AIBU to say that not everything can be inclusive all the time?

[Summeriscumin]

A former student has asked for advice and I'm a bit stumped.

She has been running a drama club for 11 - 16 year olds in the village hall. The aim is an introduction to various theatre and circus skills.

These include vocal skills, breathing exercises, trust exercises, mime, juggling, acro, improvisation, script reading aloud, devising scenes and basic contemporary dance skills. It's been going very well and the subs are paying for the hall hire, so she isn't out of pocket.

But she's afraid she's going to have to give it up. A mum came along her son, a wheelchair user, asking to join and he was welcomed. My friend (C) explained what the sessions entailed and said there may be some that her son may not be able to participate in. Specifically she meant the energetic dance stuff and some circus skills and there was an issue with some trust exercises. - DCs have their eyes closed and move around and the wheelchair could prove dangerous.

The lad came for a couple of weeks and seemed to really enjoy it and C tried to make it as inclusive as possible without depriving the others of their skills training. They work in small groups so she always made sure there was a group he could work with.

However, this week the mother has said that her son must be included in everything or it's discrimination and that she should stop the exercises that he cannot participate in.

C says she may as well just give it up as that's just not fair on the others.

AIBU in thinking this mother is BU? I feel so sorry for C who has done her best to include the lad.

No, she needs to make reasonable adjustments so she could do hand exercises he can do, split into different groups who different things or he can learn a different specific skills which other don’t eg magic tricks.

The mother is definitely being unreasonable. Your friend made it clear not all exercises would cater for wheelchair users. I completely agree that not all things are inclusive and we need to teach our children that unfortunately that is life.

How would you feel if it were your child sitting on the sidelines through no fault of their own?

Glee proved wheelchair dancing could work.

I take the point about eyes being closed. How do blind people manage? That might be a starting point. Some creativity required. Join a relevant group on Facebook and ask questions? If you can become known for creative inclusivity there are loads of people who would bring their kids.

No, not everything can be inclusive all the time. There are often simple adjustments and people can be resistant to even small changes. However, fundamentally changing the activity isn’t required.

I often get excited by something I see only to realize there is no way I can participate. Even if we lived in a different world, the very nature of the activity would have to change for me to be involved. That is life with a disability. It sucks.

The child isn't sitting on the sidelines. I have already explained she makes sure he is in a group he can work with.

There is plenty he can do without depriving the others of their chance to learn skills.

However, this week the mother has said that her son must be included in everything or it's discrimination and that she should stop the exercises that he cannot participate in.

Are you sure someone's not winding you up?

It sounds far too ridiculous to be true.

Almost Daily Mail-esque.

That’s tricky. I wonder if the teacher can say she doesn’t have training yet to know what alternatives can be taught but she will look into further training.

C isn't making any money from the classes, I should have explained that.

I don't think it's a wind up. C is very upset.

No amount of further training will enable a child to do anything he/she isn't physically capable of doing. And why should those who are capable be deprived of the chance to learn?

Both DSs had chronic asthma and there were many things they could not participate in growing up - but that's life. I didn't expect the school to stop all sports.

perhaps an answer would be ‘this class isn’t suitable in all areas but we will look into more options for the future as demand grows?’ Trying to find a polite way of saying she can’t help right now?

That sounds fair. I'll suggest that to C, thanks.

It feels logical in that if her school grows she can offer a wider range of classes but until that time can’t

For energetic dancing they can just do a sitting version.

For moving around with eyes closed, then that would indeed be dangerous. I'd ask the mother to join in with this session to help make sure that no one falls onto him.

The mother is being unrealistic. Inclusive doesn't mean they have to be able to do EVERYTHING. Sometimes that is just physically impossible!

If the subs only just cover the hall hire then that isn't the best business model. How much is she charging??

Of course not all activities can be inclusive. All providers need to do is to make reasonable adjustments. She may be able to make adjustments for some activities and not for others.

She isn't running it as a business. She has a job - it's a community thing to give young people something constructive to do - like guides or scouts.

Glee proved wheelchair dancing could work.

Doesn't mean this class leader can teach it.

The mother sounds like she is spoiling for a fight to be honest. Why pick an activity where her son is at such a disadvantage. There’s must be loads of more suitable things.

Dies C, or the venue, hold health andcsafety insurance that could be invoked?

I cannot believe this idiot mother could make a discrimination claim stick. Otherwise any sports club in the country could be closed down by any wheelchair user.

I think C should tell this women to find an alternative activity. While notvfair onnthe child, it would also not be fair on the other children to be limited in what they can be taught.

Is she insured to run it and has she done all the risk assessments etc?

I don't think the mother is being particularly unreasonable and your former student should give some serious thought to stretching herself by actually considering how to make activities safely inclusive. There are loads of online resources out there (the first 2 of a long list from a search engine are below) if she was actually interested.

https://disabilityhorizons.com/2021/11/kate-stanforth-disabled-dance-teacher-empowering-inclusive-dance/

https://www.sense.org.uk/information-and-advice/for-professionals/sense-arts-and-wellbeing-for-professionals/resources-for-arts-and-wellbeing-practitioners/dance-activities-for-people-with-complex-disabilities/

I suggest she sets up a second group specifically for disabled/SEN kids. Where even those in wheelchairs can take part in all activities and make it work.

I don't know all the ins and outs but the hall has insurance and groups are covered. The manager walked her through the H & S for the venue.

C couldn't start up another unpaid group. One is enough, surely?

A lot of her time is also spent with the local musical theatre group - hence her interest in encouraging young people.

She may well have a duty to make reasonable adjustments under the law and I'm not sure she's actually done this.

From what you've written, it sounds like she's been putting this boy in groups where he can achieve the task as she's designed it, rather than thinking about how she can modify the task to achieve the same outcome. (Eg he doesn't do the eyes closed trust exercise because it might be dangerous - I'm not totally sure why?)

My experience has been that sometimes there is a more inclusive way to teach the skill you want them to learn. It's quite easy when you're teaching to think about lessons in terms of content eg we do x and y to build trust. But if you start from the outcome and work back, she might be able to find alternatives for the whole group. Sometimes this will seem a lot of work because inclusion is a lot of work, but it still might be a reasonable adjustment under law.

The key phrase is REASONABLE adjustment.

some things simply can’t be adjusted to include everyone. DS is disabled and I know there are many things he can’t access but I love it when places make little changes that make it possible.

Sometimes what makes something accessible to one person can be a barrier to someone else so it’s never simple!

(Eg he doesn't do the eyes closed trust exercise because it might be dangerous - I'm not totally sure why?)

The others have their eyes closed and may be run over by the wheelchair. They walk slowly with arms outstretched for obstacles. It's just one exercise but one they enjoy and find a challenge.

There are plenty of exercise that he can do and she makes sure he's in a supportive group. There are some movement exercise he can and does join in with but others that he can't. No need for the others not to do them.