AIBU to say that not everything can be inclusive all the time?

[Summeriscumin]

A former student has asked for advice and I'm a bit stumped.

She has been running a drama club for 11 - 16 year olds in the village hall. The aim is an introduction to various theatre and circus skills.

These include vocal skills, breathing exercises, trust exercises, mime, juggling, acro, improvisation, script reading aloud, devising scenes and basic contemporary dance skills. It's been going very well and the subs are paying for the hall hire, so she isn't out of pocket.

But she's afraid she's going to have to give it up. A mum came along her son, a wheelchair user, asking to join and he was welcomed. My friend (C) explained what the sessions entailed and said there may be some that her son may not be able to participate in. Specifically she meant the energetic dance stuff and some circus skills and there was an issue with some trust exercises. - DCs have their eyes closed and move around and the wheelchair could prove dangerous.

The lad came for a couple of weeks and seemed to really enjoy it and C tried to make it as inclusive as possible without depriving the others of their skills training. They work in small groups so she always made sure there was a group he could work with.

However, this week the mother has said that her son must be included in everything or it's discrimination and that she should stop the exercises that he cannot participate in.

C says she may as well just give it up as that's just not fair on the others.

AIBU in thinking this mother is BU? I feel so sorry for C who has done her best to include the lad.

You are missing the point that if someone is disabled, especially if they are obviously disabled, like being a wheelchair user, no one EXPECTS things they do as a physical activity, to be EXACTLY the same as everyone else! If you watch high level or professional dance groups with wheelchair and non-wheeler using dancers, they won't always be doing the same thing! Sometimes they will be doing complimentary moves, like the walking ones going up on their tip-toes, while the wheelchair ones lift both arms straight in the air. If C is a proper dance teacher with a really good knowledge of dance moves, if really shouldn't take that much more of her time to include the child. If she needs inspiration, search Wheelchair dance troupe AGT.

You make it sound like there are "Wheelchair Dance Teachers" who are specifically trained to teach wheelchair users and no-one without that knowledge can teach them!!! You are VERY mistaken if you think this.

I’m not sure she’s said she’s a proper dance teacher with a really good knowledge of dance moves. OP says it’s a drama club with some circus/dance elements she’s running for kids for free. There’s no onus on her to do more than she is, any more than it’s on this mum to train up to run a drama club to her own specifications.

You are missing the point that if someone is disabled, especially if they are obviously disabled, like being a wheelchair user, no one EXPECTS things they do as a physical activity, to be EXACTLY the same as everyone else!

Spectacularly missing the point again. The whole object of that ONE exercise is for them to move in unison with exactly the same moves, as I have explained several times. Why can you not understand that? It's to train them - not for an audience.

She is not going to run the group around the needs of one child.

Given some attitudes here maybe she should just give up.

There are many things that can’t be made accessible for all and to then remove them for everyone would render the activity pointless.

swimming classes. For someone who relies on an oxygen tank.

Obstacle courses. For someone with no limbs.

choir. For the tone deaf.

You can be inclusive by making reasonable adjustments eg if they are doing an eyes closed trust activity, another option should be provided that’s also trust based but doesn’t require standing. You can adapt everything with a little imagination eg circus skills can be mostly be done seated, obviously not unicycling but juggling can. Dance is very possible in a wheelchair. Rather than a barrier it’s about thinking how it can enhance the experience for everyone.

@Summeriscumin

but yes they are moving in unison but the wheelchair bound student can be given an adaptive routine, it’s about thinking more broadly. Those of us who have worked with inclusion in the community know it can be done very successfully

An adaptive routine, in this instance, ruins the whole point of the exercise for the others. There are other opportunities for adapted dance moves but not in this instance, it isn't fair on the others.

Where does the funding for the group come from, because often funders provide support for improving inclusion and diversity. If she can make this work now your friend will then be able to make a really solid case for funding to expand the project’s inclusively objectives I. The next funding round. I agree that “reasonable” is very subjective, by the way and I have a lot of empathy for your friend. Absolutely horrible when you’re working so hard as a volunteer only to find out you might be doing something “wrong”. I would advise her to reach out to disability groups, as well as any contacts the family of the child might have.

But then surely this is tailoring the whole class around the abilities of this one boy, who can't participate fully?

It's self funded. A little hobby group in the village hall. The subs pay for the hall hire and use of some equipment owned by the hall.

She doesn't have the time or inclination to use more of her free time in search of funding. I suspect she's considering teaching as a career and this is a bit of a tester.

I honestly don't think she is doing anything wrong and is doing what she can to include the lad without spoiling the experience for the others. It's a delicate line to tread.

Not every child in the group is able to do all the exercises. That's the way of the world. :)

again, why is it OK to leave out one? How is it fair that no attempt is made to include just the one child who is already feeling different enough sitting in their wheelchair and just wants to be included in all the activities, one way or another?

It's not a group without a disabled child where the sky's the limit for everyone. It's a group with a disabled child which requires some adjustment to include said child. It doesn't have to mean that all the other children are stopped from reaching their potential, does it?

OP says the subs cover the hall hire. This is not a situation involving funding applications and I suspect if it had to become that, it would stop.

It doesn't have to mean that all the other children are stopped from reaching their potential, does it?

Yes, it does. But you seem unable to see that. In the case of a very few exercises this lad and a couple of others who claim dyspraxia can't participate. Although C thinks the dyspraxia is tongue in cheek because dance is too girly. :)

No one has to do any exercise they aren't comfortable with or feel unable to do. It isn't ballet school.

The problem is, when you set something like this up you really do have a responsibility to ensure the space is inclusive to all and frankly, if your friend is or wants to be a teacher, she’ll know that. This isn’t downhill mountain biking we’re talking about here and having children with disabilities in the class shouldn’t be seen as “ruining the experience” for others at all.

That just isn't true, though. Only reasonable adjustments are required. or there would be no sports or athletics teams, or ballet schools, or mountain bike clubs.

If you go to musical theatre you will have seen the chorus in action. Moving in unison, exactly at the same time. That's what they sometimes do in the hall. Not for the full 2 hours, just one group for part of the session. I really cannot see a problem with that. No reasonable person would.

If you do maybe you should lobby to close down all sports and dance schools tomorrow. Or stop people going upstairs in National Trust houses because I can't get my wheelchair up there.

Daft.

As someone who works in a field directly related to the EA she is fine. The requirement is to make reasonable adjustments. She’s doing that.

Thank you, that's very reassuring.

No Problem :)

Cos voluntarily running one group in your spare time isn't enough.....🙄

How on earth do you know just from someone typing on a forum what disabilities they have/don't have?? What a ridiculous assumption.

Your friend sounds very reasonable op but I would encourage her to keep records and make sure she has insurance. Better safe than sorry.

Yes, I agree.

@Jumpingthruhoops you quoted me but I can’t find your post again. No she doesn’t need to change the whole class, she gives the kids the option of spinning plates or diabloo (child in wheel chair does plates), for dance everyone learns the dance but he does any adapted version of it, while kids are doing more physical things he learns from the magic kit.

My mum quit being a beaver and cub leader because of the constant demands from parents. One even wanted her to change her sons nappy wtf

I appreciate that in some dances, some movements have to be done in unison.
But how old are the children? At a certain age, they can surely understand the concept that the dance has to be in unison, and perform it as accurately as they can, whilst also understanding that Bobby might not be able to do it perfectly but is doing it as accurately as he can, and that's OK? Bobby joining in doesn't stop the others learning what they have to learn.
It's a community group, not the West End (and there are obviously more appropriate groups for children who are considering acting professionally.)

I'm writing this as someone with cerebral palsy who did Drama GCSE and A level and was a member of the school youth theatre, and I never felt excluded from the group - we just found ways I could do things slightly differently.