Do some doctors just get a kick out of telling you to lose weight?

[Crawdle]

Saw my gp for the first time in years. He commented that I looked very well (told him I have lost 30 pounds with about a stone until I am in the normal bmi range).

Anyway, as we were talking about how to treat the issue I went in for he was looking at his computer when he said “okay and then we really do need to get your weight under control to bring you into the healthy BMi range, it will be extremely beneficial”

Like okay?? I told the gp I’m on track to be in the healthy range by my birthday (end of summer). We even discussed my plans to go on a special trip to watch a sporting event for a few mins!

He said all this whilst his gut (MUCH larger than mine) was pressed against the desk.

AIBU to find this very annoying?!

He just took on a very serious tone when he said it. No “you’re getting there blah blah”

They are doing it for your own good.
And is their method working? Things are getting worse, not better.
Everybody knows that eating disorders are usually a psychological thing but medics never address that, they just give simplistic "eat smaller portions" type advice. Or pass on a leaflet, as if people have never in their lives heard dietary advice before.

It doesn't sound like the GP was judging though? It's a bit strange to expect doctors to not mention weight when its a significant factor in someone's overall health.

Have you been way above a healthy BMI for many years?

I had a car accident where the other driver hit my car door, caused damage to my shoulder which was understandably quite painful. Helpful advice from my GP ‘Losing weight will make it better’ 🙄

I'd be less irritated by the comment on your weight than by the fact that he clearly hadn't actually listened to a word you'd said. Not much of a GP if he's already forgotten the first part of your 10 minute appointment by the end...!?

So, in my case, not dissimilar situation with my GP. Difference was that when I had said I was trying and why it was hard etc, she had listened to that and we even had a chat about injections and why it's so annoying that she can't give them to me.

LOL, he was just doing his job.

Yes but why would he just spew out the standard line with no indication whatsoever that he'd just heard the OP talking about her weight loss? He clearly just wasn't listening or remotely interested.

You seem to be missing the fact that she has already told him about her weight loss and that she was continuing with it. So, he didn’t need to bring it up again, not if he’s actually listened to a word she said.

I mean. I have a good friend who is 5’1 and wears a size 24. She’s always complaining that her doctor goes on about her weight but is absolutely blind to the fact that her weight is likely to be causing the health issues that she has. She just prefers to dismiss it as her doctor being a big meanie, rather than accepting she could do something about her weight.

You can’t moan that he mentioned your weight then go on about his ‘gut’ you’re just as bad

Again, missing the point that OP had already talked about her weight with him.

When I was at school in the 80s and 90s, hardly anyone was fat. Being fat was seen as being a bad thing. At school, I can only remember one or two very overweight children. Now they are rolling out of the classroom one after the other. It's not the doctors' fault that so many people are obese, things are getting worse because it has become acceptable and anyone who disagrees is 'fat-shaming'.

Seriously, the number of times I have heard size 16 women declaring that they are the average size, totally overlooking the fact that the average person is fat/overweight.

There are too many people making too many excuses.

You haven't seen him in years so he'll have no idea whether you've really lost any weight, or you're just trying to stop him mentioning it - much like when a smoker claims they've given up but they haven't.

His gut won't give you a heart attack or diabetes and given he wasn't the one visiting you about a health problem, I don't know why you've even mentioned it?

The fact that the gp defaulted to a generic, statement made the whole experience feel very impersonal. It was just poor bedside manner imo.

Sure, doctors have protocols and checklists but good practice would involve listening and tailoring guidance based on what has been discussed

I’m a family lawyer and will often go into a call with a bunch of points I need to address. If the client independently brings up the info I need I don’t then rehash it. Interpersonal skills is a thing, no?

"I've lost loads of weight recently"

"I haven't had a drink since last Christmas, honest!"

"Smoking? Nah I packed that in months ago Doc".

These are all things GPs hear regularly, but they still need to do their job.

But if your gut was touching your desk, how would that affect your clients in any way?

You'd still be just as qualified wouldn't you?

Well, my doctor could tell that I had 100% lost weight because my last data point on weight was significnatly higher than it was when I came in. So it's not exactly DIFFICULT for them to confirm, even if they dont' know you well.....

You're not the OP though are you?

She hadn't seen her doctor for years.

Perhaps I'm extrapolating. But I was assuming that she had been overweight for a while and that woudl be on her records

But even if not, and even if he THINKS she's lying, surely, if he's paying attention he'd still give her positive reinforcement for the weight she has (apparently) lost, while encouraging her to continue to lose weight. That's just basic patient care to a) pay attention b) be supportive.

No. I think if they're good doctors they get a kick out of helping their patients to be well and healthy, managing existing health conditions and preventing new ones. Obviously given the number of patients they are statistically likely to have who are OW, this probably involves raising the subject of weight loss on a fairly regular basis. Even those perverse enough to get pleasure from that would surely find the novelty wore off with the sheer repetition.

This. Tick box exercise which health professionals can’t frustratingly override. You have done great and a great example of what hard work and commitment accomplishes. Losing weight to reach a healthy BMI is not easy but oh so worth it in the end - healthier internal organs and enhanced wellbeing / confidence.

An awful lot of nurses should take some of their own advice as most of the ones I see are overweight

But, it's ridiculous to say we really need to do something about your weight to someone who has literally just told them they're doing something about their weight. It makes it seem like they haven't listened at all.

And it's not like he actually gave her any advice or anything.

I’m convinced they either don’t listen to a word I say, or it’s just become something they say without realising.

I had a HRT check a few weeks ago and asked for some help with diet, nutrition, etc. I’ve put on put on a couple of stone over the last few years and nothing I do will shift it - healthy diet, gym and personal trainer, lots of exercise, swimming, tried fasting, etc. I’m only just outside of the healthy range, but I feel uncomfortable so the GP referred me to a nutritionist.

At the end of the appointment, having just discussed all this and referred me, he said “we also need to address your weight, it would be good to get back to a healthy weight” - er….

I’ve also got frozen shoulder for the second time - for which he referred me to physio/hydrotherapy - again, losing weight will help with that apparently.

I'm sure like most OW people they probably try. But if it were that easy there would be no OW people. Being a nurse doesn't automatically remove all the barriers to weight loss that people who are not nurses face.