To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

In fairness, they are not just small people. Particularly when they are very small, you can't have an adult conversation with them and you engage with them quite differently than you would with an adult. I think people who say they don't like children mean they don't like standard childish engagement and prefer more adult interactions.

I have zero interest in babies, except mine who were obviously wonderful. I dislike some children, I really like other children. Basically, I treat them as individuals. I don't understand people who state they love children. They're treating them just as much as a homogeneous mass as those who say they don't like children.

This is a good point. As a woman in her late 30s, I’ve had to think quite deeply about how much I like being around children because producing some is an option. Therefore, I’ve formulated lots of thoughts and opinions on them.

I haven’t considered how I feel about any other groups of individuals because conceiving, birthing, and then raising an elderly woman isn’t on my list of possible future plans.

I understand not knowing what to do around children or finding very small children needy or exhausting, or not liking to be in spaces where children are being noisy, or finding talking about children boring - I don't find talking about my own child particularly interesting! But what I was commenting on is how it's seemingly acceptable to just say you don't like children wholesale. Look how many people on this thread have said it!

I don't say I like all children either, that would be silly. I treat children on a case-by-case basis, just as I do with other people. And if children are badly behaved, that's a reflection on the parents more often than not.

Interestingly, I find some other cultures much more accepting of children and their 'annoying' traits, so there's that too...

There have been answers already which should enlighten you.

@TheHappyBug as a child did you dislike other children or was this something which developed as you grew older? What were you like as a child? Messy, dirty, annoying & loud?

To be fair I've met a lot of adults who've displayed the characteristics you hate in kids described in your post. A lot of adults are rude, crass, smelly, obnoxious, unpredictable and noisy

🙄

It’s a chat forum, you don’t need kids to respond.

I have two children ,13,14. but don’t like other peoples children. I hate the high pitched screaming, loud annoying bossy kids. Which in the past 15 years have came across quite a few. Mind you I blame the parents for not teaching them properly.
Not including special needs.

The difference between saying "I don't like children" and "I don't like elderly people" is that we are meant to adore children, prioritise them, tolerate their behaviour even if it irritates. Our society worships youth and loathes old age. Children can run around public spaces screaming and it's "aww, it's just kids being kids". Elderly people are meant to hide away and hurry up and die quietly

There's even a whole forum for MNetters without children. Never mind the countless non parenting related threads.

I don't think people are very tolerant of children running around screaming. Judging by this thread, even the most well-behaved children are still disliked. And when our society worships youth, it's not a 5 year old, it's an attractive young woman or man. I agree that ageism is rife and I don't agree with that, but I don't think people are particularly kind or tolerant of children either.

I don't think I'd say I dislike kids but I don't have much interest in them and generally actively avoid spending time with them, at least not until they're 8 or 9 and can hold a conversation. This applies to my nieces and nephews too who of course I love but still wouldn't want to be around them for any amount of time when small

I agree 100%

Plus, you used to be a child!

By all means say “I don’t like looking after children”, but “I don’t like children” seems ridiculous to me.

Children are just humans!

eh, most people don't like certain groups of people.

I don't like children (I absoloutly love my own though, don't expect anyone else to be forced to though). I find newborn babies fucking adorable though even though older children annoy me to the point of breakdown sometimes.

I also don't greatly like the elderly (I have nothing in common with them, most are of outdated view points too), I don't like stuck up middle class people, fox hunters, Nigel Farage voters and 'horse' people either (all for the same reasons that we just are completely different in interest, attitudes and lifestyles).

Not liking them means I would no seek to hang out with these groups (which lets be honest talking of kids if a middle age person willfully hung around with little kids at the park that are not their own children etc... thats fucking creepy and they're likely a wrong one) but it doesn't mean I go around drop kicking them on sight.

You are allowed to 'not like' something that you have nothing in common with.

My eldest is a teen now, since becoming a mid-teen many adults we know have started to befriend him at social events. They had no real interest until he was around 15 and could hold articulate conversations expressing educated ideas on things. Now they invite him to join in because people want to 'hang out' not babysit and thats absolutely fine.

I had a very abusive childhood so can’t really answer what I was like as it was very much moulded by circumstances. I was very quiet and helpful but can’t say I would have been like that in other circumstances.

I didn’t say they were messy though I just said they are unpredictable and noisy. Maybe you are confusing me with someone else?

Ha, I'm very happily child free and don't enjoy spending time around small children. I can assure you there's no envy here. Plenty of people like me. Not everyone wants kids, shocking as that may be to you.

Thats because society doesnt enable us to be honest. Working with that demographic is extremely difficult and I cant manage it, its ok to say that. Im dreading if my OH or parents get dementia, Im not sure how I would manage it. Its ok to say that.

Conversations in other countries are a lot more honest about that sort of thing, including working with people with MH disorders, ND, LD etc etc.

I don’t like other people’s young children. They become more interesting as teenagers.

I don't like children in general but have 3 of my own (loving my own family and not wanting to be around groups of random kids, two wildly different things) so that argument holds no water.

I find it interesting that many of my parent friends aren't 'kid' people but many of my child free by choice friends actively choose childcentric life styles (like primary school teacher etc...). Although I suppose if I had to watch other peoples kids all day I probably wouldn't want to get off work and do it all again too.

I find it really strange when people say they don't like children. It's a weird generalisation, they're all so different. I think people either think they are cool and edgy making such a statement, they're sociopaths or deeply unhappy people who manage it with some hard faced defence mechanisms.

If it's beyond the realms of your imagination that many children have had interesting experiences and/or have interesting perspectives, then you must be quite a boring person.

It's interesting that some women think that if other women say they don't want children, it's because they're secretly so sad they don't have any. No. We don't want them, and luckily, in most countries in this part of the world, women have bodily autonomy.

I think sometimes people say this as a reaction to the assumption that all women should love babies and children just because they’re female.

I have never disliked children en masse but before I had DD I was quite uninterested and unmoved by them and found it irritating that I was expected to gush over them just because. I used to sometimes say I could take or leave them.

I think child free women get tired of being expected to find other people’s offspring enthralling so they possibly say this to head it off at the pass.

I will happily accept that description if it means people don’t bother me with their kids 😁

I don’t like most children. Sometimes not even my own. It doesn’t bother me when anyone says they don’t like children. What I find is if you say you don’t like dogs then you get an even more extreme reaction. Usually followed up with the dog owner insisting theirs is friendly and encouraging you to touch it or let it lick your clothes.