Can’t stop!

[Littlemissbubbles]

Ok, so I’ve name changed for this.
im already slightly drunk. If anything happens with the kids, I’ll make an excuse and DH can go.
I’ve been like this for four years!
I hold down a professional job, got a big house etc…. But it’s all crap, I can’t stop
As soon as I know I’m not ‘needed’ to drive, I’m sneaking booze. I know it’s ridiculous, I’ve tried to stop, but a can’t!! Actually I like/hate feeling like this.
But I know I need to stop.

AIBU you’re fine, it’s only 2-3 a night!
URNBU, you know you need help( but that involves telling people, and I can’t!)

Does your husband know how much you are drinking?

No

I’m good at pretending

Do you drink every single night of the week? Also how much a day or week do you drink?

How much do you drink in a day/is it every day?

You should tell him.
Then seek professional help

It’s about a third of a bottle of wine e every night.
i know i should tell him, but he has enough stress to deal with

How can your husband not see that you're drunk?

The brilliant thing, OP, is that you have recognised that your drinking is a problem. That's actually HUGE, and I really respect you for being honest with yourself. That's the first step.

I get that it will be hard to ask for help. But it sounds like things are hard now without the help, because you know that something needs to change.

Is there someone you trust that you could talk to? Your DH? A friend? Your GP?

I wouldn't judge if a friend told me what you've said here. I would admire them for having the courage to face up to it. And I would want to help.

I wish you all the best. Please do get some help.

No, I hide it well. Too drunk to drive or anything really responsible, but I function well. I can still cook dinner, help with homework. I’m just very relaxed and fun rather than cross and moody

1/3 of a bottle - so thats a large glass of wine? I dont think thats too bad. Could you go a day without drinking? Is it a habit or addiction? Is it likely to lead to a bottle of wine+ a night?

I lived with an alcoholic for a couple of months when I was much younger. She drank a lot but I think she must have developed a high tolerance for it. She never appeared to be drunk.

She did get help, I believe, and I understand that she is teetotal now, though I'm no longer in contact.

You’re not being unreasonable to recognise you need help.

Perhaps this thread is the first small step in telling someone, even though this is safely anonymous?

Hopefully someone who has been through this can advise you who to talk to first?

U need serious help and need to take it serious also. U are on a very slippery rope here.

I grew up with an alcoholic father….my friends knew and thought he was funny.
I can tell you it wasn’t funny to me.

Stop thinking about YOU and think about your children.

Honestly nothing worse than a drunk/ alcoholic parent not giving a toss about how it affects their kids. You’re the adult FFS

It isn't helpful to minimise the problem. The OP is drinking secretly and says she can't stop. That isn't what a healthy relationship with alcohol looks like.

I guess that’s why I’ve posted.
Im very aware of drink more, people around me will notice/ suffer. But I just sneak it. It’s ridiculous

I’m willing to bet it’s more than a large glass of wine

is your job and life quite stressful OP?

The fact she’s hiding it shows it’s a problem and she said she can’t stop.

You’re not FUN or relaxed, you’re drunk…..

I could always see as soon as my Dad had a drink even if everyone else thought he was funny…….

Im 50 now and my Dad wasted so many years the same way and died at 67 never meeting his Grandkids!

Can he not smell it on your breath?

Obviously not!

Yes very

If your hiding it your an acoholic. Seek help.
if you can’t do anything responsible then no you can’t function well. Don’t excuse it with stress - your an alcoholic and unless you face it head on it’ll get worse.

It's great that you have posted, and that you are aware of the potential impact on the people around you. Those are good first steps.

Don't be put off from seeking help by the posts which seem critical. People will have their own baggage associated with alcohol, and the issues that you are raising will be triggering for some.

And it isn't ridiculous. It's an illness, and willpower alone probably isn't enough to cure it. You need help from people who will understand. The good news is, that help is out there if you can find the courage to seek it.

I'm sure you love your kids, so if you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, please find the strength to it for them. You won't regret it.

I'm struggling to understand how you haven't developed a tolerance and that drinking a large glass of wine a night has any real effect. I know it's not ideal especially if you can't stop this needs to be addressed. But it's not a huge amount of alcohol, many people drink several units more a week and would be horrified at the suggestion it might be an issue. That's not me saying you don't have a problem, you obviously do - but could it be that you're drinking a little more than that?