I’ve lost 52 pounds but I’m just kinda over it now

[Whis]

It’s taken almost a year. Lost it via diet changes- minimal carbs, no snacking, no takeaways, minimal wine etc.

But I’m just so over it. I’m just at a loss with what to do. I’ve had a wee cry. Just wish this was all done with.

I probably have another 20 pounds to go. I’m sick of being in diet mode.

I feel physically better. But it’s mental torture. I’m sick of being “good”.

A YEAR of this shit and I’m still not there.

I don’t want to think about food in this level of detail anymore. I want to go to the pub and eat a plate of fish and chips, with several glasses of wine and a slice of cheesecake. Without that fear and guilt. I have cheat days but they’re not worth the stress it causes so I just don’t bother.

So I wouldn’t say I follow a diet. I just have three meals a day - nothing too carb heavy but I certainly don’t avoid pasta or bread. And instead of snacking on pastries and chocolate I now eat fruit and lots of veg dipped in cottage cheese (new favourite). I think this way of eating is very sustainable not the bit I have an issue with.

I just deny myself probably more than I should because I fear feeling guilty for having that slice of cake. Which causes psychological pressure. Ie the constant denying myself.

My maintenance will be around 300/400 calories more than what I am currently eating - I have now started exercising so that helps A LOT. Was too embarrassed to step foot in a gym before. So I will be able to have that slice of cake with a cuppa a couple of times a week when I’m in maintenance. Which I look forward to.

My weight loss journey has been about incremental changes cause I obviously want to keep it off. Weighing myself weekly is also a habit I will keep.

But it’s not fun right now. I want my cake. I’m sick of my fruit pot EVERY single time I meet up with a friend for a coffee.

That’s epic, well done

Then eat the cake!!!! Sit there and enjoy it. You’re not doing it every day.

Oh mate I feel you!

I am at 3st loss another 3 to go and I am also totally over it now.

The novelty has worn off and the urges and cravings are back.

I am working really hard to stop seeing food as a treat. Have you considered having something as an interim goal or to encourage motivation? Eg every week you stay on track with your food changes you our say a tenner in a jar towards something you want? Try and pick something you would otherwise not be able to afford.

It's so hard when you stop seeing what your working for.

Life's too short to not have a cake 🙂

I miss my sweet treats that I would have with a coffee. Or a pudding after a meal out. I don’t mind so much avoiding the crazy calorific main meals. Ie when we last went out I had a gorgeous seafood linguine which was around 700 calories less than the item I would have ordered prior to being conscious of my weight.

I just miss the indulgent moments. I have probably over corrected and need to find a way to introduce treats without feeling guilty.

Good luck. It’s worth it. As much as I am having a moan and a pity party right now. I feel like I am the old me.

That's an awesome loss.

If its any help - if you had fish and chips, cheesecake and wine, you will probably feel really sick.

Maybe one of those things at a time but not all together!

I am very much an all or nothing kind of person.

Can you do your cals over a week and then adjust do 1 or 2 days you are higher cal and other days a bit lower.
Then if you are out with friend have the cake that’s a higher cal day.
Well done on your loss.

Firstly, you’ve done brilliantly. Well done.

The thing with diets is that really you need to build healthy eating habits that you can sustain. It’s not a case of go in a diet, lose weight then go back to your old habits and all will be fine.

So, give yourself little treats regularly, whilst sticking to a mainly healthy food intake. It’s really hard to keep denying yourself entirely. Not many of us can do that forever.

But work out your triggers and avoid them. For example, if I open a large chocolate bar thinking I’ll have just one row, I know deep down I won’t, I’ll eat the whole lot. So I avoid that, and might buy myself a Freddo
instead (how expensive are they these days!!)

And you’ve hit the nail on the head with snacks - stock your house with healthy snacks that you like. For me that is chicken, ham, seafood sticks, itsu seaweed.

And if funds allow, buy yourself a new piece of clothing if that makes you appreciate your weight loss even more.

Good luck.

I would have the cake, sometimes. Just not every time. I think the constant feeling of denial and guilt is really damaging in the long run. A bit of cake once in a while really isn't going to cause 52lbs to return (well done, btw!) but maintenance needs to be sustainable and realistic.

I agree with a pp who said that the novelty of the stuff you think you're craving wears off pretty quick. I bet if you have the cake / pudding now and again you'll soon realise that it's not quite as fabulous as you remember! I'm pretty much always disappointed in restaurant puddings / coffee shop cakes etc and wonder why I bothered wasting the calories.

You are still in a "diet" frame of mind, instead of a "new lifestyle" one. This is not sustainable.

I want to go to the pub and eat a plate of fish and chips, with several glasses of wine and a slice of cheesecake.
There's no reason why you CANNOT do these things, now and in 10 years.
Smaller portions of fish and chips, only a glass of wine or 2. Calculate the calories and manage the rest of the day accordingly to stay on track.

Have a SMALLER slice of cheesecake another day, and again, just include the calories in your daily intake.

It's only about calories. After a year you likely don't need to track and can estimate accurately, but just look at details for such a meal.

Eating smaller portions of what you like in a day/ week and stick with lower-calorie items to feel full is normal, and not the same as feeling you are constantly depriving yourself. You are not. We are too much about "treat food" in this country, not enough as "food is fuel, not more".

I've been reading about this as also struggling with motivation. Apparently it is actively positive to have a break from calorie deficit for a week or two very 12 weeks or so. So move to a maintenance plan for a week or two (or longer) and then back on to calorie deficit. You'll need to do that anyway once you hit your goal so see it as practice!

I think you've done amazingly well, and need a break where you just maintain for a while. Think of it like slowly descending a rocky mountain on foot, this next bit is a flat section of the pathway down, it's flat, but you're still making progress towards the bottom.

Disclaimer here, I’ve never dieted but what really struck me here is how miserable you are with it all and I cannot blame you at all.

You don’t have to do all or nothing. So you don’t have to go out and have fish and chips and cheesecake in one sitting. For me it would be a portion of chips at the beach. Or an ice cream. Or we go out for just dessert. One smaller treat more regularly. Could that help at all?
Have your coffee and cake with your friend.

Calculate the calories and manage the rest of the day accordingly to stay on track.

Exactly. I had a fry-up for brunch today - eggs, sausage, black pudding, bacon, beans. Just not a massive plateful, no bread and butter (because that's my downfall and I know it bloats me) and everything air-fried, weighed and tracked. It was absolutely delicious and hit the spot. It means I'll have to account for it this evening and just have a small, light meal and no cheeky Sunday afternoon snacks, but that's ok.

Sure, sometimes I'd love to be able to eat the way I did in my 20s when I didn't have to worry and still had a flat stomach regardless of what I ate / drank. But I simply can't. At the same time, I'm not going to deny myself every damn time because otherwise life is miserable!

Strive to be strong, rather than thin. That’s what changed my mindset.

This is how I eat. I don’t really even have to calorie count at this point. A year in I know I can have scrambled eggs, a couple of sausages, tomatoes and mushrooms and be totally fine. I am not restrictive with my meals. Beyond just not having crazy portions. Or a double serving of carbs. I know if I had a heavier lunch then a stir fry for dinner is my best bet.

I’m just sick of the mental calculations and the constant vigilance if that makes sense. Eating is so annoying now. I’m sick of having food hanging over me.

I think if I were you I'd move to really enjoying your new body and life in general - buy some clothes that really show off the weight you've lost and maybe try some new things. It's great you are doing more exercise - that will really help with maintenance. Slightly increase food so you can enjoy the foods you are missing but keep an eye on your measurements.

You've achieved so much. You should be super proud.

A break to maintain before you return for that final 20 pounds may be easier for your body to maintain.

OP I am a sweet addict. One of my cheats is to buy some 100% dark chocolate with orange from Montezumas (sugar free) and melt it down with some sugar free muslei - like rice crispy cakes. Might help to stop you feeling quite so miserable.

J think you are totally right. By denying myself the treats I am actually making things MUCH harder than needs be. I have just developed a bit of a hang up with non healthy snacks.

Wow! you have been amazing. Have you been replacing food treats with other rewards, like new clothes and hairdressers? You certainly deserve it and it might make your new lifestyle seem less punitive.

I agree with PP, that some new foods would give you a boost.

I get you. Can you just change the diet you are doing so you still lose but you mix it up a bit. eg. you could do OMAD or strict carnivore, or lion diet. You don't have to stick with it forever, but the difference in what you are doing now might make you be ok with doing it short term. I do strict carnivore and you drop weight like crazy, but Im still stuffing my face! It doesnt feel like a diet at all.

It’s very difficult.
I’ve never been higher than 12 and half stone so I can’t imagine eating enough to be, say 15 stone.
However my ideal is 9 and half. I’ve previously got to a few lbs over 10 and just couldn’t carry on eating as little as I needed to. I can’t imagine how people exist at less than 9 stone.
I don’t know how you shift the psychology to permanently eating less.

You’ve done amazingly.