To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

Thinking about it, it's bad behaviour I don't like. So it doesn't really matter whether it's obnoxious men, women, children, dogs, etc, it's just the way they behave that irks me. I suppose children who are still young and still learning about how to fit into society are more likely to fall into that category, but like badly behaved dogs, my resentment is reserved for the adults that are supposed to be parenting/training them into good behaviour.

Really, it's just people who are rude or nasty, inconsiderate to others, thieves, hooligans and vandals. People like that. I despise them because they don't give a monkeys about others. Kids are okay though, they might be blunter than necessary or prone to being noisy or thoughtless, but they're kids and still have time to learn social skills.

I don’t really like being in the company of children for several reasons, but I don’t dislike/hate all children. Children seem to like me though so I generally make the effort to interact where I can, though I am always relieved to give them back to the parents 😂. I would also never let a child suffer in any way if there was something I could do to help. I’d pretty much do anything to help any child in need, stranger or not.

I say that to my own children 😂

I don't get this either, I must admit

It’s definitely a weird form of bigotry.

However I think it’s seen as more acceptable because being a child does affect behaviour. Being elderly or middle aged doesn’t. I think the people saying that more mean they don’t like small children when they are acting like small children.

I am wary of people who say that though - how can you dislike ALL children?!

I do think it’s fine to say you prefer to be in adult only spaces though. In my gym there is a small section of the changing room that is adults only and it’s the only section I use.

I'm sorry, but are we going to pretend there aren't Andrew Tate types all over the internet proudly stating how much they hate women? And that's acceptable it seems, even celebrated by some.

It’s fine if you don’t want to be having interactions with children. Not everybody enjoys it but we were all children once and need to remember how important some interactions were. Some interactions people carry with them through their lifetime. Both good and bad.
Hopefully those who don’t like children would still help a child who needed help and would still refrain from negative and hurtful interactions.

I dont hate kids their just not important to me.
Most adults annoy me when they bang on about their kids.

Yes and I was annoying as a child. I will be a corpse one day too, that doesn’t mean I want to hang out with them!

What's wrong with not liking old people?

Or not liking children?

I'm not offended. I just think its odd and unlikeable. Same with "I like dogs / cats better than people" types. I'm sure I'd feel different if I was a dog / cat, but I'm not 😂

Am I allowed to say "I quite like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one"? 😉

Humans talk and converse though, only in the UK are we so frightened of upsetting someone that we basically say nothing. Its not my responsibility to 'not upset someone'.

If you are upset, you are upset.

Really? How much time have you spent on mumsnet? It can’t be much if you aren’t aware of the plethora of boards here that discuss a wide and varied range of topics that have fuck all to do with being a mum. This very board we’re on right now, AIBU, as an example. Style & beauty, health, gardening, litter tray, chat, relationships, legal, work & jobs, AMA etc etc etc. the majority of mumsnet discussions have no specific parenting-related issues. It’s one of the biggest female-dominated spaces on the internet and that’s what attracts posters, irrespective of whether they are mothers. And, it may shock you to learn, there’s even a childfree board here. Mnhq have made it clear multiple times that childfree/childless posters are welcome here.

personally I think you are wrong

I find it's all people but surprisingly not little children.

Depends what context it’s said in. We’ve just booked an adult only hotel abroad because our kids are now adults themselves and I don’t want to be around other peoples children, can’t stand them touching food then putting it back etc. When I was talking about it with colleagues I did say we purposely booked adult only as we don’t like kids but that doesn’t mean I’d actively ignore children or wish them harm I just avoid being around them if it’s possible.

I thought the compromise was that it was OK not to like other peoples children ?

Also, I'd rather judge on actions not words. A couple of childless friends were quite of the "we don't like children" ilk. Yet were fantastic with ours at social events. Meanwhile fellow parents .... well you'd think they'd cope as they have kids of their own 😁

Um, nooooo they don't. Go around cheerfully announcing that you just don't like black people / Muslims / Jews / old people / people with learning disabilities etc and see how long you stay employed or keep your friends. Announce it online too much and without anonymity and the police may turn up.

Errm have you seen the boomer hate on here?

You can have rational reasons for disliking something- I might dislike hitting because I think violence is bad. But does that mean all hitting is wrong? Hitting a ball? No.

Is that you Sharon who I used to work with? 😂😂

I wouldn’t say I don’t like children, but I find anything childish or child related really really dull and children’s conversation very dull too. I actually felt the same way when I was a child. So 🤷‍♀️

Yes. It's called freedom of thought and expression. You might not like hearing someone else's opinion, but if they aren't free to express it, then how can you also be free to express yours.

Who gets to decide what people are allowed to say?

What makes that person "right"?

But then threads that actually are all children & parenting get input from people with zero experience of either, which can get tiring.