My colleague gives me the rage!

[DaisyToo]

We have a new member of staff who has been with us for nearly 7 months and I find she gives me the rage! 😂 The poor woman has done nothing to me but she has quirks / habits that really grate me. I have worked with horrible people in the past but i didn't feel like this!
It's like she's the human equivalent to when you can't stand loud chewing. It gives you the rage in a complete irrational way! 😂

Has anyone worked with anyone like that?!

I also do some casual work with her sometimes. It's a wonder I've got eyeballs because all I do is roll them at her utterances.. I don't let her see this and I'm mostly polite.

she doesn't talk to me ever, no small talk, how's your sick dog / holiday etc nothing but only comes to me to ask where I'm up to with work. Like wtf?! Most of my work doesn't even have anything to do with her!

Make this a game too. When she does this ignore the query and say 'oh, Petunia, are you feeling better, you didn't seem well the other day? What are you planning this weekend? How's your dog / do you have a dog, aren't they lovely?' Make her engage in personal conversation for as long as you can. If she says 'I was just after X' say 'oh, did Boss's name ask you to do that?'

It is poor performance to inadequately deal with queries. It is poor performance not to liaise with other departments when needed.

If the manager is her mother, you are well and truly stuffed. The picking the easy things and only taking not giving (so to speak) are concrete things to raise, but I think you will get nowhere.

Worked in a kitchen with a lad who snorked his snot backwards and wiped his nose with his hand/sleeve, never once saw him wash. He was a chef. I never ate there.

Eeerr! Rather a sniffer upper than a snot blower who leaves dirty tissues anywhere and never washes their hands! The bar is very low, I know🙄

YES! Someone started in our team about 2 years ago (annoyingly, the interviews were when I was on holiday) and I despise her. She made me savage. Sometimes just seeing her made me furious and, at times, I had to step away as ai simply couldn't bear her. It was hard to articulate why at first - she just really grated on me. Everyone thought I was mad! I then started to notice what a terrible team player she was and how power hungry she was. Over time, everyone else in the team has come to realise how annoying and narcissistic she is, which has made me so happy! I've moved to a different role and one of the reasons was to get away from her... just thinking about her is making me ragey!!!

Yes, my colleague is very annoying. It got so bad that I had to tell her about herself about a week ago and now we no longer communicate unless it's strictly business (which hasn't been much). I have to admit it's been a relief not to have to deal with her quirks for the past week. 😂

I worked with someone like that re getting through work quicker than me, as the boss brought up, I came across an email she’d sent out in response to a query, we used to have pre written ones and just fill in blanks, they weren’t filled in, she was just picking up the email and sending it out as was, didn’t matter who sent it as we didn’t put names on, that was the day I had my eyes opened so to speak, and I let her know I was onto her. She stopped looking so smug around the office.

And there you have it, in a nutshell. She’s strategically placed to get the gossip. If you think she’s listening in, give her something to listen to, something that can be proven factually incorrect that she can pass on, she will stop doing it.
either that or she is listening in as she knows she got the job through nepotism which is a huge bugbear of mine. She knows it and knows others know it!

The first one I can see where you’re going with that. The third one, you could maybe argue it, at a stretch, but I’m not convinced.

Literally no idea about the other two 🤷‍♀️

We don't really gossip. It could be any mundane convo you're having about your life or even about work. It's an open plan office and if you are within listening distance you can naturally hear ppls conversations. Theres no need to turn your head to listen.

Her desk is close enough to hear conversations if I am talking louder across the office but not if I am having a more private chat to my colleague next to me. I see her staring listening in. She knows she shouldn't be doing it as she quickly turns her head away if I look at her. It's so fucking rude. I hate it when ppl are nosey.

What's wrong with bananas?

This thread has actually given me some food for thought.

As a person, she's okay, although her nosiness irritates me massively and the checking up on my work is a bug bear too.

The bigger issue I am unhappy about is the nepotism at play. Her mum has given alot of our work to her and me and my other colleague have been left with the donkey work. She has been trained up on her mum's role and also additional senior responsibilities that her mum is involved in. She is supposed to be part of our team but seems to have taken ownership of the nicer parts and left the shitty bits for us and seems to be doing work with her mum mainly. Stuff we have never been able to be involved in..We suspect that she is being trained to step into her mum's role when she retires in 4-5 years or so.

So yeah, she actually hasn't done anything horrible to me and she's nice enough but it's what's happening that is making me dislike her.

I used to work with someone who drove me crackers. She was good at her job and the senior guys loved her but she would talk to you as though you were a child (I was younger than her but slightly senior).

Once a client came in for a meeting. He was very early so I showed him to an empty office so he could catch up on emails etc, checked whether he needed anything (he didn’t). All good. Then Sandra saw him and said “Well, have you offered him a drink?!?” in aghasted tones. After I said yes, she made a point of bustling over to him to check. Honestly, it was weird.

Is it a family business?

No it's a public sector org

As a person, she's okay, although her nosiness irritates me massively and the checking up on my work is a bug bear too.
The bigger issue I am unhappy about is the nepotism at play. Her mum has given alot of our work to her and me and my other colleague have been left with the donkey work.

Ok so she’s not nosey because as you say, you’re having a conversation that can be heard by anyone in close proximity anyway and so the fact she looks at you is irrelevant.

You are jealous of her that she is getting what you believe to be an easier ride because of her mum.

That’s not her issue, that’s an issue of the mum (who I assume is your manager).

You need to speak to your manager and explain how unfair it is.

She sounds shy/socially awkward and lacking in confidence. And unaware of how to initiate conversation.
Sometimes i think I've been like her . I don't think I am her though!

d/Deaf?

I work with someone who, when I asked her name, told me it was "Mrs Beauchamp" like we're in the 1950s. She narrates what she is doing ("I'm just going to file these papers and then have a cup of tea. And maybe a biscuit!") and you can guarantee within five minutes of any conversation starting she will bring up her children. And she laughs at her own "jokes".

I went to uni with someone like this for years. She has significant mh issues bless her, but is the instagram vs reality type of person. I cringe following her but can’t help it 😂😂! She told us all once in a lecture, that you have to teach every lesson as if Ofsted were watching! Let me tell you if that happened I would be dead by now!

I'm assuming that she only gets away with just doing the easy jobs and speaking to colleagues as though she is in charge by asking about their progress with their work because she is managed by her mother.

Her colleagues will feel inhibited from speaking to their manager about her because they would be criticising her own daughter.

when dealing with queries, she'll only do the "easy" ones as she doesn't want to / won't speak to / mither other colleagues/ departments to resolve the issue. We do them instead.

Have a staff meeting, point out that there isn't a fair distribution of difficult queries currently and work out a way of allocating all queries on the basis that the person allocated has to deal with whatever comes their way and can't slide out of the difficult ones.

No idea why that font came out like that, I've tried editing and it makes no difference!

OP, when she asks where you're up to with work, do you ask her why she needs to know?