To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

Some do go around telling others, including parents, that they don’t like children though. Those are the ones that are a problem and the ones OP is talking about, hence the title of her OP…. ‘To think it’s unacceptable to SAY you don’t like children?

It’s about it being inappropriate to SAY, especially in certain situation or to certain people. Not liking kids and not saying it obviously isn’t an issue. Anyone saying it aloud, in a lot of situations, has some issues and lacks tact at best.

I’m not commenting on the opinion itself here. Only on the comment that parents choose to have their children, and that therefore children can’t be compared to elderly people, who don’t choose their age. Children themselves didn’t choose to be born or to be children. So the comparison is valid.

Trying to compare disliking children to being homophobic or discrimination is actually ridiclious. Get a grip.

I’m not comparing it to homophobia or racism, no. I’m saying that it’s valid to say that disliking children because of their age is like disliking elderly people because of their age. Because it is purely on age, not skin colour or sexuality. (That would obviously be offensive.)

But if you keep your dislike to yourself and don’t make derogatory comments, then no harm done. In real life, that is to say.

Ok this is the weirdest comment yet. You do realise children are people right? not just objects created by parents? And children don’t have any choice about being children 😂

I agree. But it's also in the same vein as those people that say they love kids. What, all of them?! Again, like they're all the same! Like adults, you get ones you can get along with but some... not so much.

Its not the same as saying you don't like middle aged or older people, as those are just sub sets of adult, and don't necessarily have anything in common with each other to render them a group. Children are not a sub set of adult, they are not yet adults, and as such do have certain characteristics in common. Typically these will include a different type and level of communication that people may find uninteresting. Different behavioural norms and expectations that people may find annoying. Varying levels of dependence, and so on. The adult child interaction is always going to be different from an adult to adult one, and some adults simply don't enjoy it. I actually do like children, but I understand why others may not.

It’s not weird to not be keen on children - in general they are loud, annoying, uninteresting and completely change the dynamic of social settings.

This is why many people opt for child free weddings/holidays. Plenty of parents even admit to not liking other people’s children.

It doesn’t mean people are treating children badly, it’s just an opinion that everyone is entitled to.

Thank you! I’m glad I’m not alone in noticing this trend lately of dehumanising children. If we said we didn’t like any other group of people we’d be cast out but it’s become acceptable to hate the most innocent and vulnerable in society.

I have children

Can’t say I’ve noticed this “trend” you see or even anything remotely akin to it

The phrase ‘the most vulnerable in society’ has been used to describe so many groups of people at this stage that it’s become almost meaningless, IMO.

Well if it's not children please explain who it is? They don't have access to their own money, are not able to vote, cannot even take care of their own needs. They are smaller and weaker than the rest of the population. Id say you'd be hard pressed to find another group more vulnerable than children.

Also they're apparently the only group its ok to openly admit you don't like. Try putting a sign in a shop window saying "only 1 disabled / gay / Indian person at a time" and see where that gets you.

Disabled and Indian people don’t besiege the local shop before and after school, nicking sweets and fizzy pop en masse. 🤣

do you realise how ridiculous you sound?

Nicking sweets and fizzy drinks from the local shop is just kids being kids and shopkeepers should just put up with it apparently.

The ppl here fighting boldly for the right to dislike children are incredibly defensive. It's quite funny actually.

No of course they shouldn't put up with it. But groups of travellers have been known to use the same tactics round my way. Can you imagine a sign saying only to travellers allowed? No, because that would (rightly) be discrimination.

But many many adults are as dull as ditchwater though, whereas children can be really good company - joyful, chatty, funny, entertaining. Older children / teens can be much more interesting to talk to than the average adult. Give me a few bright chatty teens over a group of adults droning on about kitchen remodelling / bin collections / who said what to who at work any day. I have a teen & a preteen and genuinely enjoy their company, and actually the company of a lot of their friends (especially the teen's).

Elderly, demented people?
People with severe and enduring mental illness whose needs are being ignored in the rush to pathologise every emotion?
Intellectually disabled people?
Those who grow up in the care system and are left to their own devices once they turn a certain age?
(not an exhaustive list)

Most children have at least one parent strongly advocating for them, pushing to endure their every need (and often want) is met. Lots of the above people have no such advocate.

Not true, actually. The amount of slagging off menopausal women get is unreal.

I mean this is obvious absolute bollocks. Every single one of those groups of adults you mentioned (although undoubtedly vulnerable) have more rights than kids. They can vote, they have access to money, if they can't work then benefits.
And the comment about kids having at least one parent strongly advocating for them is the most ridiculous of all. Of course most kids do. But what about the ones who don't?

I agree with you about kids without parents to advocate for them. There are kids with parents who love them but have no idea how to be a parent. Sadly, there are also those who have parents who actively harm them (like I did).

However, the PP was right in saying that there are also very vulnerable adults who are at serious risk of harm.

It isn’t a competition.

Really? children have always been othered and dehumanised in one way or another.

Nobody approves of this behaviour. it is wrong and must be sorted involving police, school and parents.

But.. this is disapproving of a behaviour/ crime.
Rather different of disliking children!
Most children do not do this.
Or am I ok to say I do not like grown ups because some do steal?
Well... NO
It is flipping ridiculous. That is what it is.
There is a huge difference between not wanting to have children and not liking children.
A huge difference between finding noisy play areas hard to cope with and not liking children.
And so on and on....
You either see it, or not.
Two kind of very different people. With very little in common.