Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

I had my kids quite young, so I was only 45/46 when they left home, and DH was 42/43. We are now in our 50's and have a very nice lifestyle, with Adult only type holidays etc, and I've noticed that some of our friends with small kids are a bit jealous. Nothing is ever directly said, but it's obvious. I feel like reminding them that when we were in the thick of parenting young children, they were jet setting, and night clubbing till 4am!!

I don't think anyone cares what others do in real life aslong as it doesn't impact them

I’m childfree and have never done this.

Then again, I have a yard of horses to see to twice a day, so I just have a different kind of children that still require 5am alarms and late nights and no freedom to go away or have a day out without trying to find cover for the yard.

Some parents do, most parents don't - just like some people who choose to be childfree despise parents and most don't. The hate tends to be worse in echo chambers where people feed off of and spiral into more violent and dehumanizing rhetoric.

I don't think remarks about jealousy or even bitterness equate to hate. Ill-informed snap judgements, most likely, but it isn't hate, anymore than the parents I know who tell people who are considering kids to 'enjoy your money being yours/the holidays you want while you can' isn't hate against kids, even when I disagree with how they're painting parenthood.

Do you have empathy for the Childfree, that they might not want them in certain places.

I have empathy, though that's not a childfree-only desire.

I wouldnt mind having you over for dinner then 😄

I have met childfree people that do this. They go on and on about how great their lives are without kids

I think it’s true that we childfree people have spent a lot more time and effort thinking about the impact of children on our lives and do we really not want them, than people who had them because of biological urge.

I couldn’t care less whether someone has children or not. It has nothing to do with me. I have a child and friends with loads of childfree friends

My childfree family and friends include:

a married couple in their 60s who have been unable to have children despite several attempts at IVF

a married woman who told me over 40 years when we were in our early 20s that she never wanted children

single men and women aged 50+ who would have liked to have children but never found the right person to have them with

single men and women in their 20s-40s who hope to have children once they have found the right person, but in the case of the older ones are starting to think it probably won’t happen

various single and married people who I don’t know well enough to know whether or not they would like to have/to have had children

couples in their 20s-30s who plan to have children together once the time is right

two young women (20s) who say they never want children.

Why would I hate any of them? The ones who don’t have children by choice are being very sensible. Why bring unwanted children into this world?

I’m always sceptical about people who go on and on about stuff -whether it’s not liking it or liking it. Why give it so much head space?!

I don’t hate the childfree, better to be childfree than a shitty parent (there are so many of those it’s untrue). Equally, I don’t think having children makes you particularly altruistic, it’s just a choice. Not a very interesting one either.

They obviously don’t have horses then 😂

I agree. I couldn't care less if people don't have children but why would I have empathy for a child free person not wanting children in certain places.

We live in society where people are free to come and go as they please. Children have every right to be in places they are allowed to be in whether people want them there or not and I'm certainly not going to avoid taking children places in fear of upsetting someone who may not want them there. If childfree don't want to be around children either stay at home or go to the pub after 8pm when kids aren't allowed in.

Hate is a strong word

however we are all guilty ( probably) of looking at someone else’s life and seeing only the good bits or only the bad bits and wanting or not wanting that

the grass isn’t always greener on the the other side

Sorry OP but I agree with this poster - and I don’t mean people who are childfree and using this site - how would I know anyway! But there are some poster who go out of their way to say how much they hate children. Which is weird - people wouldn’t say they despise elderly people etc. so why is it SOME people say they hate kids?! Just odd.

But then I wouldn’t draw an unnatural conclusion that ALL childfree people hate children. Some people - in all groups - are just weird.

I don't hate childfree people, no. I have childfree friends. I could describe one of them as selfish with her lifestyle choices but that's not necessarily a negative. She can afford to be as she doesn't have independent children to prioritise. It's her life, she's happy. I'm happy with my children.

I was child free for most of my life of course I don't hate child free people.

I do have an issue with people who begrudge children living their normal lives which includes playing, making reasonable noise or being seen. One person's right to exist doesn't trump another's just because of their age.

I have 3 kids and have plenty of child free parents in their 40s as me . I don’t hate them on any way .
I do have a issue with people who seem to think children are a menace to society but thankfully the 3 couples we get along regularly are not this way and actually all enjoy children

It never gets into my head to think anything about the child free as I don’t see them as some homogeneous group. I know as humans we love to see patterns and group people together and tell ourselves stories . Any sentence that says all x’s are y in terms of personality traits I mean is rubbish.

But childfree people don't half bang on about being child free 🙄
They're worse than vegans, just inserting it into random conversations, telling everyone how much sleep they get, unprovoked 🙄🙄

I'm child free by choice but don't bang on about it. I wouldn't be so rude as to make comments like that to people with children. And I'm more likely to go on about how little sleep I've had. I'm a terrible sleeper and really struggle with sleep. However I find if I mention being tired because I've had a bad night you get the inevitable comments from parents about you can't be tired, try having kids. This is despite me having insomnia, arthritis and CFS I'm not allowed to be tired or couldn't possibly be as tired as anyone with kids. So rude.

The hate towards Childfree people is real.

You’ve stated on this post that you haven’t encountered said hatred irl. So, the entire basis of this is two threads on Mumsnet?

I have never experienced this. The only people I know to hate the childfree are social conservatives.

Most hatred I see is from the childfree to parents and children.

I don’t hate the childfree.

But I get the sense some of them hate me and my children, mainly from the anti-child and parent posts on a site called “mumsnet” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

You’ve literally started a thread because you are so het up about what strangers on the internet say. Why do you care?

Horses for courses! I wanted children and was lucky enough to have them but I understand people who don't want them. No need to polarise matters.