I’ve lost 52 pounds but I’m just kinda over it now

[Whis]

It’s taken almost a year. Lost it via diet changes- minimal carbs, no snacking, no takeaways, minimal wine etc.

But I’m just so over it. I’m just at a loss with what to do. I’ve had a wee cry. Just wish this was all done with.

I probably have another 20 pounds to go. I’m sick of being in diet mode.

I feel physically better. But it’s mental torture. I’m sick of being “good”.

A YEAR of this shit and I’m still not there.

I don’t want to think about food in this level of detail anymore. I want to go to the pub and eat a plate of fish and chips, with several glasses of wine and a slice of cheesecake. Without that fear and guilt. I have cheat days but they’re not worth the stress it causes so I just don’t bother.

You have done amazingly well!
I know exactly how you feel though.
I have only been dieting for 3 months and the fat is coming off extremely slowly. I have only lost 7 pounds and although I do feel better losing so little is making me want to give up and have a chocolate bar!
You though have lost loads I would be tempted to stop for awhile but then it might be very difficult to start again
So don't undo all your work. And push on a little longer
Good luck.

I have just developed a bit of a hang up with non healthy snacks.

It's not your fault. We live in a world where it became normalised to have unhealthy "treats" all the time, and every meal should be a "treat meal".

We have a weird obsession with food, and people seem to find it weird to have a "bland" or "boring" meal but everything have to a reward meal.

I don't know, sometimes you eat a banana or a few bits of cold chicken because you are hungry and you need food, it's not even a question of missing out on a lasagna and chocolate icecream instead.

I've lost 2 stone using portion control, I still ate chip shop chips, pizza, ice cream but just weighed it. I didn't eat all those in one sitting though.

Why don't you go and have a feast at the pub then get back on it tomorrow?

I may see this in a totally different way and maybe an unreasonable way who knows. You’ve lost 3.5 stone it’s absolutely amazing well done! Are you happy with where you are genuinely? The size you are, how you feel about yourself? Are you pushing to get to the 2 stone because bmi tells you what that should be? I’m loosing weight and lost a stone so far, my goal is to loose another 1.5st that still puts me overweight by bmi standards but I know I can maintain and be happy at that weight, pushing myself to achieve normal range to me will make me miserable as I struggle to maintain a lower weight because it’s no fun and eventually I give up. That weight usually puts me around a size 12 and I’m happy with that I like the way I look at a 12, yes I could keep pushing to get the lower numbers. Anyway my point is whats the target? To feel better about yourself and enjoy your life or punish yourself on a diet which ultimately won’t stick or will introduce bad habits because your unhappy and depriving yourself of things. Just have a look at what your goal is deep down and not just chase a number

I think you're building up maintenance, have cake 3x a week is not normal imo. It's obviously less 'fun' to eat healthily (not less tasty) but the feeling of grossness when you eat crap is not worth it for me.

Well done , that is fantastic.

I am a yo-yo dieter if ever there was one.

What helps me is to include some treats but smaller portions e.g. if I go out with my husband we will share the dessert. Same amount of pleasure but half the calories.
Or if I am out for lunch, I shall order what I want, take a container with me and put third to half in this before I start and then take it home for another meal with a salad or extra veggies.
This way I can have treats and not feel deprived.
Instead of wine I shall hve a spritzer and a glass of water , again similar pleasure but less calories.
i track what I eat, drink, sleep and exercise and try and start a new healthy way of eating every few days and track this too so it becomes a habit.
In fact to help me stay on task, I have created a planner/ tracker (I couldn’t find anything suitable I liked) and when I use this I find it easier to stay focused.

I have also started playing sports that I liked. I used to go to a gym but didn’t really enjoy this, now I am playing pickleball and I love it. 2 hours of fun and you can lose over 800 calories!

Very well done though, I’m sure you will get over this plateau too and then succeed with the rest you want to lose.
(Apologies as this is rather long and boring!)

Have a bloody good blow out, allow yourself one for every 4 or 8 weeks depending upon your mood.
Well done on the control and discipline you've endured, you have done amazing.
If you have a set date to look forward to monthly it'll make a difference to the trapped feeling.

Have some cheat days op! You’ve done a fantastic job 👏👏👏

I've spent most of my adult life in this battle of wanting to be skinny but wanting to enjoy life. I only hover just between normal weight and overweight so not massively overweight so maybe this is my balance and my compromise.

Diets do work. You can't lose weight without a calorie deficit. What you describe is a diet - you are plainly creating a calorie deficit overall with what you eat.
If you're doing that without paying a lot of attention to detail, that's fine, but to be honest, you're quite lucky in that - other people need to really write down what they eat to make sure they are hitting the calorific goal. Absolutely no reason you can't have the odd uncounted day though, or eat a cheesecake and make sure that the other stuff you eat that day brings your total intake to the right level.

Having lost a total of just over 4.5 stone I have to say I agree with the experts that it has to be a permanent lifestyle change, rather than diet.
I relaxed at the beginning of the year, after maintaining for 4 years.
I’m now 16lbs heavier. 😭
Over a stone that I’ve got to lose all over again. No fish & chips or cheesecake is worth how miserable I currently feel now I can’t get into any of my clothes tbh.

Have you considered using a tracking app? I use nutracheck which I find fantastic. I can plan my whole week out so that I only have to really think about it once a week and I can tailor my calories to have easier days occasionally.

I can send you a 30 day free trial link if you like? (I get nothing for it, it's just a bonus of membership!)

Sounds like you’ve reached a plateau. Has the weight loss slowed down and maybe you’re losing heart because of that ? I lost around six stone a few years ago and that took over a year. When I plateaued and found it difficult to lose the last remaining weight I went into weight maintenance mode until I found my mojo again and the last of the weight came off when I restarted - slower than before but it came off. It’s not easy OP and you’ve done really well so far. Don't throw it all away for pie and chips and a pint that will only give you momentary satisfaction.

Are you saying you did that without the exercise programme as well?

You are amazing and I wish to find half your discipline 👏🏾.

I lost a lot of weight over two years but I didn’t diet on a Saturday - I found I didn’t actually go crazy but knowing I was free to eat the cheesecake helped reduce the need for it

Congratulations OP.

Can you not have the odd treat once a week. I eat well most of the time but do treat myself to a bit of sweet, share a portion of fish and chips with DH, the odd glass of wine.

it is not all or nothing.

This is difficult to hear but you will never be able to eat like you did before. Ever. If you revert then you will gain back all the weight.

you need to change your mindset from all the things you are abstaining from to what are the foods that I eat. What does my nutrition look like going forward.

if you think of this period as something that ends you will pile the weight back on.

truth is once you reach the size and weight you are happy with the difference in what you will eat to maintain is nearer to what you are currently eating than what you ate before.

firstly a smaller body requires far fewer calories to exist than your body did at 70-80lb heavier.
secondly if you ate one portion of fish and chips a fortnight and one piece of cake a fortnight you would not gain weight. But if you are restraining yourself thinking once you’ve lost that 20lb you’ll be able to eat what you want when you go out and have takeaways once a week and snacks, you are going to undo all your amazing work.

the fact is you will need to continue with much smaller portion sizes and healthy choices for ever

Mannnnnn, i feel you! Down 40lbs in 8 months, got 8 left to go and it all just stalled 2 months ago. Worst bit is, in certain clothes/certain light/ certain times of the month i think i actually look pretty good. But in others (and more usually) i definitely look like I've still got weight to lose. What I hate the most is how much this governs my mood. If i'm having a 'thin day' its happiness and rainbows, singing in the shower. If i'm having a 'fat day' its doom, gloom and misery. Its utterly ridiculous. Ive no advice other than to say health and longevity are priceless, so we should try to find motivation in that. But not on Fridays, fridays are for cheese.

When I had to lose weight, Saturday was my treat day, so I’d have wine, a nice dinner and maybe some chocolate. Looking forward to that really kept me on the straight and narrow. You can’t and mustn’t deprive yourself of everything because it’s just not sustainable.

Excellent- strong in mind and body, which equals maintaining a healthy balance.

Thing is though, you need to make life long changes to your eating if you want to keep the weight off. The changes you have made to lose the weight are not sustainable if they are making you miserable and obsessed with food.

You would do better to lose weight more slowly, but in ways you can keep up. Your goal should not be to lose weight, but to make life long sustainable changes to how you eat. If you manage that, you will stop being obsessed with food rather than becoming more obsessed.

I’n talking from my own experience. It was hard work and took time ( about a year to change my obsession with food and compulsive overeating) but it’s worked for life ( did it about 25 years ago).

It’s been life changing.

You are on a diet so how can you say diets don’t work and then go on one?
if you have been intentionally losing weight then you have been on some kind of a diet

OP, one thing that helps me to stay focussed is to think that it’s not a temporary diet that a fat me has to follow. Instead, I frame it and almost believe that I am healthy eating person who just makes healthy choices for my well being. I hope that makes some sort of sense. It’s about belief that I am / can be that slim and healthy person that has motivation and resource, instead someone why just tries to have ago.

I agree. The tracking app is brilliant because it doesn’t judge good and bad calories. Some of the things I previously avoided it turns out are fine! I’ve had takeaways and all sorts being just a bit careful. No intention of giving up wine either, and other diets over egg it to put you off drinking any whereas the tracker is just honest about the calories.