Do today's teenagers/20-somethings lack resilience?

[ToutesetBonne]

Prompted by another thread, I'm reminded of the number of times, at work, when I shake my head in disbelief about the dramas some of the younger staff create out of nothing!

I work for a lovely organisation in beautiful surroundings, with some of the best 'perks' I've ever encountered. Our salaries are well above average and we have free lunches, parking, and private health care.

Despite this, so many of our younger staff throw complete wobblies if asked to do anything that they perceive to be outside their role description, and have close to a breakdown if a manager (I am not one - no-one reports to me) queries any aspect of their work or asks them to change something in a written paper, or suggests that they might need some help with a task.

Where is the resilience? I am a labour voter who cringes at the expression 'snowflake' but, gosh, I'm beginning to see where it comes from!

DH & I both say the exact same thing, we are in very different industries and roles but feel exactly the same.
He is working with apprentices who cry when get asked to do something different or fix an error.
The younger people at my place, are exactly like you describe.
I also see it in my own teens, and as much as we have worked really hard on bringing up independent young people, some of the stuff they say or do drives me to despair (they do both have SEN needs though so then I feel bad).

Can you be more specific in your examples? Like what actually was asked of them and what the “wobbly” and close to a meltdown actually consisted of? And how many young workers do it out of how many?

In contrast, at my work place the wobblers (sometimes often justified) are ALL 30+ while the young ‘uns tend to shrug things off.

I disagree OP. I haven't observed this in my teenage DC / their friends / my 20 something colleagues.

My dd, who is also in her early 20s, got frustrated with this when she had to train younger staff too.

It’s not entirely their fault. They’ve been raised at every level to expect to be mollycoddled by parents, school and college. Many of them lack initiative, resilience or social ability because they didn’t play out or have experiences where they could learn those skills.

And with subsequent generations being brought up staring at screens, it’s only going to get worse.

Ok.... an example (and this is just something I've observed - I am neither a manager nor a young person!)....

Manager: please write me a paper listing all the groups we work with that might benefit from new initiative 'A'.
Young staff member submits a paper that doesn't mention the new initiative at all.
Manager: thanks for having a go at this, but I'm a bit confused that you haven't actually mentioned initiative 'A'. Can you talk me through it please?
Young staff member: this is what I hate about working here - everyone bullies me!

I wish I was exaggerating....

I think many of them have had lawnmower parents who have smoothed the path in front of them so they don't understand why there are these bumps on the road. And that someone wanting something done differently isn't a major slur on their ability/character, it's just part of the world of work. We've found that after 6 months or so most grow up fast and learn to cope better.

Yes. Yes they do.

It’s obviously very variable from person to person.

In general and from my experience, I agree.

But I suspect it has always been this way, and that (regardless of your current age) the generation above you probably thought you were a bit soft and a bit dramatic.

I agree with you. Most of the trainee teachers I've encountered in the past 5 years have been woefully unprepared for the world of work and adult life.

So many causes for this, parents who won't give their teenagers independence. A school system which bends over backwards to place all the responsibility on someone else other than the student. Parents who want to be their child's friend rather than the parent so who never back down or expect anything.

This surprises me as, when I was at school, the teacher just marked things as right or wrong and you passed or didnt and if you did the best in the class you got told well done.
The more recently schooled have gone through purple polishing pens where everytime they submit writing, they have to go over it to make it better, and the whole "even better if' where basically they can never be good enough.

Omg OP I agree. I’m mid thirties and worked in admin and clerical in the nhs since I was 21. I’m a manager. Recently made the decision to swap 2 rooms around, literally room a with staff that perform function x to swap with room b but still perform function x. No change in job whatsoever, just move one room down as the team has expanded.
2 have gone off sick with stress, several have been seen crying about it, one has escalated to HR (HR politely told them to do one) and one has gone to the union who are being ridiculous. The rooms are identical bar one is larger, both have the same light coming from same windows, same desk layout, there’s no reasonable adjustments that can’t be facilitated in the new room. The team are “protesting” and as such have slowed down their pace of work and moaning wanting formal meetings etc. I walked passed a few in the canteen and did a cheery hello and they literally looked away and scoffed, like high schoolers.

now instead of getting in with work I need to do that’s vital to patient experience, I’ve got meetings with the union, got to manage sickness and come up with a mitigation plan to improve the performance and morale.
THEYRE MOVING NEXT DOOR

I don’t find it is an age specific phenomenon. I think the mental health of the population seems lower in general since the pandemic.

It makes me wonder how these folks pass the job interview stage or do they not show their true colours until after they are offered the role?

and they’re ALL in their 20s?

I would say it is their parents who lack the resilience of their children and want to play hell every time the wind blows with school and want to call their uni and bosses to sort out problems

Sometimes, sometimes not.

I work in a school and we've had some of our young people working with us over the years on work experience. One was truly memorable, couldn't take some posters down off the walls because she'd had her nails done the day before (I kid you not), then had a day off because she'd 'worked so hard she felt unwell'...

But then we've had others who have volunteered to do some of the grubby jobs like clearing out a store room, stayed late to help to set up a display and will happily just get on with whatever is thrown at them.

Oddly enough the vast majority of the work experience that have stepped up also volunteer outside school (like Scout helpers), have a Saturday job or have done the Duke of Edinburgh. Maybe those things knock the edges back a bit?

To be honest I’m really impressed with all the teens and 20 somethings who come through my workplace. Very stressful industry, where you tend to have to learn on the job and through your mistakes, which are inevitably on show to a lot of people. There are tears occasionally from the odd one but I have full sympathy given the circumstances. Most are completely resilient and professional, and I actually wonder how they do it. I certainly couldn’t have coped at their age. Not to invalidate your experience, just wanted to share mine.

One of my kids has zero resilience, the other has loads.

No, I don't necessarily think so. (Also haven't older generations always commented on the lackings of younger ones?)

I am a teacher, and what I notice is that lack of resilience of parents, on behalf of their children. Eg this week I made someone Head Boy. I have had over 10 horrible phone calls and emails from parents who say I have ruined their child's life because I didn't choose them, and I have to find them another job in school to do . I can't imagine my parents even dreaming of doing this when I was at school. It's the same over everything. Where they sit in class, how they did in tests, how long they had to eat lunch, a supply teacher snapped at them, they fell out with a friend... It has to be an insulting or difficult phone call to me. We fuel a lack of resilience at home by being unable to say 'that's a shame, oh well'.

I have become aware recently just how much stuff there is all over social media about mental health. My adult, diagnosed autistic, dd has started sending me videos, and she's believing every word and looking for more.
She used to be capable of doing all sorts of things, but now she says it was because she was masking.
She won't mask now, wanting to be authentic, but what it actually does is throw a lot of responsibility onto other people. There is little recognition that the rest of us also had to learn how to handle situations which we find difficult or overwhelming.
I'm just looking at all these videos from all these young people, telling us ignorant oldies how life is just impossible, and I think, if I'd watched all that when I was in my 20s, I'd feel like that too.
It's all gone a bit mad!

Can't say I've noticed this. Maybe your management team aren't very good. Mostly if staff are unhappy in a workplace it's down to low pay, poor terms and conditions or poor management.

I don't think so, but then I'm early 30s and my resilience is extremely low. Super high work anxiety - I just mask it until I get home and then worry about it there. With more mental health awareness amongst young people maybe they're just more likely to speak out about stress or situations they're put in that they perceive to be unreasonable.

DS (24) noticed this with his Uni and school peers- not very ambitious, not very driven or determined. He used to end up organising everything because they were indecisive. He’s backed off now, and directing his energy elsewhere.

That said he’s now in a more mixed work environment with different levels of education and ability across the teams. He’s found it interesting to see who knows their job and works hard and who really doesn’t.

On the flip side of this, it’s giving them many opportunities to improve, and they are rarely told they are wrong. Then when in the work place they don’t get to purple pen polish it or a chance to make it better before being told they haven’t submitted what was requested, they get upset.

Our teenagers / young people grew up with more protective parenting than ever before - generalising but a known trend -
so didn’t learn to navigate risks / uncertainty etc
whilst being more home bound / online
hence poorer social development
and exposed to online risk -
toxic material - unrealistic looks goals, lifestyles, etc .. leading to poor self image

a perfect storm for struggling in the adult real world … 😢

I dint think they are less resilient at all but they are less prepared to put up with bullshit and call it out. Why should someone be asked to do a job they aren't paid to do?