HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

Why send it to his GF? Is she his boss?

Yeah, but are you going to block him and post his key back ?
Despite half of mumsnet convincing themselves a nice elderly middle class retired dentist couldn't be a predatory pervert, He is.

Even if it was an accident - I wouldn’t feel comfortable. And I don’t think you feel comfortable OP. Sleep on it.

Perfect advice.

What if it was his partner! To see if they have a thing!

No but seriously, I do think it was probably for you. I would find a cleaning job elsewhere. And for £18 p/h minimum!!

Send the screenshot to both & say “ My mother just picked up my phone & found this horrible text” What’s it all about?

There's an amazing lack of boundaries in this thread, never mind assertiveness.

OP, do tell him off.
Quit or don't, it's up to you. I doubt he's an assault risk or anything but you'd be reasonable not to want to be around a dirty-minded, misogynistic sleaze.
If you quit, send the screenshot to his partner.

Women of Mumsnet: please do a fucking assertiveness course!

@SnippitySnappitySnop ‘Razz it up’ doesn’t mean much. OP was talking about his bike but I think he thought as it was chatty ‘banter’ type language and ‘being on the same page’ as him that he liked it and sent the disgusting message. It wasn’t a mistake and all these apologists for a chancy, abusive, dirty old man need to wake up. He was trying it on or he would have sent an ‘oh shit, sorry, meant for someone else’ message asap. And why should OP have to message him to get an apology? Jeez.

Sorry if this has already been suggested but could you just message back "Was this meant for me?" which is fairly neutral. If he did mean it for you he might try his luck as you haven't encouraged him but haven't shut him down either and then you'll know where you stand.

OP I don’t know why you can’t just reply saying “was that meant for me?” A friend of mine regularly sends me texts meant for her boyfriend. I always reply “?😂” but she often doesn’t notice until hours later!

I’ll put your key through your door.

Me neither…just about being out on the bike and having route sorted 🤷‍♀️

Just edited as apparently hadn’t opened the whole message 🙄

So fucking gross sending that to ANYONE

Disgusting old bastard.

If it's an innocent mistake he's too embarrassed to apologise.

Topless selfie that's very Putin like and icky.

I couldn't go back and would post the key.

If you click on the image you’ll see the extremely inappropriate bit. I wonder whether the tradesman being there tomorrow is a fib to see how OP reacts to being alone in the house with a strange man being there - no adverse reaction, so he’s gone a step further to see how she responds to this message 🤮

"Was this meant for me?" (post after post after post)

It doesn't matter. He sent it to OP, she received it. If someone punches you in the face but they thought you were someone else, does that make it OK?

He's sent a message that amounts to sexual harassment. She's not only entitled, but morally correct, to express condemnation.

Sorry to reply by quoting, but Mumsnet seems to have “improved” its layout by replacing navigable pages with an infinite scroll that never reaches the end or the comment box.

“Are you …?" could be a rhetorical question to which he isn’t expecting an answer. He may not yet know he sent you it. But if you reply ‘WTF?’, ‘???’, ‘Meant for me?' etc and it was deliberate, you risk gratifying him with a reaction. If he denied it, could you believe or excuse him? Perhaps he has, whether mistaken or deliberate, irretrievably broken down trust. If so, let him know you are no longer his cleaner.

If so minded, you could no doubt pursue a case for harassment as you have a contractual relationship.

No, most people who suggest it could be a mistake are doing just that, saying it could have been a mistake. All the people who are convinced they know seem to know it wasn't.

That sleazy message was 💯 meant for you. Because you sent a nice text about the bike ride, he assumed he was in with a chance with you. This is how much in the gutter some men are.

I would say he sent it to you in error

It’s just so annoying that a woman can’t even go about her cleaning job without having unwanted sexual attention. What a creep.

Quote the message sent it to him telling him you're not coming tomorrow

I’m not saying a bot took over his phone and sent the text. Just that it has that same tone of generic bot messages from shady corners of Twitter or IG.

I guess what I was imagining is that he could have been viewing porn in that kind of context, copied or typed a comment in that style intending to post it under a pic, but sent to OP in error.

ETA I’m mostly seeking to understand the weird tonal shift, not absolve him of being a seedy old git generally. I absolutely wouldn’t be chill about going back if I were OP.

This must have been sent in error and he hasn’t realised. I would text to say this clearly isn’t meant for me.
However, it obviously makes you feel uncomfortable and on that basis I would also quit - accident or not, he should be more careful.