To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

But children are one of the most vulnerable groups of people in society. They are acknowledged as such.

What a strange thing for you to push back on.

Well if it's not children please explain who it is?

I'd personally think that elderly people with demential are or similar are far more vulnerable, and they're valued much less by society.

Ok but it's not considered acceptable to go around saying you don't like demented people is it?

How many people with advanced dementia or profound intellectual disability do you think exercise their right to vote or access their own money?

I mean this is getting boring now. You can have your opinion and I'll have mine. I standby the view that children are more vulnerable than adults, yes even those in the groups you've mentioned. And I explained why. But either way, if you dislike an entire group of humans (kids in this instance) then we'll clearly not be seeing eye to eye. But I can't be bothered to engage any further.

I never said whether or not I liked or disliked children as a group. I merely spoke about the oft-used ‘most vulnerable in society’ phrase.

But in my opinion, people who retort with “this is getting boring now” and “I can’t be bothered to engage any further” are actually saying they can’t defend their point against the rebuttals made. Just my opinion, of course.

I think its fine to not like children and to say so.
No different to not liking cats or religion.

No different to not liking cats or religion.

No - it is different, because children are not animals or ideologies.

It would be similar to saying that you don’t like women, elderly people or any other group of people you can think of.

Have they?

I have 3 and not something i have encountered

never encountered? It’s embedded in culture. Hence the subject/ argument on this thread. You are encountering it now by being here and reading this. (Nothing to do with having three children or not ).

Huh?

silly mumsnet thread dehumanising children because the odd person says they don’t like kids?

just a touch hyperbolic!

They are animals.

I equally have no issue with people not liking elderly people, boomers, gen z'ers etc.

Not hyperbolic at all. Just descriptive. The fact that so many people think it’s perfectly ordinary and socially acceptable to say they “don’t like children”, clearly failing to understand that the word “children” is just a collective name for a vast diversity of individual humans.

It would of course not be acceptable to say this about another group of humans, but to say it about “children” is just thought to be ordinary and understandable. someone even said it’s not the same as saying you dislike someone for being old or gay because people can’t help being those things, whereas children are a lifestyle choice 😆, clearly demonstrating a lack of understanding that children are actually individual human beings in their own right.

I mean every other thread on MN is essentially women saying how much they hate men 🤣. But hey, we are good with that, and accept that it’s simply a phrase people use to express (predominantly temporary) feelings, although some are more concrete in their feelings, and thats fine too.

This thread has been taken, chewed up, pathologised, analysed, thrown back up, and dissected a bit more…when really it doesn’t need be.

Putting it simply, there is jack shit wrong with saying ‘hey I don’t really like kids’. The world will keep turning. It doesn’t render children vulnerable victims. It doesn’t render the person that says it a sociopath either.

Life is full of sweeping phrases and assertions that sound dramatic, but really aren’t, it’s no wonder so many philosophers have gone loopy loo in the past, too much trying to understand and collate thoughts and feelings that don’t warrant the energy. It’s cool, all is good.

I am 17 years in to parenting

I honestly have never encountered anyone say “I don’t like children”

ever

Neither have I, in real life. Only ever on Mumsnet. Maybe on Instagram, but I don’t go on there.

I don't like children but it is something I keep in my head when in company.
I don't understand them and find them noisy and chaotic. I dont even want polite kids approaching me (or anyone for that matter).

I think it’s generally considered pretty socially unacceptable to say “I don’t like men” , although people might criticise patriarchy or male entitlement. in the same way, it’s not very acceptable to say “I don’t like white people” , although it is of course fine to criticise racism and white entitlement .

Regardless, Either of these things would of course be much less bad/ unacceptable compared to saying “I don’t like old people”, or “gay people”, or “brown people”. Saying you don’t like children is comparable to this group (rather than men or white people) since children are not part of a powerful, oppressive class of people.

Does it make someone a sociopath if they say they don’t like children? Of course not. it’s the ordinary, unremarkable product of a culture that others and dehumanises children as a social group .

Does it make children vulnerable? Well Children are already vulnerable. But A culture which dehumanises children certainly increases that vulnerability- it’s part of what creates the conditions for and silence around child abuse.

Does the world keep turning ?
Yes,

Really? As you see from this thread it’s a pretty common, unremarkable sentiment.

Exactly
I don’t regard mumsnet as RL
and aside from mumsnet… nope never heard anyone say they hate kids
i feel sorry for @Blessthismess2 that she seems to be surrounded by people voicing this to her?

a) I take Mumsnet threads either a pinch of salt
b) I’ve seen a few posters say they don’t like kids on this thread, sure. I have also seen other demographic groups mentioned as not being liked.

no biggie

I think it's perfectly acceptable to not like children, just as valid a preference as yours or any other. How people articulate their view is more important though - it's probably inappropriate to say you don't like children when you're stood in front of your class of darling little pupils.

Since when is making a sweeping and negative generalisation about an entire category of people a “valid” “preference”.

@Blessthismess2
Many people in real life seem to have voiced their dislike for children to you. Who are these people? And maybe… distance yourself from them?

you are being repeatedly told by posters that in RL we do not experience people saying they “hate children”

and it is clearly so commonplace to you, that you literally can’t seem to grasp that we are telling you the truth!

OP is not wrong, although I have mostly seen it on FB or TikTok comments. Some of these are really disgusting too like if a kid is filmed accidentally hurting themselves they’ll laugh and say ‘do it again’. It’s become totally acceptable on these platforms to admit to hating children. IMO I think it’s quite an odd and somewhat worrying thing to admit. You’d never say it about another group of people.