To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

[BirdPlanet]

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

I see what you did there! 😎

Why? Somepeople dont like dogs, cats, horses why is it wring to say they don't like children.

Of course it’s nonsense because it’s not actually true. It’s an abstract statement based on logics of pure prejudice and tribalism - a generalisation / assumption you are applying to a group of people based on stereotype and small mindedness- you know the things we recognise in advanced societies as being harmful and false.

You don’t actually know if you like someone or not until you know them, and belonging to any given social group is not an accurate predictor of what someone is actually like as an individual person.

I was talking to my mum about this the other day, and she was saying how she finds other people's children absolutely fascinating.

I argued that she was perhaps in the minority, unless someone was choosing to work in childcare/early years ed. She questioned why I don't really talk to my best mate about her kids.

I don't hate children at all but I don't talk about my mates kids with them much. We talk about adult stuff.
Loud or unruly kids in public are a bit annoying but I don't really go places where there are lots of them around.

They can be cute in small doses though so saying you hate them is a bit extreme.

If i’m honest I prefer the honesty and inclusivity of it.

Rather than the “ohhh I love children!” people who actually only like quiet, impeccably behaved, neurotypical(often also nondisabled) , “beautiful” children.

lol. Well whether it’s ok to say this about a group of animals is a whole other debate:

But you can’t seriously be suggesting that children are not a group of humans, comparable to other groups of humans (the elderly, the disabled, different cultural and ethnic groups, etc) but are actually more comparable to a group of animals (dogs, horses…) 😂

i don’t like children. i really don’t. They annoy me and i prefer teenagers. I hate the constant questions and stupid bickering and tale telling.
thats said i have 3 of my own and work in a school (with teenagers thanks god)

It's not. I presume it was when it started but there are loads of posters who are childfree or with adult kids and sometimes men. The topics covered are vast - from politics to horses and most of them have no relevance to mothers or children at all. Frankly I wish they'd change the name to "Woman's Net" or something more appropriate.

They should do. I'm sure there are more childless women here than fathers.

I think as a species no one gets to not like kids, we'd go extinct without them.
Dislike unruly, bratish kids by all means, but that's a parent problem as opposed to a kid problem.

Cool? Edgy? Sociopaths?

Ffs.

This.

Also sometimes you just have to kind of say it, politely or subtly. I'm sorry but I don't want to see dozens of baby photos, they're not pretty and they're boring. Some people don't read the room and continue to show you dozens of baby pics at every opportunity, despite you not responding enthusiastically or not asking to see more etc. Sometimes you just have to mumble "oh nice, yeah, dunno I'm not really a big fan of kids or babies I guess?" and hope they finally get it.

Absolutely personal experience 🤣😭

I don’t really like children apart from my own. Generally they are noisy and annoying and I really don’t want to hear little Johnnies opinion on anything :-)

My comment got deleted when I asked if I hit a raw nerve with a poster for coming up with a very uppity response to me wondering whether with some people it is a defence mechanism because they didn't have children, but it was a genuine point.

It's like women that have only sons (looking at you MIL) who profess really strongly how they never wanted daughters, never wanted girls, girls are hard work etc etc when it's quite clear it's a defense (certainly seen this evidence with my MIL who then comes out with "they're lucky in their old age that they've got a daughter ") or women that come out with "oh yuck boys, I hate boys, boys are so loud and messy. I'm so glad I've got 3 girls. I only wanted girls ". I think it's a case of protesting too much. It's not such a reach that it could be the case for some people without children saying they can't abide kids.

I do think less of people that dislike children. Children are fabulous 😍

You're totally unreasonable.

Not all children are likeable.

And really, no-one has to like anyone.

I'm not a Mum. I came 20 years ago, had a look around, didn't relate and promptly left for that reason. I wouldn't say I dislike children any more than adults. I prefer to be in calm, quiet-ish surroundings and most children aren't exactly calm or quiet ime.

I'm now on Mumsnet for the feminist board. And I've since discovered that you don't have to be a mum to be here.

As others have said, I personally think it’s weird to say you love or dislike ANY group of people. Those who compare “i don’t like children” with “i don’t like old people” or “i don’t like white people” and say well why is it ok to say one and not the other I do kind of agree with. But equally, it would be a bit weird to say “I love white people!” or “I love Jewish people!” But no one bats an eyelid if someone says “I love children”.

So even though I agree it’s wrong to kind of put a blanket dislike statement of any one group of people, the fact that a blanket “love” statement is apparently fine for children does kind of mean the same for dislike should be allowed as well.

My BIL and SIL used to come out with the "don't like children" crap. They moved to Portugal and bought a very rural house. Their nearest neighbours were a family with (and I quote) "screaming brats".

Worth noting that BIL enjoys noisy DIY, taking apart engines and driving noisy motorbikes around the Portuguese countryside and SIL has several horses and runs a riding school teaching children how to ride.

But the icing on the cake is that SIL used to be a teacher. Go figure

I think it’s unacceptable to tell people what they can and can’t say. You mightn’t like it. You might find it offensive, but so what?

Mine too. See also scan photos..seen 1, seen them all.

I do think less of people that dislike children. Children are fabulous 😍

But that’s as much of a generalisation as “children are horrible”.

Either it’s fine to generalise both positively and negatively or it’s not fine to generalise at all.

(I have known both fabulous and horrible children, so no axe to grind either way here!)

Most people don't really want to be around other people's children. I like mine, but if I have a choice of sitting by the pool near other adults or other people's children, I'd obviously choose just adults.

I've heard people (including youth sports coaches!) without children go so far as to say, "I really hate kids." I do find that unnecessary.

I also think that if these people have children of their own they would love them, but I do understand that most people definitely do not love other people's children in general or prefer to be around them.

The fact she was a teacher probably explains why she doesn't like children !)

The irony is the “I don’t like children” statement sounds like just the sort of silly, narrow-minded viewpoint you might expect sone children to make.

Go on I've bet you've said you don't like the french before now ;)