My colleague gives me the rage!

[DaisyToo]

We have a new member of staff who has been with us for nearly 7 months and I find she gives me the rage! 😂 The poor woman has done nothing to me but she has quirks / habits that really grate me. I have worked with horrible people in the past but i didn't feel like this!
It's like she's the human equivalent to when you can't stand loud chewing. It gives you the rage in a complete irrational way! 😂

Has anyone worked with anyone like that?!

Well it sounds like you’re annoyed because of the Nepotism at play - which would annoy most people to be fair.

I have a colleague who cracks knuckles constantly. It drives me bananas

The things you have listed are not ‘quirks’: they are all things that YANBU to get annoyed about. You say she’s ‘done nothing to me’ but she has, directly, eg she’s seeking status updates on your work and you’re picking up tasks she should do

Sounds like she's socially awkward. She's possibly listening to your conversations to see if she can relate and join in? Maybe she'll improve as time goes on.

These aren’t quirks and habits. This is poor performance.

I know exactly what you mean.

for me it’s those who talk the talk to management and yet get away with doing fuck all work beyond what they deem themselves important to do.

I silently rage because it doesn’t affect me but in our case slowly the whole team is getting annoyed with it and we have a change of management very imminently so now I’m intrigued to what will happen as new management are less easily swayed from what I’ve observed!

Headphones, I can’t survive an open office without headphones..

I have a colleague who comes overly close and talks at me for ages. If they bother to ask a question I can see they are just waiting for their opportunity to speak next. It’s incredibly draining.

Get counselling. Let people be and get over the fact that she is shy and your are intimidating because you hate her for being there.

How is your work distributed? I'm wondering how she manages to pick and choose only the easy queries to deal with. That must be so annoying.

A raccoon on meth

🤣🤣

You're projecting negative traits onto her.

It's possible she is wanting to join in but nervous, or feels stressed, or is finding the conversations disruptive. Maybe the way you look at her, playing your game, is intimidating.

It's easy and quite human to project negatives onto others, but maybe you could try to just see her as a person with good and bad, no different to you.

My new(ish) colleague drives me insane because she will not stop talking. If she is working she talks away to herself about what she's doing with an occasional "just ignore me, I'm talking to myself here" thrown out to the rest of us. If anyone asks a question she can not resist trying to answer it even if it is directed at someone else and she has no clue what the answer is. I've had loads to do this week and have lost count of the number of times she has asked if I'm ok because I seem quiet. I'm just trying to work! It's so hard to focus. She doesn't work on Fridays. I bloody love Fridays!

I don't think I need counselling for this! 😂 I am shy too, have social anxiety and I don't talk to her at all apart from the usual work stuff if needed so don't know how I would be intimidating!
When she first started, I went above and beyond to make her feel welcome, part of the group as I know what it's like to be the shy and quiet one. However with her behaviour, I don't think she has helped herself and I have backed off with my efforts of trying to include her and kept it just work stuff. This is nothing to do with being shy. I am the same so know exactly what she might be going through.

A colleague chews noisily
it’s always sardines or mackerel and rice so very smelly
then leaves the unwashed dish next to her for the whole afternoon, in a very small office

Luckily I only use that office once a week. She’s worked there for 24 years and me less than four years so can’t say anything 😅

Oh massive dripfeed.

Could have hearing issues, so perhaps a disability. Do you speak to her though? Do you make effort with her?

Odd, annoying especially for someone so new… wow. Definitely mean girls behaviour. You clearly don’t like her up and making excuses. If she’s acting like your manager then why not say something to her instead of slagging her off. Bullying quite frankly.

I think your colleague has some social awkwardness. She wants to be involved so listens in but doesn't know what to add to join in. She wants to be helpful but doesn't want to tread on toes by taking jobs away when it's busy shed rather someone told her what she could do to help. She doesn't want to speak to other departments that she doesn't know well.

I say all this because I have been like this at work and it feels awful. It's like being stuck in concrete unable to speak sometimes.

It helped when I made a conscious effort to be better at these things but I still found it very hard.

I can see why you're annoyed but also see how she might be feeling too.

I don’t think you’re as nice as you think you are. Kind of back tracking now. Why did you not mention it was your managers daughter at the start of the thread?

No. Because I am an adult. Before anyone says-I am also NT. ND people obviously sometimes need different strategies in circumstances like this.

Yeah, this.

You don’t sound very nice, OP. I mean, we all get annoyed by other people at work and elsewhere. I’d not take it to online forum though to pick apart that person’s personality and, possibly, disabilities that mean they don’t ‘fit in’ socially 🫩

It's not poor performance to turn your head so that you can hear somebody in your better ear, especially when there's background noise from an open plan environment.

It's not poor performance to find talking to others on the phone or in person where they have noise, strong accents or an inability to stay still so you can hear them and lipread a bit, difficult.

It's not poor performance to not want to pursue conversations about sick cats with somebody who is already deliberately screwing with you when you try to hear them in a work context.

It's not poor performance to offer help by email, especially if you can't hear the person who has already been messing with your head due to your disability/condition wittering on about being busy.

I get the feeling your colleague cant win either way. So you don’t do small talk but she’s supposed to. She’s not even allowed to look in your direction. She’s ’listening in’ in a public office.

Is you office quite cliquey?

Also stop fixating on her so much, reading your further posts you are being a bit weird.