To feel parents should not move their crying child round the cabin to disturb everyone?

[Tiredannoyedflyer]

I have just flown business on a 9 hour flight, with the intention of getting sleep before arriving.

I purposely chose seats away from the bassinets and towards the back of the cabin as I thought this would be quieter. As it was near the emergency exit; all this actually meant was that every parent with a crying baby or child took them to this area, so I actually got precisely zero sleep! Each seat has its own doors but those standing can look directly down into it so I had a stream of parents with children not only standing by my bed whilst I’m trying to sleep, but also looking down into my sleeping area which I find extremely intrusive.

I am not suggesting those with children shouldn’t fly business, just that they should be more considerate to those seated away from the bassinet seats.

AIBU to feel that parents should just stay in their seat with their child who is crying, sometimes a baby, sometimes a toddler, rather than spread the misery to absolutely everyone in the cabin, rather than those unlucky enough to be sitting near them on takeoff.

When the crying child is taken to stand next to my seat, would I be unreasonable to ask them to move as it’s disturbing me?

You are in a tiny box in the sky - there is honestly not much a parent can do if their baby cries - they can’t exactly take it outside and there isn’t really anywhere away from people.

last year I flew 11 hours in business class and a baby screamed the entire journey from take off to landing. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I was so groggy by the time I got home. But ultimately what could they do? I am sure the mum was stressed about it but it’s the luck of the draw.

More likely they are walkimg around with the.baby to try and settle them.

Not take them until they are old enough not to scream and disturb others.

They weren’t making an effort to stop the disturbance, they just had to sit down because of the seat belt sign.

You, as an adult, have the control not to get drunk. A child does not have the control to be quiet.

And you would likely have been kicked off or received a flight ban for getting ‘rolling drunk’ to the point you were causing a disturbance, so that’s not a comparison.

Wow I’m stunned 😧 You can tell I’m not a massive flyer 🤣
I always imagined business class full of business people, on business, doing business things. Bit like the adverts 🤦‍♀️

Yes. Why wouldn’t they? It is extra money for the airlines, children under 2 don’t take up a seat and they can charge for them.

I didn’t use the bassinet with my 11 mo when we flew, but it was an option.

I’m glad we were in Business Class. It was one of those pod things and it DS1 at the time was starting to walk so it gave him a bit of space to move about without us disturbing anyone, otherwise I would probably have had to walk with him so he wouldn’t get squirmy.

Before anyone asks why would I take him on a long haul flight, my family is in the States, sister graduated from college before Christmas and her and our father hadn’t met DS1 yet nor could they travel to the UK to see us, especially with our father not being able to fly for health reasons.

No, Mum could have been shitty about it - but no, she took control and controlled her child in whatever way she needed in order not to disturb others.

It’s the absolute shiteness of other parents believing their children come before absolutely everyone else that I can’t abide.

Sit down; control your child and be a responsible reasonable adult (if the child is old enough to understand, obviously)

Gracious. Tell me you’re not a parent without telling me you’re not a parent. How ridiculous. You’ve had bad luck. You are not entitled to quiet or distance from children on a flight. You must co-exist with shitty kids sometimes. I’d let this go and accept it.

@Tiredannoyedflyer It’s the absolute shiteness of other parents believing their children come before absolutely everyone else that I can’t abide.

Micky Flanagan summed it up perfectly. “We don’t think you’re cool, liberal parents, we think you’re cunt lazy parents.” Ouch!

I think you have a combination of entitlement and resentment fuelling attitudes that there is no responsibility for the impact of your behaviour on others.

Both flights I mention had children who cried and were managed well with calm parenting and children who cried and those parents just didn't care. The difference is obvious. I felt sorry for the parents attempting to calm their baby. The woman who looked bored by her child and completely oblivious to the impact, including loud arguments with her husband over who should hold him...nah

I'm a parent. I still think shitty hopeless parenting needs calling out. I had a child. My choice. Recognise that not everyone shares my choice or should listen to the noise from it

Sorry OP, but this one's on you! You wasted £150 on a poor seat choice. Never pick a seat near the toilet intersections - people will always congregate in those areas. Even if they are queuing perfectly silently, it still an uncomfortable feeling of privacy violation having them stand over you. Next time pick a window seat in the middle of business class.

Sympathies OP. I’ve been allocated seats on the bassinet row on a long haul flight. It was a nightmare, I was ready to kill by the time we landed. To have the same issues in business class when you’ve chosen to sit away from babies would be the pits.

I fly a good amount, not so frequently that it would weekly disrupt my sleep, so caveat for people who fly weekly or more (that's another convo one should invest in sleep medication to get through it).

However, I have learned that flying is generally miserable and I assume I won't sleep, rest, get quality work done while in the air. So, I either have a small, easy job to work on from my laptop, read a book, knit or I binge some show. If it's on the way home, I'm more likely to have a drink and binge movies. I have given up on trying to sleep on planes for the last 20 years.

It's your expectations, OP, that made me click YABU. I'm sure it was frustrating af to deal with that when you were tying to sleep, but trying to sleep w/out earplugs or meds was your mistake. Babies aren't being bad, parents walking them are trying their best to lessen their cries.

Impossible when you live overseas and you want to go home, with your children to visit family.

I’ve taken my (now fully grown adults) in business class, which was paid for by my DH’s employer at the time, home to visit family and I’m sure they weren’t perfectly behaved on our long haul flights, as much as I, often travelling alone with two under 4’s, tried hard to cope.

That said, I kind of agree with OP, it’s one thing to understand that trying to get a crying baby to settle can be so hard, hovering over someone in BC, during a night flight, who is trying to sleep is not really appropriate.

We fly BC on long haul, paid for with our own money but we always check out seat guru when choosing our seats to try to minimise any disruption. Not always possible and good headphones are a must.

Anyone walking past can see you whether they be crew or another passenger. They really aren’t that private even if you do have a door. Also, there are many business class seats that don’t have a door and are completely open to the aisle.

Reminds me of a friend moving to USA because of her husband's job. He was promised the moon on a stick if he'd go. His wife wanted to wait till schools broke up in July so she was travelling alone with 4 kids aged between 3 and 7. His firm paid first class for her. She said the looks she got were terrible but her kids were really well behaved so no need for the judgement.

Mm, well no – because this isn’t about shitty hopeless parenting. This is about OP thinking she has the entitlement to demand that parents with children not stand near her seat. There is zero evidence that the parents were being hopeless parents, they just weren’t standing or sitting where OP thought they should.

OP insisting that parents with crying children ‘sit down and control your child’ tells me that she’s utterly clueless and somehow thinks she has purchased rights to silence.

Ah I’m showing my ignorance of business class that’s all. It’s just something I’d never thought about before and yes, I was massively surprised by it.
I know people who’ve flown business class but that was for business purposes and I was always more interested in what food they ate. 🤷‍♀️
My post wasn’t meant as a criticism of anyone who flies whatever class they are able to. Just showing my sheer lack of knowledge about it.

No as long as it works both ways - I can make loud phone calls on the free wifi whilst standing near someone else’s seat, then that’s fine 👍

I'd pay a chunk for a seat on an adult only plane, that'd suit me (and many others too I suspect) right down to the ground. I already choose adult only hotels where that's possible, and travel outside the school holidays every time.

I've done my stint with babies and kids, I just want adults now - preferably sober quiet ones.😊

Not in business class.

The majority of airlines now have separate cubicles in business class with a door that can be closed. When the door is closed you have to be stood still peering in to see properly into a cubicle. Any passenger sat nearby can’t see you at all.

Maybe creepy dad had the hots for you and was looking for an excuse to watch you ‘sleep’

I doubt that very much. More totally fucking inconsiderate and only considering his own and sleeping wife’s comfort rather than anyone else also having paid the thousands to lie down in business.

If you can afford to fly business you can afford better headphones if silence is so important to you. B&O H95's will set you back 850 quid and block out absolutely everything.