CHILDREN HAVE NEVER HAD A HOLIDAY! MASSIVE GUILT!

[Una22]

I have recently been speaking to a friend who says my children have never had a proper holiday. They are 4 and 11. Most years we go away for at least 4 nights to a caravan park and she states she feels sorry for them as 4 nights away is not a holiday! My eldest does not want to go on a plane and I would not like to force him (he is autistic) plus he loves going to the caravan parks. I feel dreadful now as I feel now my kids have never had a holiday! We are saving towards a deposit for a house and I just feel that needs to take priority instead of spending loads of money on holiday which my children probably wouldnt enjoy. We also have our Mother in laws caravan that we stay in on a regular basis but again thats not a holiday! Was just looking for some honest opinions I feel like I am failing them. We are always doing various things with them but we just dont have lots of money.

Your friend is talking crap. A holiday is exactly that, a few nights away somewhere, whether it’s Blackpool or Bali, it’s still a holiday. The main thing is, do your kids enjoy it? Because that’s what’s most important.

Your friend is being an idiot. Of course a caravan break is a holiday.

Look for nicer, less judgy friends OP.

Going to a caravan park is a holiday, and one it seems your family enjoy! I would personally feel more guilty about forcing my children to go on a holiday they didn't want and you knew they wouldnt enjoy just because you felt you should.

I put YANBU as in its fine, your kids are fine, caravan parks are holidays and are fine, saving for a house is a great priority and will benefit them more that any holiday. Your friend is an iddot.

I’ve been to many places as a kid & adult but caravan holidays as a child will always be my favourite. My 3 love them too. Please don’t feel guilty.

I think 4 night in a caravan park is a holiday.

I don't get why the mother in laws caravan is not a holiday either.

I'm sure there was some actual research that said there was no benefit in longer holidays. People felt as refreshed after a long weekend

Ignore her, your children definitely have holidays and holidays they clearly enjoy. She is just being a snob.

So they have had holidays but your snobby acquaintance says it’s not up to her standards ?

love camping myself but I wouldn’t be so rude as to call a flying holiday “not a proper holiday “

So they have had holidays and they love them. That's great. Ignore the friend.

Four nights is ideal for a holiday. Weekend before to pack and get ready with no stress, holiday, then weekend after to unpack etc with no stress.

We went on loads of holidays abroad when I was a kid but my best holiday was to a caravan. Brilliant fun, loads of time outdoors, playing cards in the evening. Holidays don’t need to be abroad or in some fancy hotel, they are what you make them, ignore your friend

YABU to give so much weight to some bitchy, judgy ‘friend’ giving her opinion.
Just do what is right for your family.

She needs to book her head, your holidays are fine.

I meant boil!!

Why does your friend think the caravan trips are not holidays?

Your ‘friend’ is talking snobbish crap. By her logic I didn’t have a holiday until I was an adult and could pay for it myself. And yet I remember going to a seaside holiday home many times in my childhood and having a lovely time. Some of my happiest memories! It says far more about your friend than you that she thinks this.

I had lovely holidays at my Nan's caravan as a kid. Ignore your friend.

Some people have weird, uninterrogated internal ‘rules’ about holidays they think everyone else agrees with. Some people think I’ve never in my 52 years been on a ‘holiday’, because I have never gone to an AI resort (because it’s my idea of hell). The fact we regularly rent houses in France or Italy with friends, go to Rome, Madrid, Berlin, Budapest, NY etc somehow don’t ‘count’. Apparently ‘city breaks’ are something completely different to ‘holidays’.

Don’t take the slightest notice.

My younger dc haven't been further than Scotland.. I feel no bloody guilt.. We have great trips!!
Ask your mate what your budget is and thank her for paying for a cruise/safari /all inclusive for you all next year...

I have recently been speaking to a friend...

Why does this weird Mumsnet definition of "friend" persist?

You have been speaking to some nasty, snide person who wants to undermine you and make you anxious. Friends are pretty rare things, and this isn't one of yours.

I don’t understand the motives of someone who would say that your holidays with your children are not “proper” holidays but I don’t believe they are good or kind motives.
The question isn’t whether your children have had proper holidays (and they have btw); the question is why does this person purposefully want to make you feel bad?

You are doing absolutely great for your children- of course they are having holidays! You are being an excellent parent in not forcing your autistic son to go on a plane if he doesn’t want to.
In any case, what is wrong with a caravan park? My children had some fantastic holidays in caravan parks( yes, of four nights or even less sometimes!) Your friend is being very unkind, her priorities may be different to yours and that's fine, but you are one hundred percent not failing your kids. Do not feel guilty in the slightest and in addition, you are saving for a house deposit which is an excellent priority.

Your children have had loads of holidays!

Happy holidays.

Your friend is talking out their arse.

You are giving your children holidays - 4 days away is definitely a holiday. It’s not like you’ve been sat at home, or gone away for one night. They’re having a number of days away, enjoying a holiday park and are not sat at home.

You've found a good balance - sensibly you’re saving up a house deposit, but also making room for the children to have a holiday.

As a child my first holiday was when I was 10 years old, and that was with friends of the family. I didn’t go on holiday with my mum until I was about 12.

Holiday’s are a luxury and not a given right. Families don’t have to “go on holiday”, day trips, spending time outdoors etc is just as good. If you can’t afford to go away, there’s normally a free or cheaper alternative locally.

Cut that non friend loose asap.
She's no friend to you.

No further discussion about your business.

No child "needs" a foreign holiday.

I have plenty of money but didn't take my children abroad for years.
Holidays, sun, very young children, never looked like a holiday to me, just stress.

I didn't like planes, hot sun etc.
We have a holiday home on the coast that we used for years instead.

My children have survived this "trauma"🙄 very successfully and travelled regularly in their teens and twenties.

She's nasty.