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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you complain?

89 replies

Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:28

I took my baby to a GP appointment today regarding a rash under their chin after beginning weaning. Baby was lying on the bed and we needed them to look up so the doctor could see. I dug my keys on phone out my pocket and dangled them in the air, and tapped my screen so that the screensaver photo came on (baby smiled and looked up, so this worked.

He glanced for half a second under her chin and said straight faced, ‘parenting tip here for you, do not let them look at your phone’. I laughed thinking it was a joke but it was obvious from his expression that it wasn’t. I’ve thought on it and I feel a bit annoyed to be honest. Even if I were playing cartoons, he is there to look at a medical concern and not comment on anything else. I am a younger mum and left DH in the car and wonder if either of that was different perhaps he wouldn’t have said it.

AIBU to feed it back? I don’t want to be that person but I do think it was out of order and an arrogant thing to say, however minor a comment

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 15/05/2025 16:34

I would let that go, maybe he was worried that you’re popping the baby 8n front of a phone, maybe it’s not good for their eyes? I have no idea, but I don’t think it was a terrible thing, possibly unnecessary as you were juggling keys, my favourite thing when my cousins were small, they all loved jangling keys.

purpleme12 · 15/05/2025 16:36

Wow I'd be pissed off to be honest

I'd find it patronising

Don't know if I'd be pissed off enough to make a complaint

B1anche · 15/05/2025 16:37

Don't complain. It's really not a big issue.

PrettyPuss · 15/05/2025 16:37

I wonder if he has older children who he now struggles to get off their phones? That would be my bet.

I wouldn't complain, no.

Ponderingwindow · 15/05/2025 16:39

There are legitimate concerns about babies and screen time. It is completely within a doctor’s remit to address the issue as a developmental concern. In my country this is a standard part of an appointment because we have non sickness appointments with our doctors for young children where the focus is entirely on development. I believe in the uk this might be more likely addressed with a health visitor check-in, but it still isn’t unusual for a doctor to mention.

Littlemiracles232504 · 15/05/2025 16:42

I bet he sees far too many little ones come through that door placed in front of phones/tabs ect
id find his comment a bit patronising tbh, but I would just take it with a pinch of salt
it won’t be the last patronising comment, as a parent these days I can’t seem to do right from wrong no matter what I do

RoseofRoses · 15/05/2025 16:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 15/05/2025 16:43

Let it go.

it’s just advice you don’t agree with.

Icecreammaninavan · 15/05/2025 16:43

Your doctor sounds very sensible. Babies should never be on phones.

Original poster
Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Not teens, mid 20s but classed as younger in our area I’d say.

OP posts:
Original poster
Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:43

Icecreammaninavan · 15/05/2025 16:43

Your doctor sounds very sensible. Babies should never be on phones.

Baby wasn’t on a phone :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:45

purpleme12 · 15/05/2025 16:36

Wow I'd be pissed off to be honest

I'd find it patronising

Don't know if I'd be pissed off enough to make a complaint

Thanks! Glad I wasn’t the only one.

OP posts:
wafflesmgee · 15/05/2025 16:46

It’s good advice. Just pretend phones dont exist around your baby. I would have said something too. You are annoyed because the doctor was right but you need to take the advice not complain. It is his job to help you make the right choices to bring up your child healthily…he is a DOCTOR… YABU

wafflesmgee · 15/05/2025 16:47

The doctor gave you that advice because it is good advice not because of your age

HuffleMyPuffle · 15/05/2025 16:47

Babies and screen time causing addictions, eye issues, attention disorder.... sounds like it's a doctor's remit tbh

MatildaMovesMountains · 15/05/2025 16:49

Let it go - what would a complaint achieve? And why did you feel the need to take up a previous GP appointment over a little localised rash under the chin of an otherwise well baby?

Love51 · 15/05/2025 16:49

He's not wrong.
I wouldn't have complained about something like this, no. Maybe chalked him up as a bit pompous, but only mentally, not as a complaint.

MatildaMovesMountains · 15/05/2025 16:50

He probably (rightly) felt you were wasting his time.

Original poster
Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:51

MatildaMovesMountains · 15/05/2025 16:49

Let it go - what would a complaint achieve? And why did you feel the need to take up a previous GP appointment over a little localised rash under the chin of an otherwise well baby?

Edited

Possibly a reformed attitude to interactions with parents and caregivers and an awareness of when to say something and when not. If I’d pulled out YouTube or CBeebies then yes I would agree. I haven’t (and don’t). I take my child to classes, spend all day reading, singing and playing, and lots of time outside. ‘Parenting tip’ is condescending. This was one symptom that we were there for, the rest I don’t need to disclose as it isn’t relevant in any way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:52

Love51 · 15/05/2025 16:49

He's not wrong.
I wouldn't have complained about something like this, no. Maybe chalked him up as a bit pompous, but only mentally, not as a complaint.

Thanks, this is fair!

OP posts:
pimplebum · 15/05/2025 16:52

Yes you a right I doubt he would have said same thing to a dad it was patronising and unnecessary considering how you were using the phone just to get a good angle for the doctor

but I’d not complain, I would have some comment ready if ever I encountered that doctor again , something simple and non aggressive like “ are you giving me parental advice ?” He may then go on to patronise you about phone use and you can say “ it’s ok I have read the studies regarding phones and babies and I have arrived at my own conclusions “

thismummydrinksgin · 15/05/2025 16:52

He’s there for the health and well being of the child and the family, and in all honesty it is better for babies not to look at screens. Take it as it was intended, a bit of advice x

MatildaMovesMountains · 15/05/2025 16:54

Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:51

Possibly a reformed attitude to interactions with parents and caregivers and an awareness of when to say something and when not. If I’d pulled out YouTube or CBeebies then yes I would agree. I haven’t (and don’t). I take my child to classes, spend all day reading, singing and playing, and lots of time outside. ‘Parenting tip’ is condescending. This was one symptom that we were there for, the rest I don’t need to disclose as it isn’t relevant in any way.

Show quote history

I wouldn't let it take up space in your head. He's a busy GP, he doesn't need schooling by you.

Icecreammaninavan · 15/05/2025 17:00

Galaxyca · 15/05/2025 16:43

Baby wasn’t on a phone :)

Show quote history

You said you baby looked at the screen saver. You put your phone on to distract your baby. Babies should never be on phones. Babies don’t need to know such a thing exists. Sounds like you’re embarrassed because you’ve been pulled up on your parenting

ShillyShallySherbet · 15/05/2025 17:03

Get used to this, this won’t be the last time you’ll receive unsolicited advice about your parenting. No need to complain, that’ll be a waste of time.