HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

Well done for asserting your boundaries, op. Hope you find another client who respects you better.

A message like that for some people is absolutely nothing remarkable or outof the ordinary at all.

Has the GF replied to you?

I have reported some of the posts attacking OP's decision to resign from a job where she has been sexually harassed and inform the person who introduced her to her employer why she has resigned. It is not appropriate to attack OP for protecting herself and also protecting other cleaners who will be going solo into a domestic environment and risking sexual harassment. OP has just had an unpleasant experience and had to lose her employment as a result.

ewwww just saw the additional message - that wasn't meant for you but his gf but I wouldn't clean for him any longer. Creepy.

I can't believe some of the posts on here defending this horrible man.

I'm glad you messaged his gf. He 100% was testing the water with you and it is sexual harassment.

From a client?

I think you handled the whole situation just fine. Creepy bloke. A veneer of civilisation but just a sexist pig underneath. All this excusing him of 'sent to the wrong person' is a load of rubbish. I mistext sometimes. I also notice I've messaged the wrong person and either delete or apologise.

He was fishing. He's a perve, like any other bloke. Him being a professional makes zero difference. Him being old makes zero difference. Young, clever, chavvy, sophisticated, elegant, old. Underneath, there is a large % of the male population that are sleazy. We all know this. They're gross and need to evolve.

It was the verbal equivalent of a dick pic. No one wants them. And you'd better bet that if someone's partner sent me a dick pic that I'd be forwarding it to their better half. Don't like that? Don't send them.

Obviously not. To a partner. If you read what I am replying to it should be clear I am saying that the idea that if he'd meant to send it to his partner he must have noticed if he didn't get a reply is simply not accurate - it wouldn't necessarily be a very big deal at all.

Unfortunately his name is way to common to report him e.g Adam Smith type (generic) name. He works as a locum. I don't want to cause $hit with a 'he said she said' argument.

I appreciate everyone's input - it has helped clarify my thinking.

You send texts to wrong recipients. We all have.

You know who you are sexting.
If no response, a typical person might check and be MORTIFIED and apologise if it was sent in error.

His text asked if I was horny. One would safely assume you want an answer to a question. It isn't something you would check 12 hours later. You would be waiting?

@FMc208 I am so desperate for the work to be honest but I won't put myself in the firing line if this is a big red flag. I have trouble spotting big red flags!

Has the partner replied/seen your message?

You're excusing sleazy men. Predatory men. It's the thin end of the wedge to being a rape apologist.

He replied it was a mistake. If she has unlawfully lost her job then yes she should take legal action on this matter. She won’t get far because it was a mistake - no doubt proof can be provided by his other conversation or the other person verifying. She also sent it to the man’s partner. If this man’s partner had a signed employment contract with the op then she is the employer and should be involved. If there’s no signed contract with the partner then she’s not the employer. The op can get advice at citizens advice. It all comes down to intent - did he intend to send this to the op? The answer is no. Why did she receive it - it was sent in error.

100%. For posters saying OP shouldn’t have told his partner, there are 3 reasons. It makes the partner aware:

• As her hirer, why she’s understandably resigned.

• As a future hirer, that she could be putting other women at risk of sexual harassment, or worse.

• As her friend, that he may be sending sexual texts to people other than her.

I think you dodged the bullet that was the big red thing frankly!

Does that apply in the case of self-employment though?

OP it’s pretty clear you don’t want this job, because you’re flatly refusing to consider there could be an innocent explanation for this text, and refusing to ask the simple question that would give you answers. If you don’t want the job, why not just quit, rather than turning it into a massive MN drama? You seem to be revelling in everyone saying “poor you, what a pervert, evil nasty man, block him” etc. You clearly have no intention of ascertaining if this was an innocent mistake, or if he is a sleazy perv. So what is it you want?

You did exactly the right thing. Years ago I started a job cataloging a man's record and book collection and in amongst it all were loads of sex toys, it was so odd and inappropriate and I left immediately. Always trust your instincts.

No word back from gf

She has? Did you not at least read the OP's posts?

I think your post is a bit embarrassing 🤦‍♂️

Sent in error. She can report to where she wants of course.