out in a team meeting instead. They left the room crying and told him he was rude - he said so is plagiarism.

Other son - year in industry - got a very passive aggressive email from a manager and arranged a meeting - again called them out on it. He said to me, I give people respect and I know when I am not being respected.

Good on them both - that’s resilience and both are doing exceptionally well.

Is it? Are they do well with their senior management? It does not sound like it