Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask which celebrities would be really annoying to be married to?

547 replies

drspouse · 18/05/2025 09:48

Inspired by DS obsession with Steve Backshall.

He would be off round the world "too busy to do childcare darling", would come home reeking of bar poo, and would insist on taking the children to play with venomous snakes "it won't hurt them if they don't bother it".

OP posts:
WtafIsThat · 18/05/2025 14:57

Bear Grylls. Always off ‘surviving’ somewhere.

CorporaINobbyNobbs · 18/05/2025 14:58

Hufflemuff · 18/05/2025 10:37

Mark Whalberg. I actually like him, but his workout routine would piss me off. Doesn't he wake up at 4am and go to bed at 8pm to maximise working out or some shit.

Its too much!

Isn’t it 2.30am? Imagine!

Tomatotater · 18/05/2025 15:03

123ZYX · 18/05/2025 12:36

@drspouseSteve Backshall is married to Olympian Helen Glover. I heard a radio interview with her before the last Olympics about motherhood and training and she explained how they combine timetables to make sure one of them is always around for the children. I the lifestyle wouldn’t suit me and you obviously can never tell what happens behind closed doors, but it did sound like a very balanced relationship that worked for their family

Yes thats what I was going to say. They have 3 kids, and he must have had full charge of them for the whole of the Paris Olympics, plus training etc, so hardly a 'leave her to it while I wander around the world' Dad. Although I agree he would be taking them on wild camps and getting them to touch snakes!

fairydolphin · 18/05/2025 15:05

Andoutcomethewolves · 18/05/2025 14:35

Sting also. 7 hour long sex sessions, can you imagine the chafing?? Poor Trudy

To be fair, he did say the 7 hours included dinner and a movie

Tomatotater · 18/05/2025 15:07

fairydolphin · 18/05/2025 15:05

To be fair, he did say the 7 hours included dinner and a movie

Show quote history

Oh did he? I always thought the 7 hours tantric sex sounded bloody horrific ( and something only rich people would have the time to do!)

PrincessHoneysuckle · 18/05/2025 15:10

Richard Madeley

Hotafternoon · 18/05/2025 15:15

Jeremy Clarkson

tripleginandtonic · 18/05/2025 15:15

PrincessOfPreschool · 18/05/2025 14:05

DS gave me a 'Would you rather..' once. Would I rather be married to Boris Johnson or Jeremy Clarkson? It was a tough one. I said Bojo cos I didn't think the marriage would last too long!

Ugh, your ds must hate you to put that thought in your mind

ConstantlyFuriosa · 18/05/2025 15:16

Butchyrestingface · 18/05/2025 13:07

Colin Farrell. Could be wrong but I imagine he'd be a hard dog to keep on the porch.

Gosh, I love this. I’m stealing it.

ConstantlyFuriosa · 18/05/2025 15:17

Who would be insufferable. Hmm. Someone like Farage, pontificating at length.

Mummyoflabradors · 18/05/2025 15:19

Daddy pig, his tummy’s too big🤷‍♀️

Original poster
drspouse · 18/05/2025 15:23

BlueEyedBogWitch · 18/05/2025 14:04

I would totally want to be married to Bruce Springsteen, especially the young version. I’m sure we’ve all seen the photo…

Having his mates round all the time would probably get annoying though.

Show quote history

Oh definitely, he'd just go off into the garage with them and leave you to wipe the toddler's nose, wouldn't he?

OP posts:
Original poster
drspouse · 18/05/2025 15:26

WtafIsThat · 18/05/2025 14:57

Bear Grylls. Always off ‘surviving’ somewhere.

And the shouting, and he'd want to live next to the river so he could randomly baptise celebs in it.

OP posts:
Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 18/05/2025 15:28

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 18/05/2025 13:25

I have a 25 year crush on Dickie Madeley and it's still going strong!

I always think Joe Swash would be a nightmare but after seeing Stacey's entitled, biligerant rant over not winning a BAFTA (cannot for the live of me understand why she felt the need to post it. Rant your disappointment privately, sure. But who wants the world to know you are a ungracious, sore loser) I don't think there's much to put between the pair of them.

Edited
Show quote history

Dear me - are you attracted to his mullet, his smug know-it-all persona or his poor interview technique of long, involved questions he then answers himself?

Coffeeishot · 18/05/2025 15:29

WtafIsThat · 18/05/2025 14:57

Bear Grylls. Always off ‘surviving’ somewhere.

Oh I agree he would be really irritating and he'd poke holes in things with his pen knife for no reason!

Waitingfordoggo · 18/05/2025 15:29

BarneyRonson · 18/05/2025 13:12

Any celebrity would be annoying. Performative character traits are inherently annoying.

Yes this. A very large proportion of celebrities are confident, extrovert and attention-seeking (especially those who act/sing/perform)- they have to be because that’s the nature of the job. I don’t enjoy the company of attention-seeking people/people who perform or put on a front/monologue at others. So it’s just a big no from me to all of them.

AddictedToBooks · 18/05/2025 15:30

NeverOneBiscuit · 18/05/2025 11:00

Vernon Kay. He rose to fame from a reality show (modelling). On a behind the scenes for his radio show, he was eye rolling & complaining about having to interview ‘these reality people.’

Jeremy Vine. Pompous, virtue signalling bore who’d be polishing his penny farthing in the orangery.

Alexander Armstrong. See above 👆minus the penny farthing.

My boss met Vernon Kay and said he was very arrogant and thinks he's above everyone else.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 18/05/2025 15:34

This question would be easier to answer the other way around....too many are just awful!

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/05/2025 15:39

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 18/05/2025 13:25

I have a 25 year crush on Dickie Madeley and it's still going strong!

I always think Joe Swash would be a nightmare but after seeing Stacey's entitled, biligerant rant over not winning a BAFTA (cannot for the live of me understand why she felt the need to post it. Rant your disappointment privately, sure. But who wants the world to know you are a ungracious, sore loser) I don't think there's much to put between the pair of them.

Edited
Show quote history

I've had a soft spot for Richard Madeley for years as well! I'd love a chat with Judy too

tilypu · 18/05/2025 15:39

Laurence Fox
Anthea Turner
Tom Meighan
Any politician
Many rappers
Kanye
Judy Love
Any comedian because you just know you'll end up featured in their set

EachandEveryone · 18/05/2025 15:41

Springsteen is another clean living celeb though he’s not like his persona at all. You could only have so much protein a day and no boozing.

SurferRona · 18/05/2025 15:45

David Tennant
Alistair Campbell
(These 2^^ are made worse by their comparing appearances next to the lovely talented Michael Sheen and Rory Stewart)
Jamie Oliver
Keith Allen. Viscerally so.

Someone2025 · 18/05/2025 15:48

PaperBlinds · 18/05/2025 10:39

Surely all of them. Except Matthew Mcfadyen.

Yeah, he’s cute, loved him in Succession

Someone2025 · 18/05/2025 15:50

drspouse · 18/05/2025 09:48

Inspired by DS obsession with Steve Backshall.

He would be off round the world "too busy to do childcare darling", would come home reeking of bar poo, and would insist on taking the children to play with venomous snakes "it won't hurt them if they don't bother it".

I’d imagine most celebrities are full of their own self importance, they would have to be the ‘main character’ in any relationship so wouldn’t be that interested in many of them

tartyflette · 18/05/2025 15:53

AlwaysTheRenegade · 18/05/2025 12:15

Giles Coran 😷

And another vote here. Awful man. (And it's all his late father's fault, according to GC himself. )
You just get the vibe that his Dad didn't like him very much. I wonder why?

Meanwhile his sister seems to be a reasonably nice person, and bright too.