HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

So only read the the OP’s post but I’m trying to figure out what the problem is…

@LemonLass He’s a client. If you don’t want to clean for him then tell the person who is paying you. Return the key and move on with your life (and business).

who cares if he meant to send it to you or not. Just move on.

I would actually let the partner know as they were the one who set up the arrangement- and I’d send the text to her. ‘ I am unable to continue to clean for your partner as I will not be comfortable doing so after recieving this message’ stuff him- he doesn’t deserve to have you just quit

I can't link the Poster who said "that's saucy etc. to try and test him now."

That isn't good advice. If you feel uneasy, do not encourage sexual advances or teasing to try and test a situation. If you feel uneasy, (I'm not talkng about this situation specifically) in early days or at anytime, then find a way to remove yourself.

As it goes on this situation I have no idea what has happened;

It may be that he meant the text for his partner and is too embarrassed to say he sent it on accident. He may not be concerned his partner has not responded, we do not know their communication pattern.

Or he has sent it you OP as a test, it's a pretty bold one! Either way if he makes you uncomfortable then you don't need to go tomorrow.

You were already feeling uncomfortable about having the plumber in the house and maybe you could use this as a reason to not come to tomorrow, if you want more time to think over whether you continue or not?

You can evaluate the situation of safety and context in your real world.

I personally think that as you could pick up other cleaning clients without the hassle or awkwardness but only you know what is best.

I'm English. Also old. Going out on the razz often just meant going for a evening/night out. Didn't even have to be messy or on the pull.
Just dressing up and going for a drink or dancing for example.

I think I remember being out on the razzle dazzle! Still say it now...when I'm out on the razzle dazzle! I'm not as old as I sound 🤣🤣.

He's obviously got a camera set up. So slag him off to your mates on the phone.

@Chickensky that was me who said 'saucy'. I wasn't suggesting anyone else do that. It's just something i might do if I really wanted to know if the text had been intentional. Any other reaction would just result in denial.
Obviously it's not a great idea to encourage a perv, but I'd probably want to be sure and not left wondering if it was just a very unfortunate mistake. And also relieved if it was meant for someone else
I'd be blocking and never seeing him again whatever the outcome.
To reiterate, I wasn't advising the OP to do this . Just thinking out loud how i would respond

Neither do I I'm confused

I sympathise I really do. But after reading 20 pages of tho same advice, phrased slightly differently, but eating no further forward, I have had enough and will be signing off. I hope it all works out.

How long was it between his message about route and the last one? I definitely think it was sent in error to you. The fact he hasn’t responded apologising is bad. I would send message back saying “would you care to explain why this was sent to me” and take it from there.

I'm confused that you are confused. How is there nothing wrong in asking your cleaner if she's horny, then going on about lube and wanking? 🤷‍♀️

as it follows the route and cafe message about his plans, I suspect he sent that same message to someone else (his partner) and then accidentally sent the follow up.

he hasn’t noticed as knows he sent the cafe message to that person.

Personally, I would ignore unless more messages come through.

@Hadmysay & @Member869894
You need to click on the image to view the entire message

Oh please. Surely if he'd sent that message to someone else, he would still be checking for a reply. There is no way he hasn't noticed. If I sent a message like that to my other half and got no response, my first thought would be to check that it did actually go to him.

You have to click on the image to see the last text where he asks her if she’s horny and talks about jerking off with lube.

Thanks for responding, as I hadn't found the original "saucy" quote. I personally would have responded "I think you meant to send this to someone else other than me". It's clear, it ends the conversation and gives an opportunity for the person to apologise if they haven't noticed. Also gives them a chance with 'no encouragement / mixed messages" to double down and go for it and then you'd know for sure.

I would tell him that the cost for cleaning is now $50 an hour on account of him being a dirty perve.

If he didn’t pay it then I would out his behaviour.

But how would that message he sent be relevant to his partner. That doesn't make any sense.

he's a sleaze ball and you surely don't need his business.

Id just not go back and block him. You don't have to justify anything.

as Kate Moss says

Don't complain, don't explain.

as for being polite, don't bother!

I only saw the thumbnail.
I didn't realize if you clicked on it the message expands.
Yes if he meant to send it to her he was wrong

Isn't that blackmail😂

I’m not sure tbh.

The message doesn’t really warrant a reply, and not everyone, especially the older generation, are permanently clued their phones.

I normally think the bloke is perving, but in this case i think it’s an accident and he just hasn’t realised.
There is just nothing in the other texts, they are all normal and it just suddenly jumps to that, as if it’s a reply.
ages ago i sent my boss a message meant for my mate. I didn't get a reply back.
when i checked later i assumed i either didn't press send or it hadn't gone through.
I only realised when my boss told me the next day.
im not even anywhere neither this blokes age either!

Also, for those saying the message was intended for his partner - I don’t think it was

I don’t think it was intended for the OP or his partner

Literally an insane thread. All the posts advising the OP to ask if the message was intended for her and then make a decision accordingly based on his response - as if there is a single fucking chance he could come back with "yeah, sorry, it was indeed meant for you 🙁"

Honestly wtf are those DOZENS of PPs thinking?

Oh no way would I reply asking if it was a mistake.

I wouldn't be going back!! I wouldn't feel safe being near him. Give him the keys back in the letterbox and let him read through his messages and wonder why! Funny how it's never women sending stuff 'by accident'...