HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

@LemonLass could the word "razz" have connotations we dont know about 🤷‍♀️🥴

Isn’t it just.
And surely by now the old dude is aware he’s sent the pervy text to you.
Plenty of time for him to fix his mistake - regardless of how embarrassed he is. He should have immediately corrected it and apologised.
I’ll bet you £10Million he thinks you’ll walk into his house and nobody will say a word - like it just never happened.
Well it DID happen and you’re grossed out.
And he’s probably far more icky than that one stray message.
Remember: you’re worth infinitely more than £13 an hour.
You be safe. ❤️

I suppose that's possible. Razz certainly isn't a word I'm familiar with.

What’s funny about it?

Bin him off.
He's a sleaze. You don't need that kind of crap. And I agree that you are not charging enough.

Me either. To start with I thought that was meant to be the inappropriate part! WTF does razz mean OP? Sounds kinda rude tbh.

Really @k1233? 🙈

"... you can't make it tomorrow as something unexpected has come up"???!!! As @LemonLass has already told him to have a "razz" on his bike (no I have no-idea either!), and he has told the OP what he was intending to do just after he sent his text - whether that was originally meant for her or not - for her to now say that to him, might seem like flirting to him ... 🤭

Don’t be ridiculous!

That's not a message you sent to a partner. It just isn't. It's not sexting to suddenly decide to tell your partner you jack off to porn. It's not even normal in most relationships. Sexting is, 'Are you horny? Can't stop thinking about your... what I would do to... blah blah' It's not 'I jack off to porn'!!! This was either meant for her or best case scenario someone else he's being pervy with that isn't his partner. But I think probably for her.

You can't ever go back of course.

You say you don't see his partner aside from her contacting you about this job and that he is the one who pays you. So telling his partner isn't necessary and that also gets you further into drama. Also, it's not all that hard to find another cleaning job.

So this doesn't need to be any big stress on you at all. You don't even have to say anything. Just don't go there anymore. Let him deal with any consequences of his creepy behavior. He's the one who did it.

Hi @LemonLass, I hope that by the time you read this you have not only had a good night's sleep - without any nightmares - but that you have also had a grovelling apology from him, explaining how he thought that he had sent that text to his girlfriend, but had then been very 'busy' for the rest of the day, and hadn't realised that he hadn't sent it to her until she rang him late last night to say goodnight!

However, even if you did get a text along those lines, I don't know if you would really want to find yourself thinking about that very embarrassing text, every time you saw him? I don't think I could carry on working for him having now seen him in that light, but do what feels comfortable and right for you. Good luck OP 💐

I'm with PP not knowing what having a razz would have meant and not being at all surprised to have found out it was referring to something sexual. Don't carry on working for this guy, tell the person who hired you why if you need to, don't send messages about having a razz to someone unless you are sure that the person you are sending it to knows exactly what that means in your vocabulary.

To all those saying the sex text is a completely different tone and if it was meant for OP, he would have mentioned something suggestive related to her job cleaning for him
.
Well if he did that and made it specific and personal to the OP he would have no way of backtracking and saying if wasn't meant for her.

I think there's only one way to find out what his intention was, and if he gets the impression OP is offended, he'll definitely say it was a mistake.

If I really wanted to know, I wouldn't let him know that I was disgusted straight away. I'd reply with something a bit vague such as 'oh, saucy'.
If it was meant for OP and he was testing the waters, he'll carry on if he thinks she's up for it
He'll likely send her another filthy text and she'll have her answer. And no way to deny or back track then. At which point I'd tell him he's a filthy creep and to F off.

Either way, I wouldn't go back. I'd feel awkward and see him in a different light even if it was a mistake. I'm grossed out from here

In American English slang, "razz" means to tease or ridicule someone, often in a playful or lighthearted way. It can also refer to a raspberry, a sound of contempt. In some British English slang, "on the razzle" means to be out enjoying oneself or celebrating, especially while drinking.

I'm English, I'm old, and we definitely used to say "on the razzle" meaning out for a intentionally messy night. Some people may have used "on the razz" to mean on the pull.

While these are not things you'd normally do on a motorbike, I don't really see that OP's comment could be read as suggestive by anyone but the kind of sleazy git who hears anything a woman says as suggestive.

Sounds like a wind up

At last! Someone speaking sense!

Really? Someone got hold of his phone and played a prank? I would have thought men in their 70's would be past that nonsense. And a younger man wouldn't put a 70 year old professional man in that position.

I would have already sent the screen shot to his partner and quit. I don't understand if this happened, why you would not have done so immediately.

I'm with those who think it was sent in error as it just doesn't look like a first text on those lines would.
The lack of reply could be because the guy sent several short messages of a similar nature so recipient would have replied to one of the later ones.
I think he hasn't noticed the errant message or if he has, is mortified and wondering what to do.

Did I say it was funny? I suggested men like him if indeed he did send it deliberately would probably just laugh when confronted. If someone is capable of this type of behaviour they wouldn't be concerned about a negative reaction.

But just to add, I would be grossed out by it and wouldn't go back if I didn't have to.

Don’t go back again, he’s a creep. But also stop being pally/ overfamiliar with your clients. Any messages should only be purely about work. Not chit chat about the weather and going out on bikes etc.

your first response (thanks will do) should’ve been your only response.

Not one to defend men but it’s so out of place it might not be for you. Still, men do this kind of crap sometimes to test the waters (usually they start a little milder tho)

Been a cleaner for years and you really need to get near the price even £20-25ph is about the norm in the north east where I live and if they want ironing done that's extra, always fully booked aswell, sometimes think I should expand out but couldn't be bothered with all the bookwork and if staff weren't at my standards. But yes you could be earning a lot more

Seems like it was meant for the partner. Probably did what I’ve done dozens of times before and seen a message pop up and gone to reply to it, only for my phone to open up on my last messaged person.

just an unfortunate choice of words