Page 3 | Have the school done the right thing even though it punishes the wrong set of people ?

Mumof3bringwine · 2025-05-23T18:50:19+00:00

DC is in year 6 and as I am sure everyone with a child in the same year is aware the leavers celebrations are in full swing. The leavers hoodies were organised by the class parent rep. The hoodies were handed out a while ago and the children have been proudly wearing them 2 days a week in school and were due to wear them for their residential. unfortunately the Rep has purposely left 1 child without a hoody and also did not include their name on everyone else’s hoody. I am not sure why it has only been bought to the attention of the school now, but they sent an email basically saying due to one child’s name not being on the hoody they are now banned from being worn on the school premises. Some very angry parents who think the school are punishing the children for something not in their control. I am not sure what else the school could of done ? I believe they made the right decision but I seem to be the minority!

PennywisePoundFoolish · 23/05/2025 20:13

The school has made the right call. Even if it was a mistake, I would not want my child advertising the omission in the other child's face.
As you're saying it was intentional, I would make a fuss about the class rep being deceptive and asking her for money back. It won't happen but I would need to register my disgust at her actions

JohnMajorsChicken · 23/05/2025 20:14

Whoever the parent was that purposely excluded a child like that should be absolutely ashamed of themselves, that's disgusting behaviour!

I don't care what bullshit excuse the parent came up with, it's all wrong. The school are absolutely right to not allow them to be worn. Parents should support the school on this.

arcticpandas · 23/05/2025 20:16

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 19:59

I agree my DS was a little “ disappointed “ but soon was over it.

I think all children are capable of understanding why they can't wear this hoody. All names ought to have been written on it even if someone choses to not order it. The rep is a nasty bully and I hope parents blame the right person for this (not the child or his mum even if she's hard work).

Pinepeak2434 · 23/05/2025 20:20

What a cruel person to do that to a child. The school has absolutely done the right thing - I wouldn’t want my child to wear the hoodie to school knowing that one child has been deliberately left out by a spiteful parent! My son is older and has just finished sixth form, he didn’t want a hoodie but his name was still added.

MeganM3 · 23/05/2025 20:20

Usually all names are on the hoodie but only those who pay for a hoodie get one. Seems a real shame but the school were right to ban them. Probably some miscommunication and someone should have double checked the order, not just left it to one person.

JohnMajorsChicken · 23/05/2025 20:21

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:12

I think the cause was if I remember at the time from the leavers hoody fiasco on whatsapp was a disagreement about extra payment due to VAT.
the issue is the parent had raised the issue but the rep who has a history with the mum then refunded her the hoody and removed her name from all the hoodies instead of discussing like she would with any other parent.

The rep is a horrible bully! I'd be keeping well away from their nastiness.

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:22

arcticpandas · 23/05/2025 20:16

I think all children are capable of understanding why they can't wear this hoody. All names ought to have been written on it even if someone choses to not order it. The rep is a nasty bully and I hope parents blame the right person for this (not the child or his mum even if she's hard work).

Show quote history

The original argument well was not much of an argument because rep didn’t really try to communicate with other parent as they have a bad history was that
we were all paying for our own individual hoodies and was giving the cost and chose our sizes.
around 10 maybe a bit less had requested adult size hoodies and then the remaining 20 child size hoodies. The VAT was not included when we were asked to pay but no one knew that.
when it came to it the WhatsApp was messsged to ask us all to pay an additional few pound ( had already paid I think around 30.00 )
parent of child raised that she couldn’t afford the extra few pound right now or something along those lines but then I suppose rightly so said she had paid the full amount for her hoody because she had chosen a child sized one. The Rep decided that the VAT should be split between all 30 rather than those who had ordered adult sizes. So that’s as far as the convo was taken and she was refunded without being asked the full amount she has paid and then name was removed of the list.

OP posts:

RedFaerieBoots · 23/05/2025 20:24

Let me get it right the mum who is the rep has issues with the mum of the missing child and did this to get back at her?

Fucking hell shes punished a child fairly publicly and in a horrible nasty way to get top trumps with the bairns mum.

That says a lot about what sort of person she is...and not in a good way

Theworsttiming · 23/05/2025 20:25

Surely if it was a dispute over payment they’d at least leave the child’s name on, it feels worse taking it off because of their parent!

Octavia64 · 23/05/2025 20:25

Yeah the Rep is clearly at fault here.

the mum had paid the full price for her child’s hoodie and was asking for more time to pay extra that wasn’t actually her responsibility.

it’s always the Sen kids this happens to as well so I can see why school jumped on it because it looks hideously like bullying of a family with disabilities.

pimplebum · 23/05/2025 20:25

you only have half gossip and rumour

get the real full story first

poor kid 😢

ScholesPanda · 23/05/2025 20:27

I think it would be awful for that child to see everyone in their hoodies every day knowing they've been made into a pariah.

I don't see what else the school could have done.

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:27

pimplebum · 23/05/2025 20:25

you only have half gossip and rumour

get the real full story first

poor kid 😢

The original argument played out on WhatsApp for everyone to see.

OP posts:

EsmeSusanOgg · 23/05/2025 20:29

UndermyShoeJoe · 23/05/2025 20:05

Sadly lots of parents won’t care about the other child because a lot of these children will likely be off to different schools so will just see this as ruining the end of the year 6 experience and lost cash.

Show quote history

Which is a real indictment of those parents, and the wider society we live in.

The blame lays squarely with the class rep. And if other adults cannot see that, it is very concerning. Though also a good indication of who has morally poor character in general.

thetrumanshow · 23/05/2025 20:30

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:22

The original argument well was not much of an argument because rep didn’t really try to communicate with other parent as they have a bad history was that
we were all paying for our own individual hoodies and was giving the cost and chose our sizes.
around 10 maybe a bit less had requested adult size hoodies and then the remaining 20 child size hoodies. The VAT was not included when we were asked to pay but no one knew that.
when it came to it the WhatsApp was messsged to ask us all to pay an additional few pound ( had already paid I think around 30.00 )
parent of child raised that she couldn’t afford the extra few pound right now or something along those lines but then I suppose rightly so said she had paid the full amount for her hoody because she had chosen a child sized one. The Rep decided that the VAT should be split between all 30 rather than those who had ordered adult sizes. So that’s as far as the convo was taken and she was refunded without being asked the full amount she has paid and then name was removed of the list.

Edited

Show quote history

that's so extreme!

What was the backstory?

And WHY was only ONE PERSON in charge of all the hoodies? That's an awful job, there should at least be 2 or 3 parents, it's ridiculous

EsmeSusanOgg · 23/05/2025 20:30

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:22

The original argument well was not much of an argument because rep didn’t really try to communicate with other parent as they have a bad history was that
we were all paying for our own individual hoodies and was giving the cost and chose our sizes.
around 10 maybe a bit less had requested adult size hoodies and then the remaining 20 child size hoodies. The VAT was not included when we were asked to pay but no one knew that.
when it came to it the WhatsApp was messsged to ask us all to pay an additional few pound ( had already paid I think around 30.00 )
parent of child raised that she couldn’t afford the extra few pound right now or something along those lines but then I suppose rightly so said she had paid the full amount for her hoody because she had chosen a child sized one. The Rep decided that the VAT should be split between all 30 rather than those who had ordered adult sizes. So that’s as far as the convo was taken and she was refunded without being asked the full amount she has paid and then name was removed of the list.

Edited

Show quote history

Sounds like the class rep handled it really poorly from the offset. Did noone check/ challenger the rep at the time?

UndermyShoeJoe · 23/05/2025 20:31

This is why the schools should organise it. Nobody can be left off due to bad blood or anything.

So the rep decided the VAT should be split. Parent said nah, rep went refund. Delete order and name.

not a good look but still I think more parents will be mad about the lack of now wearing the hoodies than lack of one name. The missing names doesn’t affect them personally the punishment does though and it sounds like the parents of this child are already not openly welcomed sadly.

Hankunamatata · 23/05/2025 20:31

This is why I went with a company where we the school designed the hoodie and supplied the kids names then parents ordered direct from company website and paid for it. Much less hassle and stress

EsmeSusanOgg · 23/05/2025 20:31

Octavia64 · 23/05/2025 20:25

Yeah the Rep is clearly at fault here.

the mum had paid the full price for her child’s hoodie and was asking for more time to pay extra that wasn’t actually her responsibility.

it’s always the Sen kids this happens to as well so I can see why school jumped on it because it looks hideously like bullying of a family with disabilities.

It looks like bullying, because it is bullying.

MrsPositivity1 · 23/05/2025 20:31

How would you feel if that 1 child was yours?

Fullfatandfortyplus · 23/05/2025 20:31

Taking the child’s name off the hoodies as if they never existed is appalling. Can’t believe the class rep did this. School have absolutely made correct decision in not allowing the hoodies to be worn and the bully of a class rep is to blame. Hope she’s not trying to put the blame on the poor child’s mother.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/05/2025 20:32

Can they not just get one hoodie for the child who has been left out with their name added to it? Which the class rep should pay for?

UndermyShoeJoe · 23/05/2025 20:32

EsmeSusanOgg · 23/05/2025 20:29

Which is a real indictment of those parents, and the wider society we live in.

The blame lays squarely with the class rep. And if other adults cannot see that, it is very concerning. Though also a good indication of who has morally poor character in general.

Show quote history

Happens all the time though doesn’t it. The parents of that child will be the problem because there are not liked enough and have now caused issue.

Even tho the rep caused it.

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 23/05/2025 20:33

thetrumanshow · 23/05/2025 20:30

that's so extreme!

What was the backstory?

And WHY was only ONE PERSON in charge of all the hoodies? That's an awful job, there should at least be 2 or 3 parents, it's ridiculous

Show quote history

I don’t know the back story of them other than there has previously been a public argument in the playground on more than one occasion. Prior to this incident.

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/05/2025 20:33

The School have no choice.
They can’t just tut tut in the Staff room but do nothing that would be enable bullying and discrimination against a Child (especially from another Parent which is what she’s doing). The School has a duty of care to their Pupils. Granted and I’ve no argument with the fact that it’s not the fault of the other kids, but, How would you feel if it were your little one left out more to the point how would that nasty fuckin clique bullying cunt feel if it were hers left out. I bet she was a bully in school, too.
There’s also no excuse whatsoever for this, if she has beef with the Child’s Mother or the Child itself she should have handed over the reins and said You’ll have to find someone else to organize this as I cannot or will not be able or rather willing to provide for every child.
This has made me so angry and enraged I hate kids being singled out!