HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

Why not message him any of these:
Did you mean to send this to me?
Why did you send this?
Please don't send me such messages.

Not sure why involve his gf, yes it could be a mistake and meant for someone else.
Lots of threads on here about just that. Saucy messages sent to the boss, colleague, parents etc by mistake, it happens.

Reason he hasn't followed up would be he hasn't noticed it went to the wrong person.

If you're unsatisfied then quit, but why run when you can challenge him?

Haven't read the rest of the thread, but that comment does look out of place.

I’m in my 60s. I was raped by the mayor of our town on a school trip when I was 16.
I am SICK TO DEATH of these pervs being gross and insulting and inappropriate and women meekly backing away and handing back their keys or not calling the police after they’ve been assaulted for fear they’re the ones who’ll get in trouble.
Go to the guy. Show him the text and ask him if the text was for you. When he sheepishly laughs and tells you no, that was a mistake, inform him there’s nothing funny about it and toss him the key.
In no world is £13 an hour worth that shit.
Absolutely not.
You are worth infinitely more than that, @LemonLass. Surely you know that.❤️

@LunaShadow it has made me feel really uncomfortable. He can do wjat he wants in his own home obvs but that text is vile.

People saying he wont have noticed sending it to me, I cant imagine if he was sexting someone (whoever he intended it for) wouldnt warrant him checking for a response to his message.

Realistically, I would say he knows or I would have expected an apology for the "mistake". How to navigate still difficult but have lots of feedback. Thanks everyone for your input. I have read every message.

I will sleep on it and decide how to tackle it in the morning when rested.

Not really, not if he was having a convo with someone on the same page which I suspect what was happening.

It's a comment that was completely out of place with the rest of the message sent to OP. I'd put anything on this being mistakenly sent to her. It can happen. Multiple conversations, post one comment to the wrong person.

OP forward the message to the person who introduced you to him, stating you’re not going back.
Whether or not it was intended for you, I couldn’t get past the possibility of him trying it on while I was cleaning or the idea of him wanking away over the thoughts of me cleaning - sleazy grim man. People say all men are like this- who knows but this one definitely is

Has he sent you a message meant for someone else by accident?

Bloody hell, @DreamTheMoors. That is hideous.

Thank you for your support and input. I just wanted a little sideline to help pay the bills but the text has blindsided me and creeped me out to the point that I dont feel comfortable with what he sent.

I’m not one for making excuses for sleazy men but this came out of the blue so I would assume he was simultaneously liaising with you about the plumber and sexting his partner (who you say does not live with him) and made an error. There are lots of examples of this in the relevant thread in Classics. I’ve done it myself but luckily not with a text like the one you got.

I'm more shocked you don't get paid more than £13 an hour. I charge £22.50 minimum 3 hours

OP, again have you considered the possibility, even if its a slim possibility, that it could be this sms spoofing I've read about. You should definitely confront him and see what he does,at least that's what I would do.

Who are these one-sided sexters? I thought he would expect a reply from anyone and checking his phone then "oh blimey, sorry colin the coalman, that wasnt meant for you"

Whether deliberate or an accident, his action has understandably creeped you out enough to stop working for him, and it’s his fault either way. He should pay you a period of notice, but whether you want to pursue that is another thing. He has also crossed a legal line by harassing you, deliberately or accidentally. Again, pursue or not is the question.

Another vote for accidental sexting. As pp have said, it’s completely at odds with the other messages down to the tone and the grammar. I don’t think people are ‘bending themselves in knots’ as one pp said or trying to defend it. It’s just offering a very plausible reason why you may have ended up with the msg.

Either way it’s incredibly awkward and I definitely don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable about it. But sometimes people make errors with tech, I’ve done it before, not with sexting but with a message meant for someone else. I also had a friend who was discussing breaking up with her bf with a friend but sent the text to said bf. It happens all the time.

If the job is important to you then at least confront him and make your decision based on his reaction.

@GarlicPile that analogy is hilarious! No one wants to be punched in the face. But plenty of people happily exchange sexual texts. That message wouldn’t do it for me, but not everyone is the same. It’s possible it was meant for someone else, who might like it. Unlike a punch in the face, which no one enjoys.

Unfortunately happened to me whilst I was breast feeding new mum. A handyman who I've had do alot of jobs mentioned how my breasts would get big with feeding etc, I should have got rid of him on the spot but I was scared

@frillynix if the example of friend texting their bf accidentally, creeps me out to think he was about to have a tug and sent me the whole graphic scenario. Urgh!

@LemonLass as I said earlier, my friend takes hours to notice she’s sent me texts that are meant for her boyfriend, and that’s despite me replying with a ?😂

This.

I would think it was accidental aswell

I can't believe not one person has acknowledged there is such a thing as sms spoofing.There are a few posters who suggested hacking but to read sms spoofing can happen nowadays is shocking,yet nobody wants to believe it.

I hope you find out either way OP. If it's a text from this man & it's meant for you that's terrible but imo this has still to be ascertained for certain.

Oh yes it’s grim no doubt. You’ll probably never be able to look at him the same way again! However there’s a difference between a simple, albeit gross, genuine error and a predatory, testing the waters msg with clear intention behind it. Personally I would want to find out which it was before I made any decisions.

Crikey. Just tell him that you can't clean for him anymore.

If that's routine for him and his partner then no, he wouldn't be sitting there waiting anxiously for a reply and constantly checking his phone. Also, if it was part of an active, long conversation, he might not even notice it was missing.
I don't say these things are, I say they could be. The way for you to find out, if you want to know, is to respond.

@PickAChew it would be more like will not clean for him (after that sexually graphic message)