To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

I don't really want to spend a lot of time with either young children or the elderly. My kids are young adults now. Does that mean i don't like either? I'm not sure, but they're certainly not my preferred age groups to spend time with.

People can think and say whatever they want. They don't have to be tolerant of anything or anyone either.

As long as they don't start going on a murderous rampage or even just threatening or abusive, it's not unacceptable to have any opinion they like. It's only becoming unacceptable to act on it.

YANBU OP, it’s horrible.

A lot of people have forgotten they were once children themselves.

Also, many children put the behaviour of adults to shame. They see the best in others, are kind and generous. I always feel humbled watching local children, some very young, picking up the rubbish strewn around our parks- they know it’s wrong.

Interestingly in a world where the modern narrative is that people are encouraged to be 'their true self', there is more and more policing of people's thoughts and language.

I'm none of those things. I've just chosen not to have children and actively choose not to spend time with them. Very happy with my lot and not a sociopath. Bit of a stretch.

Children aren't fully evolved though so could generally be grouped as more demanding to be around? For me, as with all ages I like a few children, don't like others.

This is becoming an view held by too many people.

It is unacceptable to say something that might upset people??

dear god - we have entered a Bonilla era we’re no one is allowed to have any opinions, were we can’t debate, can’t respect differences of opinion. Everyone has to tiptoe around each other. There can be no intelligent discussions, because we all lower ourselves to the lowest common denominator because we are terrified of upsetting people.

what’s wrong with people being upset? Why is it so confronting to hear an opinion that doesn’t match yours?

There are plenty of non-parents here. The Talk board is actually primarily a women's forum.

That’s lovely. Perhaps they could teach the local high school students here how to dispose of litter because every school day they leave a long trail of litter from the local supermarkets back to the local school, including in people’s gardens, in spite of passing multiple bins.

Lol. No raw nerves here thank you. I find it quite sad that some women think all women must want children and can't understand that no not all women do.

You could do with getting out more.

Not wanting to have a child is very different to saying you don't like children. I don't want a dog but I don't dislike all dogs. The not spending time with any is a bit odd though, would you avoid a family member if they had a child? What are the reasons for not wanting to be around them?

Absolutely this. “Authenticity” is reserved for the people who don’t depend on other people’s goodwill to survive.

You're really determined to push this aren't you? How are you qualified to know what other people think and feel? It's arrogant and presumptuous.

Absolutely agree OP. So typical that the vote is YABU. Just says it all. Children are humans, it’s unacceptable and nonsense to say “I don’t like this group of humans” as a generalisation, regardless of the group.

Because I don't like them. I don't enjoy the company of children, I didn't even when I was a child. I can't stand the noise, the mess, the smells, the relentlessness of it all. I go to adult only resorts, pubs that don't allow children and will see friends and family without their children. I've been this way my entire adult life and nobody holds it against me.

Does that clear it up?

That is a shame, our local teenagers here are very considerate towards younger children, I see 16-18 year olds on my school run 3x a day and we have no issues like that. I also speak to many lovely teenagers at my gym.

Often when you spend time speaking 1:1 with any child or teenager you realise how much potential they have. Children certainly ask me far more interesting questions than many adults I know. Sadly some don’t give them the time of day though, as with the elderly.

I don’t like most children, though I sometimes do meet ones that are delightful. But on the whole I don’t really like them much. However, experience has taught me that they will eventually grow into adults, so being irritating, loud annoying children is a temporary condition which most will pass through and become rational and useful human beings.

Some of course will remain irritating, loud and annoying even as adults, so I will continue to avoid them.

I like them but I have less energy for them as I get older.

I agree, OP. It automatically makes me think badly of someone. Not liking any particular group of people due to age, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation makes you a bigot.

I both agree and disagree here.

It really grinds my gears when you see parenting advice on here which almost treats little kids as inhuman.

But on a good day my toddler is like a rowdy drunk. On a bad day he's like an aggressive drunk wanting to start a fight or crying in the toilets (because his sweetcorn isn't cooking fast enough or I wouldn't let him eat a brick). Older children are like chatty drunks. Many children, like drunks, can't keep their food down in the car.

It's a natural stage, and hey, I love my little drunkard. But it's fine not to like tiny drunks.

I agree. A friend I work with is childless by choice. She’s had two terminations so no issue getting pregnant, though people assume she must be barren, and secretly must have wanted them. She didn’t.

I have primary aged children and I do find they tend to ask more questions that would have been considered rude when I was little.

It’s been discussed a lot on Mn and I’m aware it’s contentious but I also find it grating when a young child addresses me by my first name without being invited to.

It might be culturally unacceptable to say, because as a society we dictate according to fashion and whim what is or isnt acceptable to say.

However it isnt nonsense. Its how humans throughout hundreds of thousands of years have operated. You have your tribe, your group of people in your community, you welcome those in you want and shun those you dont want. Modern humanity finds this shocking and frightening, so we dont encourage that.
But thats how any social pack animal works, its how many societies and countries across the world still work.

Thats not necessarily applicable to children, but Im making the point that its very common and not at all 'nonsense' to say I dont like this group of people and I dont want anything to do with them.

You can’t possibly make this statement because you don’t know all children. Children is the collective name for a huge variety of vastly different individual humans, and you may very well find you ended up really liking a child you actually got to know. Fine to have no interest / desire to do this. Fine to say you don’t want to have children of your own , and to organise your life in a way that suits you to spend time with the people and in the places you enjoy. However, Saying “I don’t like children” is no more acceptable than saying “I don’t like old people”, or “I don’t like xxxxx group of people” (insert x for all kinds of things you well know is completely unacceptable to say).

Sadly no, but I do know that lots of people use this joke!