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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strangers who think we all love their dog

381 replies

MaisieMouse87 · 17/05/2025 14:29

I'm a bit pissed off and need a rant. Sitting on the park with my kids, we had a large bottle of water nearly full, next to us on the grass. The top was off as one of the kids had just had some. The park is a large field and we were not near anyone else. We were minding our business.
These two women walked past with a dog on a lead. I didn't expect them to get as close as they did. They came literally right up to us. The dog (on the lead) came between me and the kids and licked the rim of the water bottle. One of the women did a tinkly laugh and I said " oh no" in an annoyed tone and told one of my kids that the water would have to go in the bin now. They just walked off grinning and I heard them say something like " imagine being like that over a dog."
I did not say anything but got up and threw it in the bin. If they'd said sorry it would have been alright or if the dog was off the lead I would have been annoyed still. But the way they actively led it over to us and allowed it to do that, then laughed about it. Aibu for being annoyed? It's not even really about the water. It's about having personal space invaded needlessly when I'm minding my own business by people who are nosy and need to see what I'm doing. And partly people with dogs who think it's acceptable because the dog likes people making a fuss of it. By the way I actually like dogs and have 2 but I have never allowed them to do this and actively keep them away from people in public.

OP posts:
LilacReader · 20/05/2025 18:33

MaisieMouse87 · 20/05/2025 18:06

If you know your dog has a tendency to run and jump up to people then I think it's common decency to keep it on a lead. One of my friends has a staff/ pitbull cross that is excitable and so she only lets him off lead at the dog park when she's booked the slot and they are the only ones there. He's huge and though he's friendly I can see how others might perceive him as frightening.

Couldn't agree more. My dog always stayed with me or came when called so was off lead. Now he's deaf and can't hear me call i put him on a lead. Some of us don't need a nanny state or a park to tell us how to be a mindful grown up!

SmallBox · 20/05/2025 19:35

OK - let me explain with an example from last year.

We live on the coast and have picnics on the beach most weekends in summer. These are strangers. Their dog runs up to our picnic and starts sniffing and slobbering around the food while we try to shoo it away. Owner saunters over 'oh gosh sooooooooooo sorry! He's terrible around picnics haha, hope he's not eaten too much of your food' or words to that effect and I say 'yes he has, loads of grapes and some chocolate biscuits as well as the sandwich he snatched out of my child's hand'. They leave, panicking.

We're not exchanging names or numbers. There are no CCJs. Nobody is suing me, what on earth could they sue me for? They have no idea what their dog ate because they were nowhere near it while it came up to us. I lied and told them their dog had eaten something dangerous. WHICH IT VERY EASILY COULD HAVE DONE BECAUSE IT WAS EATING OUR FOOD. I did not poison a dog. There is no risk if they control their animal. I am not even a tiny bit sorry.

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:04

SmallBox · 20/05/2025 19:35

OK - let me explain with an example from last year.

We live on the coast and have picnics on the beach most weekends in summer. These are strangers. Their dog runs up to our picnic and starts sniffing and slobbering around the food while we try to shoo it away. Owner saunters over 'oh gosh sooooooooooo sorry! He's terrible around picnics haha, hope he's not eaten too much of your food' or words to that effect and I say 'yes he has, loads of grapes and some chocolate biscuits as well as the sandwich he snatched out of my child's hand'. They leave, panicking.

We're not exchanging names or numbers. There are no CCJs. Nobody is suing me, what on earth could they sue me for? They have no idea what their dog ate because they were nowhere near it while it came up to us. I lied and told them their dog had eaten something dangerous. WHICH IT VERY EASILY COULD HAVE DONE BECAUSE IT WAS EATING OUR FOOD. I did not poison a dog. There is no risk if they control their animal. I am not even a tiny bit sorry.

There are many ways of tracing people and you have knowingly told them a lie - that their dog has eaten a life threatening substance - a CCJ has a much lower evidential standard, that of "balance of probability" to get a "guilty" verdict. Did the dog owner have good reason to get medical treatment for their dog - yes, they did because they had been told it had eaten a toxin - it now transpires that they had been given knowingly false information for a malicious purpose - revenge. Guilty as charged, pay the gets fees.

Hulabalu · 20/05/2025 20:12

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:04

There are many ways of tracing people and you have knowingly told them a lie - that their dog has eaten a life threatening substance - a CCJ has a much lower evidential standard, that of "balance of probability" to get a "guilty" verdict. Did the dog owner have good reason to get medical treatment for their dog - yes, they did because they had been told it had eaten a toxin - it now transpires that they had been given knowingly false information for a malicious purpose - revenge. Guilty as charged, pay the gets fees.

This! Your spiteful behaviour may come back to bite you in the ass PP!

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:20

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:04

There are many ways of tracing people and you have knowingly told them a lie - that their dog has eaten a life threatening substance - a CCJ has a much lower evidential standard, that of "balance of probability" to get a "guilty" verdict. Did the dog owner have good reason to get medical treatment for their dog - yes, they did because they had been told it had eaten a toxin - it now transpires that they had been given knowingly false information for a malicious purpose - revenge. Guilty as charged, pay the gets fees.

Yep, and it will hit the dog owner in the pocket and also cause a lot of worry, and that is not to mention the trauma the dog will have to go through being treated at the vet.

Hulabalu · 20/05/2025 20:22

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:20

Yep, and it will hit the dog owner in the pocket and also cause a lot of worry, and that is not to mention the trauma the dog will have to go through being treated at the vet.

For many people a dog is their family member, like a child to some people. It’s so spiteful to pretend they’ve been poisoned.

pizzaHeart · 20/05/2025 20:23

KarminaBurana · 17/05/2025 14:48

Perhaps if more dog owners were responsible, there would be no need.

This ^

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:32

@Hulabalu the amount I roll my eyes every time someone says a dog is a family member - it’s a dog, a pet 🙄🙄🙄

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:32

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:20

Yep, and it will hit the dog owner in the pocket and also cause a lot of worry, and that is not to mention the trauma the dog will have to go through being treated at the vet.

You clearly don't understand the legal system - if you got taken to Court for Vet fees, you would have to pay their legal costs as well as the original vet fees, plus your costs. Just what you've posted on here could prove your undoing in a Court - you've admitted that you've lied in order to cost them money out of sheer spite.

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:34

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:32

You clearly don't understand the legal system - if you got taken to Court for Vet fees, you would have to pay their legal costs as well as the original vet fees, plus your costs. Just what you've posted on here could prove your undoing in a Court - you've admitted that you've lied in order to cost them money out of sheer spite.

Have you quoted the wrong person?

rb124 · 20/05/2025 20:43

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:32

@Hulabalu the amount I roll my eyes every time someone says a dog is a family member - it’s a dog, a pet 🙄🙄🙄

Doesn't stop the owner thinking it's part of their family. I agree dogs have their place, and that they should be trained not to steal stuff or go running up to strangers and jumping up.

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:44

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:32

@Hulabalu the amount I roll my eyes every time someone says a dog is a family member - it’s a dog, a pet 🙄🙄🙄

My dog is my family. It is just me and her. You don't get to tell me otherwise. It has zero impact on you.

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:47

@YeOldeGreyhound it impacts me with unbelievable levels of cringe

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:49

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:47

@YeOldeGreyhound it impacts me with unbelievable levels of cringe

Cringe doesn't harm you. Telling people their canine family member is not family and "is just a dog" is harmful... especially for people who have no one else.
You don't need to accept it, but to me, my dog is family. Keep your eyerolling to yourself.

WellDoneThatSupremeCourt · 20/05/2025 21:11

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:32

@Hulabalu the amount I roll my eyes every time someone says a dog is a family member - it’s a dog, a pet 🙄🙄🙄

Well, quite. I always think that person's family life must be extremely bizarre. You can't have a family member that is of a completely different species! It's disordered thinking akin to the belief that human beings can change sex.

Redhotspicywine · 20/05/2025 21:13

FanofLeaves · 17/05/2025 14:34

There was a dog chasing a poor terrified duck through the park the other day. The owner caught my eye and smiled indulgently. ‘I don’t know why she bothers, she’d never catch one!’ she chucked. I said ‘that is really quite frightening for the duck, you shouldn’t let her do it’
’well its instinct isn’t it, what can you do!’
GRRR. Since lockdown there are so many more dogs about, and a lot of them are really poorly trained. I don’t know why we are expected to fawn over these dog’s poor behaviour, but it seems we are and it’s irritating.

Edited

I hope you’re vegan 🌱

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 21:17

WellDoneThatSupremeCourt · 20/05/2025 21:11

Well, quite. I always think that person's family life must be extremely bizarre. You can't have a family member that is of a completely different species! It's disordered thinking akin to the belief that human beings can change sex.

OK, so I have disordered thinking now?
Thanks for that.

Again, me seeing my dog as a family member has no impact on you. You saying I have disordered thinking does have an impact on me. There is no need to air such thoughts.
Maybe I should book a GP appointment, and say what to them?

rb124 · 20/05/2025 21:21

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 20:34

Have you quoted the wrong person?

Yes - sorry 😔

NamechangeJunebaby · 20/05/2025 23:08

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/05/2025 21:17

OK, so I have disordered thinking now?
Thanks for that.

Again, me seeing my dog as a family member has no impact on you. You saying I have disordered thinking does have an impact on me. There is no need to air such thoughts.
Maybe I should book a GP appointment, and say what to them?

@YeOldeGreyhound pay no heed to the ignorant comments. You seem a lovely warm person who loves her dog very much and yes, they are part of the family (the pps on this thread and other similar posts that think all dogs should be culled, they’re ‘just’ an animal, have not experienced the love and warmth from a pet that is so enjoyable).

And based on their attitudes, if they’re so antagonistic and sneery to their own family members, can you imagine what it would be like having them as family?

I understand not everyone likes dogs and some are scared of them. That’s okay - me and my pup will happily keep to ourselves.

YeOldeGreyhound · 21/05/2025 00:09

NamechangeJunebaby · 20/05/2025 23:08

@YeOldeGreyhound pay no heed to the ignorant comments. You seem a lovely warm person who loves her dog very much and yes, they are part of the family (the pps on this thread and other similar posts that think all dogs should be culled, they’re ‘just’ an animal, have not experienced the love and warmth from a pet that is so enjoyable).

And based on their attitudes, if they’re so antagonistic and sneery to their own family members, can you imagine what it would be like having them as family?

I understand not everyone likes dogs and some are scared of them. That’s okay - me and my pup will happily keep to ourselves.

Thank you. I do love my dog very much. I have had her since she was 4 months old. She is nearly 15. She has got me through breakdowns, ill health, and a very traumatic end of a relationship. She is my protective factor... the reason I am still here. She is more of a family member than some of my actual family will ever me (am in the process of going NC with one, which is painful as hell but very much needed).

I am not a knob and think everyone else should love her. I don't know any dog owner who thinks that way.

pestowithwalnuts · 21/05/2025 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What the fuck does that mean...? " Up yourself much "..?

Dancingintherainxxx · 21/05/2025 01:42

Mad over a dog licking a bottle. .. I've heard it all now lol

Hulabalu · 21/05/2025 04:01

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 20/05/2025 20:32

@Hulabalu the amount I roll my eyes every time someone says a dog is a family member - it’s a dog, a pet 🙄🙄🙄

But have you ever been a dog owner?

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 21/05/2025 06:48

Hulabalu · 21/05/2025 04:01

But have you ever been a dog owner?

Absolutely not - dogs are disgusting creatures

Hulabalu · 21/05/2025 06:56

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 21/05/2025 06:48

Absolutely not - dogs are disgusting creatures

How are they ?!