Do some doctors just get a kick out of telling you to lose weight?

[Crawdle]

Saw my gp for the first time in years. He commented that I looked very well (told him I have lost 30 pounds with about a stone until I am in the normal bmi range).

Anyway, as we were talking about how to treat the issue I went in for he was looking at his computer when he said “okay and then we really do need to get your weight under control to bring you into the healthy BMi range, it will be extremely beneficial”

Like okay?? I told the gp I’m on track to be in the healthy range by my birthday (end of summer). We even discussed my plans to go on a special trip to watch a sporting event for a few mins!

He said all this whilst his gut (MUCH larger than mine) was pressed against the desk.

AIBU to find this very annoying?!

He just took on a very serious tone when he said it. No “you’re getting there blah blah”

Sounds like he just got on with his job in an efficient manner, considering how many patients he'll have to see.

But it also sounds like the OP is very touchy about it, considering her report on the GP's weight which is neither here nor there when it comes to the OP's health.

It does make them sound like they weren't listening at all.

Could be worse all your symptoms could be put down to the weight.

Dad had untreated sleep anea - he did lose the weight but struggled to keep off - went back to GP about snoring - and it affected whole house - to get a shrug. Likely sleep apnea was a continuting factor to the weight gain rather than weight causing the sleep apnea in his case.

Later when he was obese again despite his best efforts he had a lot of bone joint pain - again put down to weight - which probably didn't help. A blood test was done someone added vit D - GP rang in panic as he was one point away from being blue lighted to hospital and needed to come in immediately. He felt more able to move about when his levels were back up to normal levels - or NHS normal anyway.

I remember my family GP (who probably had a BMI 35+) telling me when I still had about half a stone of baby weight to shift “You could do with losing just few pounds. I know, I know you’re looking at me thinking ‘You absolute bloody hypocrite!’ but I HAVE to tell you. It’s the rules” and then pissed herself laughing. I wouldn’t take it personally.

That’s awful. How insulting ! Hope you can get some proper help and guidance for your new condition.

Taking their own advice will do nothing for their patients.

Did you get the 'when was your last menstrual period' as well.

Support groups for that condition may well be more helpful with more up to date advice than NHS - certainly what my parents have found - though obviously depends on condition and what's out there for it.

Sounds like he just got on with his job in an efficient manner, considering how many patients he'll have to see.

Bollocks to that. It's NOT efficient not to remember the conversation from 8 minutes earlier and respond accordingly, "right, you've mentioned your weight - excellent work and keep it up as it's clearly important, as you know" does not take extra time or effort.. It's not efficient to handle medical matters in an entirely inpersonal manner - all it does is make people feel liek shit and reduce their liklihood of continuing to make changes.

And more importantly, it makes me wonder what else he missed during this appointment. Perhaps she said something else that was important about her healthcare, but he wasn't paying attention and so he missed it.

I speak as someone who had a condition in pregnancy that was missed because mid wife after mid wife didn't take my complaints seriously because they simply heard I'd had a test for this condition and they glossed over it after that. I was lucky enought to see a senior midwife in my final few weeks of pregnancy who listned to what I said, clocked the timing of my original test, realiesd it was entirely possible the test had been administered too early and sent me for restesting.... which then resulted in me receiving multiple panciked calls from the surgery later that day because they wanted to induce me practicalyl immediatley.

So not paying attention annoys the SHIT out of me.

I was told that I was obese by a practice nurse 35 years ago. It was the only wake-up call I had to motivate me to loose weight.

I’m glad she decided to weigh me and have that conversation. I’d probably still be carrying those extra 30 kg and more, and my life would have looked different.

Today, I think she’d be more cautious before saying anything.

Our GPs do this every bloody time, smoking, weight age etc. need a new hip, knee they ask these questions. In Wales it's to knock you off the referral list I've worked out. Because if you tell them you have private insurance they beam at you. Falling over themselves to be obliging.

But it would make them a bit more credible because after all if loosing weight was that easy why are they not able to do it

I doubt very much they 'delight in it' @Bbq1 but given 64%+ of adults in the are overweight or obese, I'm not surprised it's 'almost everybody' especially as the link between excess weight and poor health is well documented. Frankly, I'd be surprised if a doctor did NOT mention it. The size of the doctor is of zero irrelevance. Obesity levels are climbing and costing the NHS vast sums of money for treatment that could be avoided - I think it's something like £6billion! Anything they can do to support someone to lose weight should be applauded IMO and not mentioning it for fear of upsetting or offending someone is quite possibly part of the reason why it's a such a growing issue.

(not to say the dr in OP's post wasn't insensitive and could have shown greater empathy by asking if she needs any support to continue her weight loss journey and explaining the benefits to her health)

If they at any point during the appointment, claimed that 'losing weight is easy', then yes I agree.

But since I really can't imagine any medical professional saying that, I maintain that their bodies make no difference to the health of anyone else's.

I've often said that as a woman, I could attend with an arm hanging off and I'd be a)asked for a pregnancy test to be completed or b)told to lose weight.

It's incredibly lazy of them but it seems it's part of the gender pain gap.

I went in for help with constant neck pain from an injury. A nurse was available so I saw her. No word of a lie and I don't want to be mean, but she was about 20 plus stone, so large she was wearing track pants and a t shirt. She genuinely told me that my neck would be better if I lost two stone. My BMI is fine. I have big boobs! I'm curvy. But she was huge compared to me!

I suggested that my pain was caused by an old injury flaring up. She carried on going on about weight and then said she felt I may benefit from speaking to a counsellor as I seemed "annoyed" and "stressed" and I looked "disheveled" (I was wearing clean jeans, a t-shirt and a denim jacket with vintage trainers, hair was washed and brushed, make up on).

That was the final straw for me and I said "coming from someone not even wearing an actual nursing uniform and trackie bottoms I think you have a cheek."

When I left I was clearly upset and the lady on the desk asked what happened, she commented that someone in her position was totally out of order, she then fitted me in to see the GP who gave me painkillers and made a referral to physio.

I think it’s the insufferable tone some nurses use that a lot of people have an issue with

A nurse once used that tone on me (not related to weight) and I quickly put her in her place

I would say that there are so many tick boxes including weight for several reasons - one is accountability. The doctor has then " discussed" this with you and as per the timeline laid down by the NHS. This is to try to ensure some consistency across the NHS regardless of who you see and to cover themselves from people who claim they didn't get consulted about this. You can't expect a GP to praise you for some weight loss. His or her own size is irrelevant.

Perhaps they were trying to encourage you.

Years ago the Dr told me to watch my weight, I was thin & he’d already told me previously when I asked if my weight was OK that it was. So I told him it wasn’t me that was thin, it was him that was fat. He looked quite shocked, fingered his tie, shuffled in his chair, & tried to uncomfortably laugh it off. I was meno, which of course was no joke.

Fair, but then so many people are so upset at themselves over their own weight, it can skew their perspective a bit.

Like the OP for example getting it in her head that some doctors 'get a kick' out of telling people they need to lose weight, and bringing the doctor's weight into it like it's got anything at all to do with the OP or her health.

If all nurses and doctors lost weight tomorrow, it wouldn't cut down on the heart attacks, diabetes or other ailments of their patients.

In fact we'd probably be hearing, "Doctors and nursers don't understand because they're all so slim".

I bet you've got more than 10 minutes to listen and personalise your approach.
That 10 minutes includes his time to type up your records and arrange any further tests/referrals you might need.
It IS a tick box exercise... because that's how Primary Care is funded.
No box ticked- no QoF point - no money- no staff- no appointments.

I would have asked him why he thought all the weight I had just lost wasn’t enough. And then wait….

Not listening or blindly following a script on a screen are not good enough reasons. If it’s the best a GP can do, then AI can do better. At least, it listens.

In that case, he only needed to actually listen to what the OP had told him 10 seconds before. He didn’t need more time to dig out new information! Just to take into account what he’d been told.

Spot on ! How can a lawyer even begin to think they can compare their work to that of an NHS doctor !

I was annoyed that mine told me well done for maintaining my weight for 10 years though I have a fat waist. I actually need a kick up my (lardy) bum to do it.

Remember when my tiny sparrow DIL told me a nurse came into lecture the eight bed ward about losing weight post baby weight. All the mothers were very slender. The nurse was an oompah lumpah as wide as she was tall. DIL size 6 struggled not to giggle.

Charming language.

I hope you don't use it around your grandchild.