Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

Too bad though. Children are part of the general public, if you go in public other people will be there.
You can choose to have your own home be childfree but you can’t control the world.

Couldn't care less. You're being ridiculous

Huh? I’m a parent and I don’t hate child-free people! In fact, as much as I love my kids, I envy their spare income, lack of ties etc. I have lots of friends who are child-free, lots of them by choice. My only real feeling about it is that I feel guilty I don’t have as much time for them as I had before kids. I hope it will change as my kids get older.

I don't care what people people think. I do care what people say. Because strangers on the internet don't only exist on the internet. They're also real life humans out there in the wild. And the more I see rhetoric online about how kids shouldn't be in museums or in restaurants or on planes or wherever, the more I'll feel in real life like me and my kids aren't welcome in those spaces. The more I see people saying kids are annoying, bratty, gross etc., the less comfortable I will feel existing in public spaces where we're entitled to be.

Think about what you're saying. Would you shrug off hateful online rhetoric about women by asking why we care what strangers online think? No, you'd recognise that online hate has real life consequences.

Being childfree isn't an issue. Having children when they don't actively really want them and then don't invest the time and care needed is the issue, not people who are aware they don't want to do that deciding not to.

Fucking hell 🤣, it’s not even remotely online hate. I’ve heard it all now. People have found kids irritating as fuck since the dawn of day. But the world keeps turning and all is good.
Un-martyr yourself, and if the shit you read online annoys you, don’t read it. Because I’m pretty sure if you take your kids to a park and they are loud, no one will come up to you and say ‘your kids are doing my sodding head in’. All this crap you absorb online is distorting your view of reality.

No one gives a shit.

As the parent of two children under five I have absolutely no mental bandwidth to consider whether I have any feelings about people who have chosen not to have children.

Why does this not apply to your OP?

I actually think there’s far more hate the other way. If you’re going to cherry pick occasional comments, it came to light on here a while back that tattle life has a childfree thread which is just full of hate towards mums/children/parents on it. They don’t discuss anything else in there apart from rip parents and children to shreds and make nasty comments about mothers bodies.

It’s really common to be childfree now, most of my friends are and they’re very happy, we’ve all made the right decisions for us personally. Honestly barely anyone in real life cares. most just get on with their own lives. There can be bitterness both ways but that’s just people who aren’t happy with their own lives.

Don’t flatter yourself. Nobody cares.

I don’t think that good parents hate the childfree, it’s those that don’t parent their DC to understand that they coexist in a world/society where their actions have consequences - as in massively disturb or disrupt other people’s lives, that are universally hated.
The number of people who lack the will to parent their children in public spaces, or discipline them, or show them the life skills required to E.g. attend school, keep quiet in certain situations, have the iPad (if you must, although that restaurant visit is an ideal opportunity for children to enhance their table manners) on headphones at a restaurant and not blaring out audio, use cutlery properly Etc. Is on the rise unfortunately.

Yes I am happy in life. I don’t see how my posts makes me angry? Simply stating that there is hate towards childfree people, used two examples on this site. And explained my reason. Are you happy with your life?

You don't seem very happy

I don't hate anyone at all....until they're an arsehole to me or my child.

Couldn't care less what other people do with their lives as long as it doesn't harm other people.

I do think hating a whole group of people in general is weird, be that children or childfree people

Agree with this.

Excluding children from public spaces or making them unwelcome is disproportionately going to affect women, because that’s who still does the majority of the childcare. So by default you’re excluding women too.

Children are one of, if not THE most vulnerable group in society. They’re human and they deserve respect. It’s not ok to post that you hate old people, disabled people or black people - it shouldn’t be ok to post that you hate very young people either - and I do see it quite a bit online.

No issue with childfree or childless people whatsoever- I was until 40 and my best friend is happily childfree - her life looks lovely and I’m envious of some parts of it whilst I still wouldn’t swap. I’ll be honest she’s stayed a closer and better friend to me as I’ve navigated parenthood than other friends who are parents.

I am Op

it is odd because on the very thread you are referring to you say

But people hate lots of things. You can’t police other people’s opinions.
So you don’t believe this anymore Op?

in any event OP, you’re getting yourself worked up about what even on this very thread kind of indicates…. Teeny tiny minority.

but you seem quite determined to carry on getting het up

coffee and fresh air?

But by the same token, ‘why do you care if they [in your case, they being parents] think or say that? I mean it’s not going to impact your life one bit what a stranger on the internet says?’

I don't care. My children are 18 and 16 now, I think there is a small section of your life when having children/not having children/talking about children can be all encompassing but once you are past that it all matters so much less. I'm so glad I had kids, my teenagers are great company and great humans but at this point in my life I hopefully have a lot of life to lead(I'm not yet 40) where children aren't a huge feature too.

Life is long for lots of us if we are lucky and there are lots of different 'seasons', just one of them is really focused on the question of children/raising children. I know some people seem militant about dividing lines between those who have children and those who don't but I think that's mainly the Internet. In real life I have friends with and without. I see quite a lot of the friends without children at the minute because we both have a lot of free time given my kids are teens/adult and less of the friends with small children because they are busy doing the hands on stuff but I know that will change with time too.

Some have more knowledge than parents in certain areas. I have potty trained thousands of children more than any of my parent friends have. I can therefore easily advise parents on how to potty train their children, problems they may face, helpful tips etc. So a parent with a potty training problem not asking advice from someone who has more knowledge than them because they are childfree is somewhat short-sighted.

believe what?

Jealousy. I have children and of course I don’t hate childfree people. But my goodness I’m jealous of their freedom. We went to BBQ yesterday. Most people there were parents of kids and babies (10 and under). Everyone said they have to get home for bathtime, bedtime, story, the rigmarole of getting excited kids in bed. But one couple with no kids were just going home and doing sweet FA, absolute bliss that you just can’t imagine when you have a busy family life.

I'm child free and if anything, I see parents being supportive of child free people on MN. Most of the comments pull posters up if digs are made. Likewise, I don't like snide comments about child free people enjoying benefits of not having kids, unless they are made in a relevant context.

I mean it’s not going to impact your life one bit what a stranger on the internet says?

This is brilliant.

You’re trawling mumsnet and insta literally looking for posts which offend you. People who are happy with their choices don’t do that. You keep repeating “hate” accompanied by digital foot stamping and hoping for evidence people online and in real life are giving as much head space to your choices as you are theirs.

It’s not sounding terribly healthy. There’s a childfree board on here where you’ll find likeminded posters but this thread is very silly.

That goes both ways. If by your logic it’s fine to not like children, then really it must also be fine to not like the childfree. They are both equally ridiculous positions.

I agree with the person above who said that a tiny number of (online only) childfree people like OP seem to think that in to respect someone’s decision (or circumstance) to be childfree is not the same as to respect their right to discriminate against children.