To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

I can’t say it bothers me tbh. I have a child and love children but can understand that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather people who don’t like children are honest about it and don’t have children they will regret.

I work in retail and you regularly get toddler/children throwing tantrums in the store (big toy department) and it always makes me roll my eyes when I hear childless colleagues say - I would never let a child act like this, and general other judgments on three year olds, It’s ridiculous.

Depends on context, saying you don’t like kids to friends in the pub when there’s annoying kids tripping up staff is just fine, as in moaning about elderly people who are getting on your nerves but be careful in what company you say it in!!!

That's fair

I'm not a 'don't like kids' person but I have a couple of friends who are. What is underlying is 'I don't know how to interact with children' and 'I don't want to be responsible for children.' As someone who has been working with kids in various capacities since i was a young teen I'm fine if I'm with a group of kids to look ahead to something going wrong and take steps to prevent that. If I was the only younger person in a group of pensioners I wouldn't feel the same level of responsibility.
One of my non kid friends does a job that can be done with kids or adults and all the opportunities coming up are with kids, she doesn't really have the experience to know what to expect from a 3 year old or an 8 year in terms of development. 'Don't like kids' is a shorthand. She thinks mine are OK because I wouldn't dream of asking her to look after them!

I had an obnoxious colleague who always exclaimed loudly how she hated children including her own family members. Her behaviour became really bad when new parents brought their babies in, so people stopped it or waited until she was out of the office.

It was pointed out to her that she was a child once but the point didn't sink in. She then got pregnant and couldn't understand why people weren't so enthusiastic about her own pregnancy! A very honest colleague explained that because she was a dick towards everyone, people couldn't forget her nasty behaviour towards them regardless of her being a new mum. She wasn't happy or understanding, she was expecting the red carpet to be rolled.

Some people are such unaware dickheads, that there isn't any hope for them.

Are we allowed to say we prefer dogs to humans (children)?

Yes this annoys me too. A lot of my friends always said this, and now I feel awkward having my kid around them. I think it's mainly an immaturity thing, and that they have never really got to know any children. I think a lot of women say this as a backlash against society assuming they exist to procreate, and to get people to stop asking when they will have kids etc. Some young women do it to seem appealing to men as well. That happened a fair bit in my circle 20 years ago.

Quite.

I didn’t like children until I had my own. I enjoy the company of babies and children now, but that wasn’t always the case.

I like (and indeed love) individual men but as a cohort I don’t like them. So I spend my free time in women only spaces most of the time.

It’s ok to have preferences. You don’t have to be an arse about it. Just stick to the kind of people you like.

Are we allowed to say we prefer chickens and ducks to dogs?

I'm not keen although I'd never say it. I loved my own children, now adults, and love grandson but wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with children and generally avoid where they gather.

Don’t be silly OP.

we police people’s words far too much.

It has been accepted for men to say they don’t like children for hundreds of years. What the issue is now some women are saying it:

They really mean, in the majority of cases, they have no interest in spending time with children. And that, of course, is absolutely fine.

as long as they aren’t harming children what is there to get so worked up about?

I always think along similar lines when I see signs on shop doors saying things like only 2 schoolchildren at a time. (And our local Lidl has security on the door before/after school, and a one out/one in policy for unaccompanied schoolchildren, so there’s always a long queue of kids either side of the school day.) I absolutely get why, but can’t help feeling it’s also strange that it’s acceptable to single children out in this way, when it wouldn’t be considered okay for any other group.
Having said that, my DH always says doesn’t like babies; once they begin talking, he thinks they’re much more interesting. I can understand that. And I also understand that young children in particular can be less socially aware — and their behaviour/noise as a result may not be everyone’s cup of tea…

Who exactly is anyone offending by saying they don't like children?

At my leaving do (to have a baby) my boss told me that she hated babies and that "king Herod had the right idea".

Meh, how’s it any different to saying you like children?

Maybe it's to a large degree also how irritating some parents about their perfect children who are the most special people ever born a d to whom everyone else must pander saying you don't .like children ends the endless talk about these special ones.

I wouldn’t say that I like or dislike children. I do find there is more effort involved in spending time with children than with adults, and I’m a lazy low effort kind of person, so generally don’t have the inclination to spend time with kids. When you’re spending time with children, you have to adapt how you communicate, and children also often expect to be entertained- this is not the case with other groups. I prefer adult-only hotels these days because children are more prone to sudden loud noises than adults are and I don’t like sudden loud noises.

I do have children who are almost adults now and although I coped fine when they were little, I don’t really miss the noise and chaos.

I've got two children but can't deny that overall children are annoying! Some people prefer adult company, I'm not sure what's so controversial about that?

Yeah this. ^ I doubt anyone actually hates all children. Saying 'I don't like children' is a way for childfree people to shut people down who keep blathering on about them, like they're the bees bollocks. When you're childfree, some people with children think if they parp on about their wonderful offspring, that the childfree person in question will magically want a child! 😆

It's just a generalisation. Honestly there are bigger things to worry about. I often say i don't like people. And in truth i am very particular with who I like and don't. Not liking people isn't the same as actively disliking them by the way. I am neutral with the very vast majority of people, they do not interest me. But when I care I really do. I understand some people not having positive feelings towards children as a generalisation. It doesn't mean they hate all children. And as long as they still behave respectfully (as I do with people in general) who cares.

Those ginger kids are the ones you have to look out for

I don’t like children, I find them unpredictable and noisy. They make me feel on edge generally.

I would say this but only in a context where it was relevant. So if someone asked if I wanted to something where lots of children would be present, ie go to the zoo, I like animals, I would like to go to the zoo but I would choose a time there is likely to be less children present as I don’t like children.

If DH asks me to help out at his nephews birthday party he would know it’s a big deal for me as I don’t like children.

It is unacceptable to say anything that might upset anyone. If in real life people would say more often to themselves 'Who gives a shit about my opinion', and keep their gobs shut about everything apart from the weather and similar, the world would be a much nicer place. To express opinions without upsetting people in real life there is MN and other forums, where you can venture an opinion because everyone is anonymised.

Basically, in real life there is no need at all to say 'I don't like children' because you should realise your opinion is of no interest to anyone.

just to add thoygh: for some reason children seem to really like me and flock to me!