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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CHILDREN HAVE NEVER HAD A HOLIDAY! MASSIVE GUILT!

245 replies

Una22 · 23/05/2025 09:23

I have recently been speaking to a friend who says my children have never had a proper holiday. They are 4 and 11. Most years we go away for at least 4 nights to a caravan park and she states she feels sorry for them as 4 nights away is not a holiday! My eldest does not want to go on a plane and I would not like to force him (he is autistic) plus he loves going to the caravan parks. I feel dreadful now as I feel now my kids have never had a holiday! We are saving towards a deposit for a house and I just feel that needs to take priority instead of spending loads of money on holiday which my children probably wouldnt enjoy. We also have our Mother in laws caravan that we stay in on a regular basis but again thats not a holiday! Was just looking for some honest opinions I feel like I am failing them. We are always doing various things with them but we just dont have lots of money.

OP posts:
Motherofdragons24 · 23/05/2025 09:42

Honestly ignore your friend, she’s sounds awful. I went abroad every year as a child, but my absolute favourite memories were playing in the stream at my aunts time share in Scotland. My husband never went abroad until he was a young adult with friends. He had a wonderful childhood and a very close relationship with his siblings and parents. My own children have been abroad a few times but definitely prefer caravan holidays. I’m not planning anymore “proper” holidays for a while they’re just too much work with young kids. We love a good caravan holiday!

Doitrightnow · 23/05/2025 09:44

I strongly disagree with your friend. Until I was about 10 the only holidays I had were caravans at Haven Holidays and I absolutely loved them! Happy memories. At 10 we started going to the equivalent of Centre Parcs in Belgium which was also great.

I've taken my dc to a few places in Europe but I'm not convinced they enjoyed it any more than our fantastic week in Butlins tbh.

CancelTheSkip · 23/05/2025 09:45

Find better friends.

Seeyousoonboo · 23/05/2025 09:46

With 4 kids my parents didn't take us abroad when we were kids. We have a touring caravan and went all over the country in it, we were part of a local caravan club. We had so so many good memories, it was one of things I spoke about when i gave my Dads eulogy when he died 2 years ago. My Dbro has 2 autistic children and has not taken them abroad either, instead they do lots of days trips that they know their DC will cope with and enjoy. Your friend is unkind, judgmental and not nice OP.

SJM1988 · 23/05/2025 09:46

Ignore your friend. The holidays I remember as a kid are the ones in my great grandparents caravan not the Disneyland trip we once had.

4 nights away in a caravan is a holiday to me. Most of our holidays are long weekends camping and my kids love it (we have taken them abroad but to see family for family events - although I class that as a holiday too)

NoisyLemonDog · 23/05/2025 09:46

I have such happy memories of childhood caravan holidays. They are definitely holidays! Don't forget that children have a different perception of time and four nights feels like a much longer break to them than to us.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 23/05/2025 09:47

You are taking them on lots of holidays. What a bonkers point of view.

Snorlaxo · 23/05/2025 09:47

Your friend is an idiot.

4 days may not feel like a holiday to her but it is in the normal world where holiday = change in scenery with at least an overnight stay and a caravan break fits all that.

Even if her foreign holidays are actual cultural visits to very different cultures eg a trip to Japan rather than an all inclusive full of other tourists, she should know that your son has autism and that he has an enjoyable adventure which is the point of a holiday.

I have young adult children and they often talk about the weekend trips we took (one night in a hotel) because it’s experiences together and not the length of trip that makes holidays memorable for kids.

sakuraspring · 23/05/2025 09:48

Your 'friend' is a twat.

Sockmate123 · 23/05/2025 09:49

I cant believe your 'friend' would say this!

I am the wrong person to talk to because I live for my holidays but we have our home. If we hadn't that absolutely woukd take priority. If your kids like caravan parks a French campsite would be amazing for them when you can afford it and no flight required xx

I would distance myself from that friend. Very rude.

CrispEater2000 · 23/05/2025 09:49

When I was a kid the holidays we (brother and I) went on were with our grandparents. All UK based, we did a couple of Butlins trips and a week in a caravan at a theme park, all back in the 90s.

I loved those holidays and I have great memories of them. I wouldn't worry about where you don't go, your kids will love where you do go. It's about the people you're with and the times you have not the place you're at.

Hermiaxx · 23/05/2025 09:50

I went with YABU because your kids are having great holidays and I bet they remember them with joy and happiness when adult 😊

MysteriousUsername · 23/05/2025 09:50

Your “friend” is talking shit. Those are holidays, both the 4 day ones and the ones in your MIL’s caravan.

My kids are adults and I’ve never taken them abroad, only done a few caravan holidays. Not even every year, every 5 years, until recently.
They also did Scouting so went on lots of camps with them - from local weekend camps to week long summer camps. That counts as a holiday to me (and for me, having a quiet /weekend/week!😁)

Shinyandnew1 · 23/05/2025 09:51

I feel dreadful now

Yep, I'd feel dreadful for having such a crap friend!

Yes, your kids have been on holiday.

Thistooshallpass. · 23/05/2025 09:51

Your friend is not very nice . Throwing doubt and snobbery on your holidays . Any break away from your own home doing different things to your normal routine is a holiday . That looks different to everyone ! Some people sleep all holiday by the pool , some people trek through jungles , some people explore museums and galleries , some people party and rave … and you enjoy a caravan holiday . Again - your friend is an idiot .

Doctorkrank · 23/05/2025 09:51

Ignore your friend! If kids are happy and you are happy is the main thing! Maybe in a few years you can look at going to France by train or boat if flying is not an option and you want to try an abroad holiday.

unsevered67 · 23/05/2025 09:53

I had holidays as a child but all in this country. I loved caravan holidays. But my favourite holiday memories are of going to stay with an auntie in a small town near Manchester.
What children get from holidays is very different to what the adults get. Your friend is talking rubbish.

Wingingit11 · 23/05/2025 09:54

Kids like fun and that’s luxe memories to them OP, not fine dining. Feel proud rightly you’re giving them that!

Comtesse · 23/05/2025 09:54

I never had a holiday as a kid. No caravans, camping, nothing, not even staying with relatives - no night away from home (a mixture of being skint plus other neuroses!). I didn’t leave the UK til I was 23. I wasn’t too fussed at the time, and have made up for it since!

From my perspective, your kids have absolutely have had holidays - bear no mind to your mean “friend”.

Unicornmama12 · 23/05/2025 09:56

I was 19 when I went abroad for the first time with a boyfriend. My parents never took us abroad, always on caravan / apartment holidays. We loved them and I find them so nostalgic I can’t wait to take my DC on more caravan holidays.

I hope this is the first time your friend has made a judgey comment, anyone that loves you and knows your child is autistic and doesn’t like planes shouldn’t be shoving their opinions on you. They aren’t true friends x

StMarie4me · 23/05/2025 09:56

She is full of crap.
My 3 boys have been on all sorts of holidays- as kids they went to amazing places with their father and his wealthy partner. Their favourite was always 4 nights in a caravan at Ingoldmells. The freedom! The beach! The fish and chips.
She’s not a friend OP. Tell her to take her judgement elsewhere.

TheKeatingFive · 23/05/2025 09:56

She sounds like an idiot. Not worth worrying about.

Your caravan holidays, on the other hand, sound fab

LlynTegid · 23/05/2025 09:58

Your friend needs to get a dictionary. And improve her English.

museumum · 23/05/2025 09:59

If it's a long weekend it's not really a 'holiday' for an adult, but for a child it is. It's a trip away, sleeping somewhere new, change of scenery, having fun with parents not working...

As a working adult, I would try really hard to extend the trip to a week if I could, but that's for the adults' sake not the children.

trousersearch · 23/05/2025 10:00

Ignore your friend