To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

Its most children's specialist skill set on their CVs, its virtually in the job description for them to be entitled and rude, then parenting helps them out of it.

Then as you get older you quite enjoy regressing again to be childlike and entitled and rude, and no one can tell you off becuase you're a grown up

Its great!

good point. I was trying to formulate something like this but you said it better

I’m a primary teacher and I love my job. I like children Mon-Fri 9-4. But I actually don’t like being around children when I’m not working. it’s not the same as being around a group, such as elderly people, because when with children you need to watch what you say and do. Conversations with adults within earshot of children must be edited. If I want to go swimming (for example), a friend the same age can join and it’s companionable, we can focus on our own exercise needs and then have a chat in the jacuzzi after. Elderly relative can be left in the cafe with a book until I return, or they can meet me later. If a small child is involved, they will likely want to come, they need help getting ready and will need watching like a hawk to make sure they don’t drown, cry, get lonely, etc. I wouldn’t be able to focus on my enjoyment of the activity. This pretty much goes for all activities involving children.

Children are a unique group of individuals that differ because they need to be looked after, nurtured, etc. Even people who say they don’t like them, accept the need to behave appropriately around them, and that requires a level of energy. It’s also very much frowned upon to correct the behaviour of someone else’s child, so if they’re misbehaving in your presence, you often have to bite your tongue.

I’m going to an adult only hotel tomorrow, no kids disco, no kids crying, running about and screaming. No frazzled parents trying to stop little Johnny dive bombing and splashing others at the pool.

The majority of topics on MN have absolutely nothing to do with parenting. Plus just because you’ve had kids doesn’t make you qualified to give advice, I’ve got kids but advice on different things such as weaning has changed so much over the years what I did is well out of date.

Yes there’s always a little Johnny unfortunately 🤣

I didn't like children even when i was one.

Part of my frustration with this thread is that all the things which potentially frustrate me or make me nervous about interacting with younger children (including my own at that age) also frustrate me or make me nervous regarding adults with intellectual disabilities or suffering from dementia. But it wouldn't even enter my head to say I "don't like" them. In fact I've always regretted that I'm not naturally more patient and sensitive with adults in those situations and have worked on that as best I can.

The only thing I find disturbing is if people say they hate kids.
Fair enough if people don't like being around them.

There was a grumpy old git who lived in my village when i was growing up who said he hated children. Ever since i have associated child haters with curmudgeonly old fuckers

except that not all old people are deaf or slow but by definition no small child is fully socialised

this.

But you can’t have elderly women, like you can have children.

So it’s not the same.

I think it's fine to say you don't like children if you don't. I love my own children but I wouldn't say I like all children. I don't particularly like dogs and some dog owners seem to get quite offended if you don't lavish attention on their dog. I guess some people with children feel the same.

I've had people say to me that they don't like children and I honestly don't care, why would their preference bother me?

This definitely!

Yes but little Johnny grows up to be big Johnny who stays at adult only hotels & thinks it's funny to get his dick out and moon other guests!

Well I absolutely adore my adult children but when they were teenagers it was sometimes hard to like them because of teenage behavior. I think as a parent it's OK to say love them always but like them someday jings it was hard .small children ie my grandaughters well that's a different story I love everything they do but I don't have the daily grind of there worry I just get the best parts .and thankfully I am involved in there lives with childcare .a bit of piste sorry but I think it's OK .

People regularly state they don’t like cyclists or they hate cyclists etc

tbh I just switch off to the person talking as it’s a bizarre thing to not like childre or cyclists or any other group of people

I dont like anyone.

Kids no thank you 9 out of 10 parents pull the they cant help it they have sen fuck off.
Sen is not a green card for you or your kid to act like a twat.
Screens are the new parents now.
Most kids dont hear a raised voice or the word no till they go to school then the teacher is blamed for abuse.
I dont hate kids i just dont like them sometimes i dont like the parents either.
Old people i get on with most but not all of them some are lovely and some think they can do what they want because they are old.
Now we cant say old anymore so when is old allowed to be used when were dead.
Older mums that think they can do better than a mum in her 20s or 30s mums are mums end of rather have a baby in my 20s or 30s than in my 40s and 50 id want some life back.

Some people cant tolerate kids of any age. Even the most well behaved kids can annoy them. I have a distant relative like this and you had to seen and not heard in a room with them. I would say it’s okay to dislike being around kids if that is your preference. To dislike kids is a little extreme. If you go somewhere and kids are wellcome and entitled to be there you have to suck it up though. I don’t like being around drunk people or alcohol. I use common sense and stay away from places that would make me uncomfortable. That doesn’t make me a bad person though. Some people generally don’t like kids/being around them.

The fact that there is huge demand for adult only anything - cruises, holidays, hotels, restaurants, pubs, gym classes etc- shows that even if no one was ‘allowed’ to say it, there are many (most?) adults who would actively seek out places where there aren’t children to enjoy their leisure time.

and so a follow on from the original question might be to say that if you’re not allowed to stereotype children as behaving a certain way (which would be nonsense as they do by nature of their little time on the planet) - is it then discriminatory to put on adult only events?

My teenage son doesn't like being around young children because he has severe sensory difficulties and struggles with typical young children behaviour and sounds

Quite, such sweeping generlisations are lazy and for the hard of thinking

Hahahahaha ! You can't understand why anyone would think differently to you and you think the reason is always that they actually secretly wanted kids?

What a blinkered view.