HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

He’s not making this look any better, possibly even enjoying the attention, so just block him now.

So gross. Naughty cleaning lady is also a category of porn.

Bullshit do straight men text each other about pulling the head off it, are you horny? Etc.

Sleazy cowardly creep.

"I don't want to lose you" - very fucking professional.

I need a bloody wash after reading that. He's revolting

You have ever right to be furious and I am glad you told his missus

Innocent until proven guilty usually means nothing on Mumsnet when it concerns men

None of us can ever 100% know his intentions but in a way they are utterly irrelevant. His actions have made the OP feel deeply uncomfortable working for him and she has every right to never go back there.

If he is upset about that, then it would benefit him to take FAR greater care in the sending of sexually explicit texts to his contacts. He isnt "owed" a second chance - the OP barely knows this guy to be able to judge whether she should give him a second chance or not. Actions have consequences whether we intend them to or not.

If he doesnt like the consequences then he should be more careful in future. If this had happened in an office scenario there would also be consequences. I also note his apology texts focus more on him not wanting to "lose" the OP rather than acknowledging how uncomfortable it must have made her feel which isnt great either.

The “I don’t want to lose you” is gross btw. 100% block, delete, disengage.

Please refocus on something else.

Yes but I also think once the action has been done, he has to face the consequences. (Not speaking legally) Lack of intent could be a mitigating factor and intent would be aggravating factor, but generally if the deed has been done and OP was made to read the text, IMO it was sexual harassment in itself, even if from his carelessness or negligence.

My commenting that it might not be on purpose (I do acknowledge there’s a high likelihood it was on purpose, again the track record of the male species) is because I can’t stand to see a load of women (in their absolute certainty) acting like they don’t know how modern phones work. Yes there is a reasonable suspicion based on his lack of realisation, but there’s equally the obvious possibility that he uses phones like everyone else does in the 21st century, ie relies on notifications…

It’s very off-putting and a bad look for women to seem to have such a poor grasp of daily life tasks. It doesn’t help the cause in the way they think it does.

@LemonLass as someone who has supported you wholeheartedly, can you explain this?

You send sexts and other intimate messages without checking where they are going?

This wasn’t “don’t forget to pick up the milk”.

How predictable. He waits until you react negatively and then claims 'mistake'. He's done this before and sees 'mistake' as a way to get off the hook. I'm only surprised he didn't say he was 'joking'.

The screenshots are from my samsung that I am using RN. Why someone would say they are not the same phone is beyond me.

I have certainly missent embarrassing messages before without realising.

Embarassing messages (sexting) your lad mates enquiring if they are horny though. It doesnt ring true. If he said was meant for gf I could believe that!

You are wrong there. The screenshot is a text convo on this phone. I dont know why anyone would benefit from editing screenshots apart from annonymity purposes

Ahh so no normal behaviour for men, but you're very eager to point out normal behaviour for women. How strange...

You will never know op but honestly to me the text he sent does sound a lot more like something someone might send a mate than to someone he wants to hit on. It sounds more like he's teasing his mate about being horny and joking about himself rather than getting off on it.

However, as I said you can't be sure so you are totally within your right to not go back and also to be miffed to miss out on employment because he was very careless if nothing else.

My point was not everyone who doesn't have notifications on is "technologically handicapped"
Phones make us way too available

What have I said is a normal behaviour for women? Are you feeling alright?

This post has gone wild.
People bleating on about how it’s an honest mistake - I challenge you to send similar to your boss & come back and let us know how that one ends.

It’s actually ageist to assume that because he’s 70 he’d somehow be clueless using a mobile phone & oblivious that he’d sent that to the cleaner.

I bet you all jump on posts saying women should speak up. ‘Weren’t there any signs!?’
Let’s stop pretending a 70 yr old adult male isn’t capable of talking to people in the appropriate tone, words & manner.

He wants you to believe he asked one of the lads 'Are you horny?'!!!

BUUUUULLLLLSSSHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!

If he had meant the message to go to his GF he would have said so and if she believes that utterly shit excuse she's a feckin' idiot.

Well done for standing up for yourself, OP.

He fucked up and now he'll have to deal with the consequences.

Hope you find a replacement job very soon.x.

@WhatdoesitmeanKeith

Well what does the latest string mean, keith?! Pls check image.

Disgusting pig. He is crossing the line by sending normal texts, you're not a friend, I'd be disgusted.
I'd go over with a bucket full of freezing water and ice, tip it between his legs, he wouldn't be wanking for a while.

Full speed backpedal

Absolutely vile from him and I'm hald you're not going back. Brings back horrible memory for me whrn I was younger when a man told me in great detail how he was going to have a W so that he could last longer with his girlfriend later. As a result of this I had to spend the last money I had on a taxi to get away from.him. makes me angry and sad ehrn I think back.

It goes from bad to worse doesn’t it…

His reply is full of shit.
Imagine he drugged you while you are at his house. 😳
There is not way that I'd consider it a mistake.
He was trying his luck, just because you were kind to him, he assumed that you would want to pleasure him too. Vile fool.

Own the mistake, right?

Insulting my intelligence now.

I have had a bad experience (gaslit over 20 years) so i need help to spot what's gojng on but bloody hell, i think I finally get it. If it looks and smells like BS, it definitely is BS