CHILDREN HAVE NEVER HAD A HOLIDAY! MASSIVE GUILT!

[Una22]

I have recently been speaking to a friend who says my children have never had a proper holiday. They are 4 and 11. Most years we go away for at least 4 nights to a caravan park and she states she feels sorry for them as 4 nights away is not a holiday! My eldest does not want to go on a plane and I would not like to force him (he is autistic) plus he loves going to the caravan parks. I feel dreadful now as I feel now my kids have never had a holiday! We are saving towards a deposit for a house and I just feel that needs to take priority instead of spending loads of money on holiday which my children probably wouldnt enjoy. We also have our Mother in laws caravan that we stay in on a regular basis but again thats not a holiday! Was just looking for some honest opinions I feel like I am failing them. We are always doing various things with them but we just dont have lots of money.

Everyone likes different things, if you all enjoy a caravan break then of course it's fine.

Personally I hated caravan holidays as a kid and to me a holiday is abroad,.again we like different things. Doesn't mean you deprived your children

We’ve done trips to Disney, Mexico and across Europe.

My teenagers still talk about our caravan holidays when they were in primary school as their favourite holidays of all. In fact my eldest wants to go back after graduation as a treat!

It’s not about cost it’s about memories. I’m certain you’re making pls try if happy ones.

Took our kids to portugal once based on the same guilt of ‘we should take them abroad’. Won’t be rushing back. Had aeroplane meltdowns, misbehaving in passport control, too hot for them, youngest came out in a rash from too much sunscreen and pools and was in pain. Apartment smelled funny. Cost thousands. UK all the way for us. It’s not that we can’t afford it, it’s just not worth it (in our opinion) until they’re much older.

Not much of a “friend” - my parents took me on holiday when I was 4, 8, 12 & 15. I really don’t think they did anything wrong. They couldn’t afford more frequently. Caravan trips would be lots of fun.

Your ‘friend’ is an idiot.

For one thing our camping holidays (tent - not even a caravan!) are far less stressful than the trips abroad, dealing with airports/passports/early morning flights and I would love to have a MILs caravan that we could easily pop away to for a nice break. What a treat.

Also, well done you for prioritising your children’s security by saving for your home. How can a week or two abroad compare with that?

I think your "friend" is being sneery and rude . We had caravan holidays when young (my DP owned a static one in Deal) and some others besides .Always enjoyed them hugely. My own DC have been abroad a couple of times .OW hols here in a caravan .Really loved it !

Talking rubbish. I had my first holiday (of any kind, no camping, no caravan parks, no brownie/school trips, no time outside the home whatsoever) when I was 25 with my BF (now DH). I’ve made the most of our MC affluence to take our kids on lots of holidays - from camping to luxury overseas trips - because we can afford it and because DH and I love to travel. It may have made them more well rounded people, or it may have added to their MC privilege and entitlement. Only time will tell. But I certainly wasn’t damaged or limited by lack of exposure to overseas holidays and, in fact, appreciated it more as an adult not having been able to do it as a child.

If your kids love their UK trips with you, if you love being together, that is absolutely ALL that matters.

I will never understand these threads.

Your 'friend' tells you that your children have not had a holiday, when they definitely have, and you feel bad even though there's an actual reason why you holiday in the way you do?

Just ignore it when people say stupid things like this. It's a reflection on them and not you. Sure feel bad that you can't afford certain things, I think that's natural, but to feel bad because you're actively arranging things for your children that you know they like but that this person doesn't consider a "holiday"? Don't be silly.

Think of it differently OP, if you won the lottery tonight what holiday would you be booking next week? I’m guessing with DS’s struggles you’d book a nice long weekend at a caravan park rather than flying out to the med! Don’t feel the need to keep up with anyone else, it sounds like you and your family are doing the holidays that suit you best

A caravan holiday is a holiday! It’s not my sort of holiday and it may not be for your friend but it is still a holiday. Saving for a house deposit is a very sensible approach

My DD has autism and ADHD. Our holidays are between 2-4 nights as that’s what she can manage. Any longer and we risk meltdowns. Someone may not see a 2 night break away worth the travel but it gives us a holiday within our limitations. It sounds like you’re doing the same

This may be slightly outing. I live in Scotland, in between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Since mine were babies we have always went to seton sands haven caravan park (just the other side of Edinburgh), we usually do a mon-fri and a fri-mon each year. Now my kids are 8 and 10, we have been to Spain twice, Paris, done Disney too and both of them will always say seton sands is by far their favourite holidays. Don’t listen to your ‘friend’. Her kids are no doubt flung into kids clubs while abroad instead of making family memories. Just to add my older kid is autistic too and I was so worried about him flying but it turned out he enjoys it, it’s me who hates flying 🤣

MINE HAVEN'T EITHER! SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY TOO?!

A holiday isn't a priority, especially if you technically do take small holidays in the UK, the only difference is location.
My oldest is autistic and I don't even want to imagine how he'd be on a plane, he can't even travel in a car.

Tell your "friend" she's being stupid.

YABU in stating your kids have never been on holiday. Yes they have.

It was a mean comment guaranteed to make you feel bad. Ditch this so called friend.

Ask her which insecurities she tries to compensate for by dragging small children abroad which they don't need.

Course they have holidays. It doesn't have to be on a plane somewhere.

Delighted it has put your mind at rest.
Ditch that biatch!

I went on 3 holidays before I left home: 2x 1 week stay in a cottage in Wales, and 1 week at Butlins. Other than that we did day trips in the holidays. Very happy childhood holiday memories, particularly of the day trip years.

Nonsense. That’s a perfect holiday for youn g children. They don’t like long trips.

Perfect holiday for children and adults , relaxed , beautiful locations , exciting things to do in all weathers , how dare someone say that to you.

I had a lot of holidays across the world, many in 5* suites (paid for by dad's company) through my childhood and teen years. I would kill for those holidays now but I didn't really appreciate or enjoy them back then. Those I remember most fondly were the "crappy" ones nearby. Kids don't think like adults at all. A bit of global exposure would be nice for them, but in terms of actual enjoyment and memories, fun and human warmth is #1 for kids, not luxury or price.

She's probably one of those live on the never never neaveue riche chavs or may be proud to have done better than her parents, the type of person that hasn't been outside of own town much but feel they must drag small kids abroad for their social climbing points. Anyone who's travelled for an hour or two with small kids knows what a pain it is. You could sneer at her holidays plenty if you wanted to.

Don’t be daft. A holiday is time away from home doing what you as a family enjoy, not what your friend deems to be suitable!
I used to love caravan holidays as a kid, I can still remember them now!

Your friend is talking nonsense - of course 4 nights away in a caravan is a holiday! I bet your DC love it, and it sounds like a good break.

You're doing the right thing saving for a house deposit - keep doing that. And phase out your “friend”!

I am so cross for you! Your ‘friend’ is a twat. Do not feel bad or guilty about anything, you are not failing your children! Plenty of people holiday the same way you do, have been for years and years. We’ve just come back from a week on the south coast, it was very much a holiday! I’d be dumping any friend who was such a snobby twat to tell me otherwise.