Something strange about mother in law

[ThatSparklyPearlShark]

Hi everyone,

I had no idea who to voice this to so thought this would be the best option. Basically myself and my partner have been together for one year next week. I’m 27 and he’s 40 and we have a wonderful relationship. He is very close to his mother she’s 72. All of his family adore his mother and constantly say how lovely she is. I agree she is nice but a couple of things have happened that have made me feel a little uneasy and I want to know if I’m overreacting.

for example the weekend just gone she came to stay with us. We treated her all weekend to meals shopping etc and she seemed to have a great time. On Sunday she said she’d planned to leave at 4pm. On Sunday morning I suggested we go to the coffee shop for some breakfast at 10:30 am , anyway so myself and my partner were getting ready and it must’ve been about 10:25 when I got to the kitchen ( we live in a bungalow) and just before I got to the kitchen I heard her say ‘ for f sake hurry the f up all f’ing weekend of waiting around’ in a really annoyed and different voice - she usually sounds really sweet and has a light voice but this was deep and snappy. I came through to the kitchen and she instantly switched to her ‘sweet’ voice. I was just a bit startled ? Like wth ! She wasn’t waiting around at all we were so attentive to her all weekend and did everything she wanted there was no waiting around.

another thing she often does is go on and on about how thin and beautiful her daughter is in front of me when my partners not around . She’ll say things like (insert daughter’s name) ’ is so skinny anything looks good on her because she has that kind of figure. She mentions how beautiful and thin her daughter is every time without fail. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to bother me if it was mentioned once but it’s EVERY SINGLE TIME we see her it’s so strange.

I just feel a bit uneasy around her . I haven’t voiced this to my partner as I don’t want to upset him as he loves his mum so much. I don’t plan on telling him either I just wanted to voice my experience.

am I overeacting ? Or is she just a normal mother in law?

thanks

xx

That’s such a strange reaction to a woman in her late twenties going out with a man who is older. Did you get 27 mixed up with 17 or something? As you approach your 30s, a 13 year age gap really isn’t that big. OP is not that young, she’s able to make her own decisions I am sure.

Too sweet to be wholesome.
You are early in the relationship so you can just be distant with her from the get go. Let your boyfriend see her without you.

She sounds a bit like Gollum / Smeagle.....maybe that can be your nickname for her from now on.

The deep sweary voice is wierd. Do her eyes roll back in her head at the same time?

I'm finding it hard not to picture the chucky doll.

Just roll your eyes when you turn away and don’t let it bother you. These things are not worth a row or wasting energy trying to work out why she does them.

The OP suggested it was quite a dramatic shift in her demeanour and there’s much more to her feeling uneasy than a few comments. I’m simply saying that it sounds like her feelings about her being “off” (and then evidenced by catching her acting like almost like an entirely different personality when her son isn’t around) is probably correct as she’s suggesting there’s more to it. And your boyfriend’s mother insinuating about you being a certain weight every time you meet (which many of us had assumed is why she’s constantly comparing OP to her thinner daughter) would upset many people?

Does he know his mother swears like that? Probably not! We all feel like talking like that but I think it’s odd to actually say the words out loud when she was a guest in your home and was swearing about you! I wouldn’t trust her personally but I wouldn’t say anything. Just be aware she could turn!

I’m slim I’ve never had an issue with my weight at all ! I’m not sure if she’s trying to show off about her daughter . I would say her daughter and me are around the same size. I think the queen b thing may be right 💕

I have a similar age gap. When we met over two decades ago I was 30 and he was 43.

Never realised it was creepy 😄

I agree with you , I only have to see her once every couple of months. She just threw me off a bit 💕😂

Everyone said how lovely my xmil was.
She is a twisted, cold-hearted bitch.
Tears on tap to manipulate exOH.
When her husband died I knew what was coming.
As I moved out, she moved in.

Yes I completely agree with you ! I couldn’t imagine having an out loud moan as a guest in someone else’s house ! 😅X

I dunno, I think it’s kind of normal to be on your best behaviour when you’re around people and to be a bit more disparaging when you think no one is around.

I’m sweetness and light in front of my in-laws but fuck me you should hear what I say behind their back. Human nature.

She obviously thinks the sun shines out of her daughter’s ass, so I wouldn’t even attempt to compete with her.

Yes in her room I made a guest tray for her with snacks my partner said she liked, particular granola bars, fruit snacks etc. We also say she should get up as early as she likes and help herself to anything in the kitchen ! 🌷

Sometimes odd, out of character behaviour can be an early sign of dementia, possibly something to keep in mind.

Weird woman. It also shouldn’t matter if you were larger as this would just show how nasty she is. My exes Nan did this to me. I was a size 8 and she started talking about how I was bigger than his sisters. I wasn’t. But she was talking as if a wasn’t in the room. Then tried to give me her size 22 jumpers, saying they would fit me 😂 no idea what her problem was. I hate to be that person, but could she be jealous of how you look? I don’t think this is an unreasonable question. May not like you if you’re prettier than his perfect sisters.

Excellent point.

Brilliant riposte!

My husband was 43 when I was 27.....
Anyway, clearly having watched too many horror films I vote that the MIL is possessed and only an adventure with the local priest and a rare artifact/book will save you!

Don't be absurd. That's like saying she's just an average woman. Women who happen to have sons don't automatically become evil. My mum only had daughters and she was just like this.

I feel really sorry for your DH OP. I wonder if she has always bullied him. I would be careful with her. Don't tell her anything personal as she's likely to use it against you.

IN MY EXPERIENCE,this is what mother in laws are like.

don’t tell people they’re absurd for speaking their point of view

My sister in law is like this too. It’s so deeply psychotic

I would have walked in and said sorry I didn't hear you properly, what was it you was saying ?

If she said nothing my reply would be
Oh i heard a deep voice which sounded just like the Excercist.
But I can be childish despite my age 😀

She was hungry. You said 10.30 and she was waiting. Maybe she has breakfast at 8am. She was hangry. Nothing unusual there she was just venting under her breath , no maliciousness

She's proud of her beautiful daughter ....

You sound a bit jealous of your partner's close relationship and a little immature

Oh "That's nice" is your go to response.

Try letting her comments go over your head, some women are obsessive about weight, she is one of them, I'd just nod and smile.

Don't invite her for a weekend again.