Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish Tess had just gone with Angel

229 replies

WallaceinAnderland · 21/05/2025 23:50

This is probably a popular and well discussed opinion but it just makes me so sad every time. She didn't have to kill Alec, she was legally married to Angel. She could have just walked away.

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 22/05/2025 10:25

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:23

because it's often discussed after the TV adaptation has been aired.

More digging than Gabriel Oak.

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PlutoCat · 22/05/2025 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh stop it.

NewGoldFox · 22/05/2025 10:27

Missey85 · 22/05/2025 05:26

So post it in the book/reading forum 🙁

But then how will they sneer at people mistaking it for television?

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:32

Poopeepoopee · 22/05/2025 08:22

why? It's a novel. Tess of The d'Urbervilles.

A great read. I might re-visit.

Patronising much.

of course it is, but it's mst often discussed on here after yet another Tv adaptation screening

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:33

PlutoCat · 22/05/2025 08:52

I doubt @Amelie2025 will be back.
Angel got together with Liza-Lu, which is also a bit off. Though it was what Tess wanted. I wonder how that worked out.

Why would you say that??

crumblingschools · 22/05/2025 10:35

@Amelie2025 but people are discussing the story so if it needs to go somewhere else (which it doesn’t) would make more sense to have it in the book section not tv

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:36

WhereAreTheWildThingsNow · 22/05/2025 08:57

Also I ‘what are they teaching in schools these days?’ If people think Thomas Hardy was a TV scriptwriter.

FWIW Angel was far worse than Alec. Alec was many things but not a hypocrite.

I must have missed the post where someone said he was a TV Scriptwriter.

i don't know what they're 'teaching in schools these days' given I probably read it 40 years ago.

Redpeach · 22/05/2025 10:37

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:24

Well you know, threads about real people not book/TV/show characters.

🙄🙇🏻‍♀️

Are people allowed to post about religion in aibu?

crumblingschools · 22/05/2025 10:38

@Amelie2025 you are the one who mentioned tv

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:38

crumblingschools · 22/05/2025 10:35

@Amelie2025 but people are discussing the story so if it needs to go somewhere else (which it doesn’t) would make more sense to have it in the book section not tv

If they want to discuss the book, if they want to discuss on if the screen adaptations. The TV section makes more sense. Either way it doesn't need to be in AIBU.

RaininSummer · 22/05/2025 10:38

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 00:20

This nonsense should be posted in the TV section.

How funny and embarrassing.

PlutoCat · 22/05/2025 10:40

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:33

Why would you say that??

I guess I wasn't accounting for your brass neck!

Look, this was a lovely thread, stop ruining it for everyone.

Fyreheart · 22/05/2025 10:40

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 22/05/2025 10:12

Get a grip. Dozens of us got the reference immediately. People post all the time about 'influencers' and the like and I just scroll past because it's of no interest. I don't post repeatedly telling them they're rude for talking about something I know nothing about. What would be the point of that?

I dont need a grip - thanks for your concern.

Maybe "dozens of you got the reference" well done you! The Angel I thought of instantly was Buffy / Angel.

I did Far from the Madding Crowd at school and found it duller than dishwater.
I also don't care about 'influencers', so if someone makes the title clear enough I also scroll past.

Edit: I don't care that its in AIBU, as its a catch all

Fyreheart · 22/05/2025 10:43

ThatCyanCat · 22/05/2025 09:57

If you don't recognise the names in the OP, you can just assume it's about something you haven't read or seen, and click on something else. It's not an obscure, little-known story and enough people recognised it for us to have a conversation.

Like others have said some of us thought it was Angel from Buffy, and were trying to work out who Tess was.

PlutoCat · 22/05/2025 10:43

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:23

because it's often discussed after the TV adaptation has been aired.

The last TV adaptation was 2008.

Redpeach · 22/05/2025 10:44

Amelie2025 · 22/05/2025 10:38

If they want to discuss the book, if they want to discuss on if the screen adaptations. The TV section makes more sense. Either way it doesn't need to be in AIBU.

But why not? Why does it matter?

WeegieGrannie · 22/05/2025 10:47

OneForTheRoadThen · 22/05/2025 02:34

I studied this for GCSE back in the day, put me off Hardy for life.

Sadly, same here after having it forced upon me for Scottish Higher.

crumblingschools · 22/05/2025 10:49

I think AIBU is the right place because @Amelie2025 YABU

Littledidsheknow · 22/05/2025 10:50

I’m enjoying this little reminder of a book I read (and was infuriated by) years ago. Anything goes in AIBU.
Can those who don’t like it move along to the discussions of missing wedding invites and narc MILs? I’m sure you’ll be happier there.

Yes OP, I remember thinking “You didn’t have to do that!” about the murder.
I also can’t forget all the walking. Huge long walks she did in inadequate shoes, no decent paths and during the night!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 22/05/2025 10:52

This thread is giving me flashbacks to the absolute pasting I got after starting this thread. Ten years ago! Still haven't found anything better to do with my time. Ahem.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2441583-Not-to-tell-my-daughter-that-her-father-isnt-my-husband-but-my-gay-best-friend?

Leafy3 · 22/05/2025 10:53

I see the Forum Police are here - charge: putting others at risk of catching culture!

MissFancyDay · 22/05/2025 10:53

WallaceinAnderland · 21/05/2025 23:50

This is probably a popular and well discussed opinion but it just makes me so sad every time. She didn't have to kill Alec, she was legally married to Angel. She could have just walked away.

She killed Alec because she considered him her rightful husband as they had slept together first, but she loved Angel. She knew she would die, it was the only way out for her. Very sad.

Angel was named so as he came from a religious family.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 22/05/2025 10:53

I think the assumption that people must be talking about a TV programme says more about the cultural references of those making the assumptions than it does about the OP.

As for AIBU being limited to thread about "real people", why exactly? Most threads about "real people" could easily fit into one of the other boards. AIBU is a general thread where posters can ask if they are being unreasonable about any topic. It might relate to a real life situation. It might relate to a political, religious or ethical debate. It might relate to fictional situation in literature, film or television etc.

I'm not sure why some people feel entitled to tell others what they can and can't post. That's for MNHQ to determine, rather than the self-appointed thread police.

SerafinasGoose · 22/05/2025 10:54

In his own way, Angel's behaviour toward Tess is just as reprehensible as Alec's.
She killed Alec because - well, it's Thomas Hardy!

But thinking this throug in more detail: f you look into the contemporary background influences on this novel, it's full of materialistic, physical elements of 'love' - materiality as represented by Alec and his phony 'conversion' to try to atone for his sin, and the old neo-platonist idea of sublimation of the sexual impulse into higher cultural ends. This is symbolised by Angel Clare - note the significance of the names, the first one being self-explanatory, the second meaning 'light'. A comparative example is the last sublimation of Dante in 'Paradiso', when he quite literally sees the light in his vision of the Virgin Mary when Beatrice returns to the empyrean. Tess's ecstatic response when Angel plays the harp hints toward this idea - at this point the relationship remains unconsummated, which adds to the idea of this 'pure' sublimation (hence the subtitle is a 'pure woman', to which the Victorian audience took gratuitous offence as Tess wasn't sexually 'innocent'.

Tess is a deeply philosophical novel and Hardy was interested in contemporary philosophy. This novel is bound up with his ideas of immanent will and a force governing human interaction that is beyond our control. He wasn't an idealist, but there's a good bit of transcendentalism in there as well, I think. All very interesting in accordance with his alleged atheism and responses to issues of spiritual 'reality', or some realm beyond material surfaces.

I think this is why Alec and Angel both have to be there, performing their respective and distinct roles in the novel which represent both these possibilities. It's why Alec has to die, and it's also why Hardy doesn't let Angel off the hook for his cruelty.

Wonderful thread: thanks for posting!