CHILDREN HAVE NEVER HAD A HOLIDAY! MASSIVE GUILT!

[Una22]

I have recently been speaking to a friend who says my children have never had a proper holiday. They are 4 and 11. Most years we go away for at least 4 nights to a caravan park and she states she feels sorry for them as 4 nights away is not a holiday! My eldest does not want to go on a plane and I would not like to force him (he is autistic) plus he loves going to the caravan parks. I feel dreadful now as I feel now my kids have never had a holiday! We are saving towards a deposit for a house and I just feel that needs to take priority instead of spending loads of money on holiday which my children probably wouldnt enjoy. We also have our Mother in laws caravan that we stay in on a regular basis but again thats not a holiday! Was just looking for some honest opinions I feel like I am failing them. We are always doing various things with them but we just dont have lots of money.

I went on loads of overseas holiday as a kid (which were great) but there was nothing I loved more than a week in my nan's caravan.

Of course they’re holidays; fuck her off. Even if they hadn’t been on a holiday, what business is it of hers, to be commenting? Hardly childhood trauma, not going away!

Don't feel silly, @Una22 - it is absolutely normal to worry about how we are parenting, and it is easy to blow things right out of proportion. I wasn't a very Arts and Crafts kind of mum - they had colouring stuff but didn't use it that often, and I didn't get the painting stuff out often - and I convinced myself that this meant my children would utterly fail at school.

Looking back, I can see I was worried over nothing, but at the time, I lost sleep, thinking about what a dreadful mum I was. Suffice to say, all three did fine at school and university, and are now all working at jobs they enjoy.

So don't worry.

And if you are still worried - here is my best parenting story.

When ds1 was deep in the terrible twos tantrum stage, I had an awful evening, where he screamed non stop for over an hour and a half. By 8am the following morning, he was screaming again, and had been for nearly an hour, and I was broken. I rang dh in tears to tell him how dreadful it all was, and how I couldn't cope any more.

As he was reassuring me and calming me down, ds1 stopped screaming, so I ended the call and went to investigate. I found him at the kitchen bin, where dh had thrown away some uneaten tortilla chips, the night before. He was eating them out of the bin! But that's not the worst part. I looked at him, and I knew that, if I removed him from the bin or the bin from him, the tantrum would restart, full force, and I couldn't face it - so I let him carry on!

When he stopped eating and wandered off, I emptied the bin and found a safer place for it to live, and crossed my fingers that ds1 wouldn't get sick - and he didn't. Not a bother on him.

So - if you haven't let your child eat a delicious bin-snack, to stop a tantrum, you are doing better at this parenting lark than I did!

I was excited as a child going to Wales (I’m in England) seeing road signs in different language. I still feel that buzz now going into a Welsh or Scottish supermarket and seeing different products.
I can remember my dad and neighbours packing both cars up to go away they used to go to butlins us to a caravan park. Me and friend dressed our Sindy dolls in same outfits for journey. My mum used to cook some nights, picnic lunches occasionally fish and chips. Very happy memories.

Well 95% of the worlds popukation have never been on a flight apparently.
Your friend lives in a bubble of privilage, afforded to her mainly by living in a country with a good currency.
A holiday is a break, you can even holiday at home.
Yes, of course it can be wonderful to go on an abroad holiday, waltzing around a resort with your privilage and circumstantial wealth, in fact we do go on these types of holidays. We are very lucky to be able to do so, and also we all like flying on planes and enjoy this type of holiday. It's not any better than any other type of holiday. In fact I would argue it is worse, contributing to carbon emissions and wasteful.
Your holidays sound lovely OP, they sound like wonderful memories that you all enjoy and cherjsh.

Caravan holidays are just perfect for children, never met a child who doesn't love them. You do you op 💕

I hate caravan holidays and I hate all inclusive holidays. But they are still holidays and the world would be a boring place if we all wanted to do the same thing

as for the number of nights - does she have a cut off?

she sounds like one of those people who likes to make others feel bad about themselves as it makes her feel better about herself. Take the weight off and cool the friendship

It's why I hate how staycation is now being used by some people, to mean a holiday in the UK as though that's not a proper holiday.

There were many years when I was a child where our holiday was going to stay with relatives elsewhere in the UK. I considered it a holiday as a child, I'm not sure I can say the same for my parents 😂

your all such kind ladies thank you so much you have all been great! Mum guilt can just take over at times!

I flew last year with my eldest son - it was his first time on a plane and he was so excited! He had to comment on everything we flew over, he even enjoyed the aeroplane toilet!

He's 36.

That's hilarious 😂 What's ds like now? My ds2 was horrendous at 2 but I took him to a cranial osteopath and it stopped. He had a ridge on his head before. But as an adult he's the best natured person you could meet. I cried at times when he was young though.

Sorry for the derail @Una22

Tell your friend to shove it

In my opinion quality time as a family is more important than going away. Young kids don’t care much whether they are at home or away and very young ones often prefer to be at home anyway.

Your friend is not a friend. Your holidays sound lovely

What is your "friend" trying to achieve by saying this to you. Trying to make you feel bad, boasting about how much money she has... either way a foreign holiday doesnt make a childhood. Every family is different. We've been abroad several times but my son was never as excited as when we got a new tent and went on holidays in the back yard 🤣.

I don’t go away for long holidays. We do several 3/4 night breaks away. Occasionally 7 days. City breaks, country breaks both home and abroad. We still feel like we’ve had a holiday too. Your friend is talking shit. Not everyone likes long winded long distance trips

Whatever works for you and your family.

21% of people on here agree with the friend. Despicable in my mind. Caravan holidays to kids are decent holidays and fun. They'll form happy memories from them.
The OP is doing the best and the friend is just cruel.

@LushLemonTart - he outgrew the tantrum stage fairly quickly, and now he is married with a toddler dd and newborn twin dds, so he has done OK in life.

You’re being ridiculous. A holiday is a trip away from home for pleasure. It doesn’t have to be abroad or for a certain length of time. Of course your kids have had holidays.

A friend of mine was telling me that as a child her parents took her on loads of expensive foreign holidays. She told me she barely remembers any of them except the ones she went on to a caravan park as those times were amazing and a great adventure

Caravan holidays are excellent! This year we are going to an European country and for a uk caravan holiday. My dc love the caravan trip as much, if not more than the other trips. They love the site and call it a special little holiday world!
Don’t listen to your miserable friend and enjoy your lovely caravan holiday .

Your friend is horrible - and no friend. I bet your kids have a lovely time on a caravan park, they usually do. Pay no attention to her.

That's good

I hate that term too.

Your holiday OP sounds just like mine as a kid. We never had a foreign holiday and always went for a week never a fortnight.

I loved them and always looked forward to them. Never felt any loss or sorrow about missing "2 weeks in the sun".

Don't give yourself any grief over it.