Page 5 | Do some doctors just get a kick out of telling you to lose weight?

Crawdle · 2025-05-19T12:01:47+00:00

Saw my gp for the first time in years. He commented that I looked very well (told him I have lost 30 pounds with about a stone until I am in the normal bmi range). Anyway, as we were talking about how to treat the issue I went in for he was looking at his computer when he said “okay and then we really do need to get your weight under control to bring you into the healthy BMi range, it will be extremely beneficial” Like okay?? I told the gp I’m on track to be in the healthy range by my birthday (end of summer). We even discussed my plans to go on a special trip to watch a sporting event for a few mins! He said all this whilst his gut (MUCH larger than mine) was pressed against the desk. AIBU to find this very annoying?! He just took on a very serious tone when he said it. No “you’re getting there blah blah”

Sesma · 19/05/2025 16:31

I can remember years ago, I was told I was overweight because I was 9.5 stones, they didn't take my height into account, I'm 5'10", I would be overweight if I was 5'2" or something like that

UseNailOil · 19/05/2025 16:31

Doctors have to tell you. They have to follow the guidelines. Don’t personalise it - they’re paid to do their job, just like anyone else.

proximalhumerous · 19/05/2025 16:35

Badbadbunny · 19/05/2025 13:35

Almost certainly not actually listening to you. So many of them can't cope with being told information that they're not actually asking for at that very minute. If you deal with healthcare professionals a lot, you soon learn just to answer questions when they ask them as they're basically "ticking boxes" and writing comments in boxes, so they screen out anything you're saying that they're not needing at that precise moment. You're really wasting your breath giving them any more information than they specifically ask for at each moment in the consultation. Best just to let them ask questions, fill their boxes, and then wait until a proper "gap" in the consultation to give them "extra" information. I don't know the system, but it probably pops up as a "pop up" box to mention giving weight advice at a specific point if certain parameters are met in other boxes!

Every sodding year during my annual diabetic review, I'm asked the same questions that I've literally answered multiple times previously, i.e. do I smoke, how much do I drink, am I depressed, etc etc - the system doesn't "remember" my answers from previous years, so several minutes of the short consultation are wasted with asking/answering questions where the answer never changes. This is what happens when the computer/systems take over! The doctor/nurse just becomes a data entry clerk, for the benefit of statisticians rather than the health of the patient!

How is that wasting time? Whether you smoke, how much you drink and your mental health are all things that could easily change in the course of a year. It would be ridiculous (and negligent) to assume that someone who wasn't depressed and was teetotal in 2021 could not have developed depression and increased their alcohol intake by 2025.

It's not like they're asking you if an amputated limb has grown back.

1984Winston · 19/05/2025 16:38

I hate this, I am overweight and I do anything to avoid the nurses in particular, last time the nurse was bigger than me and advised me to walk more, I don't bloody drive and had just walked 40 minutes to get to the appointment 🙄

Ifitistobesaid · 19/05/2025 16:40

I went to the GP about irregular periods when I was TTC and the GP did seem a bit gleeful when telling me losing weight could help. I had a BMI of 26 or 27 and didn’t think that was that overweight so was really offended.

But I did lose weight and my periods became more regular. It was the first time I’d really seen how weight directly impacts health so
am really mindful of it now.

foreverblowingbubbless · 19/05/2025 16:40

mathanxiety · 19/05/2025 16:10

I can't believe you never get weighed at a doctor visit. It is done every single time you visit a doctor in the US, and your blood pressure and blood oxygen taken.

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Not in the NHS in the UK 🙄

Back20 · 19/05/2025 16:40

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 19/05/2025 14:27

Support groups for that condition may well be more helpful with more up to date advice than NHS - certainly what my parents have found - though obviously depends on condition and what's out there for it.

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What I actually needed was some kind of genuine healthcare and support from my GP or nurse.
I was still shell shocked from urgent significant surgery (with no help from GP because “I’m under hospital teams now”) and then the unexpected diagnosis.
I entirely disagree that what I received was in any way suitable.
I can only assume you’ve never been in the position, that you think signposting is what I needed.
or box ticking

Notyomama · 19/05/2025 16:41

SalfordQuays · 19/05/2025 16:21

I’m a GP and after reading the outrage repeatedly on MN about clinicians who dare to advise weight loss, I rarely mention it now. Patients can just stay fat. Not my problem. I’d like to help but I know from MN that any discussion about weight is seen as being hugely offensive. One of my patients recently died as a direct result of her morbid obesity. It’s a shame we can’t discuss it without risking such fury. Smokers are far easier to deal with. They expect advice and they just take it without arguing the toss.

Telling people over and over to lose weight isn't 'helping.' You must know that as a medical professional, surely???

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 16:46

No I don’t think doctors get a kick telling patients they need to lose weight. They care and want their patients to be healthy but Surely it’s the same if they are suggesting you need to cut down in drinking or alcohol? It’s irrelevant if he’s overweight. You’re defensive and being sensitive because you use to be fat. It’s the same as people being defensive when the doctor says you need to do XZY to be healthy.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 16:48

Birdseyetrifle · 19/05/2025 13:24

We have to click a box that says we’ve mentioned that weight loss will help. That’s all there is to it in most cases.

This. Unless you work in a GP surgery you have no idea how the computer system works and the amount of boxes they need to do.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 16:53

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 13:38

They absolutely do. Our tiny gp delights in telling almost everybody to lose weight.

Well if they are fat then they should really take the advice.

Leo800 · 19/05/2025 16:56

Being a healthy weight helps with overall health though, so he was right to mention it. I don’t know why people get so prickly about it. If you’re overweight, you’re overweight.

Disturbia81 · 19/05/2025 16:56

Yeah it is a bit odd seeing as though you discussed it, sounds like he wasn’t really listening and then doing a generic spiel

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 16:56

Walker1178 · 19/05/2025 13:53

I had a car accident where the other driver hit my car door, caused damage to my shoulder which was understandably quite painful. Helpful advice from my GP ‘Losing weight will make it better’ 🙄

You don’t mention if you’re overweight. If you’re fat, then losing weight would make it better.

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 16:58

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/05/2025 13:39

I bet they don't tell everybody to lose weight.

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Very slim to average sized people I know have been told by her to lose weight so....

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 17:00

B1anche · 19/05/2025 14:05

When I was at school in the 80s and 90s, hardly anyone was fat. Being fat was seen as being a bad thing. At school, I can only remember one or two very overweight children. Now they are rolling out of the classroom one after the other. It's not the doctors' fault that so many people are obese, things are getting worse because it has become acceptable and anyone who disagrees is 'fat-shaming'.

Seriously, the number of times I have heard size 16 women declaring that they are the average size, totally overlooking the fact that the average person is fat/overweight.

There are too many people making too many excuses.

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Agree. The fact they don’t understand the average size is a size 16 because most people are fatter now 🙄 some fat people just don’t want to take accountability.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 17:05

Someone2025 · 19/05/2025 14:47

I think it’s the insufferable tone some nurses use that a lot of people have an issue with

A nurse once used that tone on me (not related to weight) and I quickly put her in her place

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What’s their insufferable tone?

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 17:09

Notyomama · 19/05/2025 16:41

Telling people over and over to lose weight isn't 'helping.' You must know that as a medical professional, surely???

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Well it depends on how many times you’re going to see your GP for weight related issues. GPS/nurses have boxes that they need to take when a patient comes in, this is directly related to the amount of funding they get. So some questions will be about lifestyle. GPS don’t care if you’re fat they want to see you healthy. Fat people should take some responsibility.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 17:11

Crawdle · 19/05/2025 14:08

The fact that the gp defaulted to a generic, statement made the whole experience feel very impersonal. It was just poor bedside manner imo.

Sure, doctors have protocols and checklists but good practice would involve listening and tailoring guidance based on what has been discussed

I’m a family lawyer and will often go into a call with a bunch of points I need to address. If the client independently brings up the info I need I don’t then rehash it. Interpersonal skills is a thing, no?

Edited

You saying he had a huge gut is not relevant though. It could be like someone saying they won’t want to take advice off a family lawyer if the lawyer is divorced or is single or doesn’t have kids. Not relevant at all.

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/05/2025 17:12

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 16:58

Very slim to average sized people I know have been told by her to lose weight so....

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If your Dr is telling people who are deemed to be a healthy weight (based on their BMI and other indicators used by the NHS) then you should report them. However, I would also say that 'average' is also currently overweight so....

JohnTheRevelator · 19/05/2025 17:13

I have had something similar a few times. I had managed to lose 5 stone over the course of 18 months. I went to my GP's surgery to have my blood pressure taken and the nurse,who hadn't seen me since before I'd lost the weight,told me to stand on the scales. She tutted and said 'You could do with losing a few stone'. I said 'I have managed to lose 5 stone over the last year and a half '. She just said 'mmm right'. No encouragement,no well done for losing 5 of the 9 stone you need to lose. No wonder people get discouraged. And for the record,she must have been at least 3 stone overweight herself!

CheezePleeze · 19/05/2025 17:22

Bbq1 · 19/05/2025 13:38

They absolutely do. Our tiny gp delights in telling almost everybody to lose weight.

See this is exactly what I mean ^^

So many posters incredulous that overweight doctors and nurses are telling them to lose weight.

But when a doctor isn't overweight, a poster is incredulous at being told they need to lose weight by a 'tiny' GP 😳

Meanwhile, it's all avoidance as the weight of the medical professional has nothing to do with the weight of the patient.

Again, if the medical professionals lost weight, it wouldn't prevent heart attacks and diabetes etc in their patients 🤷‍♂️

narkyspirit · 19/05/2025 17:24

I think you should remember that a typical appointment is quite short 5-10 mins most Dr's/HCP's are in transmit rather than receive mode

BlueTitShark · 19/05/2025 17:24

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 17:09

Well it depends on how many times you’re going to see your GP for weight related issues. GPS/nurses have boxes that they need to take when a patient comes in, this is directly related to the amount of funding they get. So some questions will be about lifestyle. GPS don’t care if you’re fat they want to see you healthy. Fat people should take some responsibility.

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It also depends on how keen says doctor is on putting weight as THE reason for your symptoms…..

BlueTitShark · 19/05/2025 17:25

JohnTheRevelator · 19/05/2025 17:13

I have had something similar a few times. I had managed to lose 5 stone over the course of 18 months. I went to my GP's surgery to have my blood pressure taken and the nurse,who hadn't seen me since before I'd lost the weight,told me to stand on the scales. She tutted and said 'You could do with losing a few stone'. I said 'I have managed to lose 5 stone over the last year and a half '. She just said 'mmm right'. No encouragement,no well done for losing 5 of the 9 stone you need to lose. No wonder people get discouraged. And for the record,she must have been at least 3 stone overweight herself!

Edited

Well done for your weight loss!
Its not an insignificant amount at all!

I hope you’re proud of it (and ignore the nurse!)