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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do some doctors just get a kick out of telling you to lose weight?

212 replies

Crawdle · 19/05/2025 13:01

Saw my gp for the first time in years. He commented that I looked very well (told him I have lost 30 pounds with about a stone until I am in the normal bmi range).

Anyway, as we were talking about how to treat the issue I went in for he was looking at his computer when he said “okay and then we really do need to get your weight under control to bring you into the healthy BMi range, it will be extremely beneficial”

Like okay?? I told the gp I’m on track to be in the healthy range by my birthday (end of summer). We even discussed my plans to go on a special trip to watch a sporting event for a few mins!

He said all this whilst his gut (MUCH larger than mine) was pressed against the desk.

AIBU to find this very annoying?!

He just took on a very serious tone when he said it. No “you’re getting there blah blah”

OP posts:
spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 13:05

Probably just not listening and giving out his usual spiel.

What were his suggestions for "okay and then we really do need to bring you into the healthy BMI range, it will be extremely beneficial”? What was he suggesting he or other services do about it?

Caligirl80 · 19/05/2025 13:08

Crawdle · 19/05/2025 13:01

Saw my gp for the first time in years. He commented that I looked very well (told him I have lost 30 pounds with about a stone until I am in the normal bmi range).

Anyway, as we were talking about how to treat the issue I went in for he was looking at his computer when he said “okay and then we really do need to get your weight under control to bring you into the healthy BMi range, it will be extremely beneficial”

Like okay?? I told the gp I’m on track to be in the healthy range by my birthday (end of summer). We even discussed my plans to go on a special trip to watch a sporting event for a few mins!

He said all this whilst his gut (MUCH larger than mine) was pressed against the desk.

AIBU to find this very annoying?!

He just took on a very serious tone when he said it. No “you’re getting there blah blah”

There will always be people who revel in other people's misfortune or discomfort - and GPs aren't immune from that. They do, after all, have a position of "power" in the sense of being the person the patient is coming to for help versus the other way round.

The fact that the GP is himself overweight is irrelevant to your own healthcare. There are GPs who smoke and drink booze and have unprotected sex etc etc etc etc - they are only human - but their job is to give YOU the best care for YOUR healthcare needs - their own needs are irrelevant to that role and the oath they took.

spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 13:10

A practice nurse told me off for being overweight about ten months after I'd had DD2 and had just run the Great North Run. I was about six pounds overweight and had lost two stone of the two and a half stone I put on having DD2.

Scottishskifun · 19/05/2025 13:14

Health care professionals have to raise it if the computer indicates it, it just means they can fill in the box to say its been completed.

I had gestational diabetes with DS2 it was genetic linked in my case I was a size 10 healthy BMI and still had a diabetic nurse have to give me the spiel about healthy eating, how to avoid high fat foods etc despite having a food diary of what I had etc. She was also a larger lady. I did say at the time I think we can skip over this bit but she wasn't allowed.

Birdseyetrifle · 19/05/2025 13:24

We have to click a box that says we’ve mentioned that weight loss will help. That’s all there is to it in most cases.

PraisebetoGod · 19/05/2025 13:27

I would find it impossible to take advice on losing weight from an overweight doctor/hcp - yanbu!

MsCactus · 19/05/2025 13:28

spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 13:10

A practice nurse told me off for being overweight about ten months after I'd had DD2 and had just run the Great North Run. I was about six pounds overweight and had lost two stone of the two and a half stone I put on having DD2.

Edited

God that's shocking! Isn't there meant to be a different BMI when you're postpartum? You carry a huge amount of fluid, extra breast tissue etc when you're postpartum, so doesn't feel fair to shame women post birth for being 'overweight'

Back20 · 19/05/2025 13:31

I think you just get whatever generic information the computer happens to spill out.
No thought whatsoever about whether it’s helpful or even appropriate.
Quite simply “computer says”, then they can tick their box and call it good.
I recently had my first hard fought for appointment after sudden diagnosis of serious chronic condition. The “advice” was loose weight (I’m not overweight), stop drinking alcohol (I drink very minimally) and increase exercise. Nothing specifically about my condition, where to go for help or what to do. That needs another appointment apparently AngryConfused

AgnesX · 19/05/2025 13:33

He wasn't listening but you were the one who was there for the consult about your weight and therefore being in the line of fire.

His gut is besides the point.

outforawalkb · 19/05/2025 13:34

I don’t listen to anything about weight now after they estimated BMI by looking at me and got it wrong by 5 points

Badbadbunny · 19/05/2025 13:35

Almost certainly not actually listening to you. So many of them can't cope with being told information that they're not actually asking for at that very minute. If you deal with healthcare professionals a lot, you soon learn just to answer questions when they ask them as they're basically "ticking boxes" and writing comments in boxes, so they screen out anything you're saying that they're not needing at that precise moment. You're really wasting your breath giving them any more information than they specifically ask for at each moment in the consultation. Best just to let them ask questions, fill their boxes, and then wait until a proper "gap" in the consultation to give them "extra" information. I don't know the system, but it probably pops up as a "pop up" box to mention giving weight advice at a specific point if certain parameters are met in other boxes!

Every sodding year during my annual diabetic review, I'm asked the same questions that I've literally answered multiple times previously, i.e. do I smoke, how much do I drink, am I depressed, etc etc - the system doesn't "remember" my answers from previous years, so several minutes of the short consultation are wasted with asking/answering questions where the answer never changes. This is what happens when the computer/systems take over! The doctor/nurse just becomes a data entry clerk, for the benefit of statisticians rather than the health of the patient!

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 13:35

Maintaining a healthy weight has numerous health benefits for people, i don't see the outrage of a doctor mentioning it tbh, only if it meant they weren't taking your medical concerns seriously.

WhisperingTree · 19/05/2025 13:35

You are overthinking this. He has to say it because it's in his check list. Loads of work places have this type of procedures.

We have to do yearly health and safety learning about how to sit at a computer desk and set up our monitors and keyboards so we don't get RSI. No one seriously believe we don't know how to do it currently.

I think you are just being defensive because you have a problem with weight yourself.

Badbadbunny · 19/05/2025 13:37

Birdseyetrifle · 19/05/2025 13:24

We have to click a box that says we’ve mentioned that weight loss will help. That’s all there is to it in most cases.

Presumably that helps to secure extra funding due to giving "weight loss advice"???

Bluevelvetsofa · 19/05/2025 13:37

But the OP had already said that she had lost weight and was still losing weight and on track towards a normal BMI. He could have ticked his box with that information, surely.

I get that there are boxes to be ticked, but actually listening to the patient would have shown that she was taking steps.

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/05/2025 13:38

I think you're being oversensitive tbh, he was stating facts.

Also, his weight is nothing to do with you, you're not his Dr.

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 13:38

They absolutely do. Our tiny gp delights in telling almost everybody to lose weight.

WombTangClan · 19/05/2025 13:39

AgnesX · 19/05/2025 13:33

He wasn't listening but you were the one who was there for the consult about your weight and therefore being in the line of fire.

His gut is besides the point.

She was in there for something different and mentioned her weight loss after a comment about how well she looked?

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/05/2025 13:39

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 13:38

They absolutely do. Our tiny gp delights in telling almost everybody to lose weight.

I bet they don't tell everybody to lose weight.

B1anche · 19/05/2025 13:40

They are doing it for your own good. A very close friend of mine is a practice nurse and she dreads having to bring up the subject of weight, as people are so defensive and are quick to make formal complaints. Obesity seems to be such an acceptable thing now that no-one actually believes that their health will benefit from them losing weight. My friend has been accused of 'body shaming' just for passing a leaflet about the benefits of weight loss to someone who was several kilos overweight.

AgnesX · 19/05/2025 13:42

WombTangClan · 19/05/2025 13:39

She was in there for something different and mentioned her weight loss after a comment about how well she looked?

Show quote history

0/10 for reading (me that is) Mea culpa

Whoarethoseguys · 19/05/2025 13:42

I think you are unlucky with your doctor mine has never mentioned my weight. And I am overweight but I know I am and I'm trying to do something about it

Whoarethoseguys · 19/05/2025 13:47

B1anche · 19/05/2025 13:40

They are doing it for your own good. A very close friend of mine is a practice nurse and she dreads having to bring up the subject of weight, as people are so defensive and are quick to make formal complaints. Obesity seems to be such an acceptable thing now that no-one actually believes that their health will benefit from them losing weight. My friend has been accused of 'body shaming' just for passing a leaflet about the benefits of weight loss to someone who was several kilos overweight.

But in this case it wasn't for OPs 'own good' she has already lost a lot of weight and is on track to teach her target weight by the summer.
And people who are overweight know they are overweight they don't need a doctor to tell them
What they need is support and understanding

BigDahliaFan · 19/05/2025 13:50

Every sodding year during my annual diabetic review, I'm asked the same questions that I've literally answered multiple times previously, i.e. do I smoke, how much do I drink, am I depressed, etc etc - the system doesn't "remember" my answers from previous years, so several minutes of the short consultation are wasted with asking/answering questions where the answer never changes. This is what happens when the computer/systems take over! The doctor/nurse just becomes a data entry clerk, for the benefit of statisticians rather than the health of the patient!

Well you might have become and alcoholic smoker and got depressed about it in a year....

I think I'd rather they asked than just left the info the same for ever...

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 13:51

Bluevelvetsofa · 19/05/2025 13:37

But the OP had already said that she had lost weight and was still losing weight and on track towards a normal BMI. He could have ticked his box with that information, surely.

I get that there are boxes to be ticked, but actually listening to the patient would have shown that she was taking steps.

You'd be surprised, some people would complain that although they'd spoken about their weight the GP hadn't said anything.