HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

That's absolutely grim. I totally recoiled when I read it. No way I'd have anything more to do with him. What a horrible position to put you in.

If chatty messages = will do (and a commemt about the weather)

And my opinion for what it’s worth is that he didn’t mean to send that message to you. It just doesn’t quite add up following his last message. I reckon he was having another conversation at the same time (hopefully to his partner!) and hasn’t realised he wrote it to you.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, OP.

I would block him and send the partner a screenshot. If you don't, she might badmouth you as unreliable to people she knows, hurting your professional reputation.

Meet her to give back the key and then move on with your life.

btw, as an aside OP... if you're looking for new clients, have you tried leafletting? I have moved to a new road and got leafletted recently by a cleaning company and I've now appointed a cleaner from the leaflet. You don't have to work for a lone man, there are plenty of working families out there looking for a cleaner .

He’s outed himself as a filthy, abusive bastard.

In your position, you should absolutely not tolerate this. If you let him get away with this and still clean for him, you will be the victim of further behaviour like this, or worse. He’s showing you who he is. And you must not accept it. If you do accept it, even with an apology, it will happen again.

I don’t think he sent this in error. He liked you saying razz it up and then thought it was ok to send that. Pervert.

That is disgusting.
A dentist local to me was found to have been inappropriate with several patients and convicted too. He was in his 60's.
I definitely think you should screen shot his partner.
I would be tempted to report him to his governing body.
Creep.

I would suggest if you're charging such a low rate you would come across as vulnerable and more easy to exploit, tbh, to a predator such as this.

I have a couple of foul uncles way older than 70 who would definitely pull this shit, the entitlement of them.

Trouble is, even in asking if it was intended for you, you may not get the truth.
He’s not going to reply and say “yes absofuckinglutely, I meant to send my wank fodder to you in hopes of living out my favourite French maid fantasy, 9am then for the wrinkly pipe cleaning?” Is he? Either way he’s going to say it was a mistake so OP will never know.

And definitely screenshot it and send it to his partner as explanation of why you won’t be going back or, as pp said, you will very likely be badmouthed as being unreliable.

why what does razz it up mean?

I would screen shot the "horny" part of the message then send it back to him with a question: "Is this meant for me?", if the answer is yes I would screenshot the conversation and send it to the partner then tell him he can keep his keys as you're not coming back.

Has his photo always been that selfie? TBH as soon as I saw that pic I wouldn't have wanted to work for him. I wouldn't care what excuse he gave me now. In fact I would block him and not turn up tomorrow. I wouldn't want to hear his pathetic justifications. And I would tell his partner - she needs to know who she's involved with.

No I mean your post that said ‘He can chit chat text (all innocent) but as it is a fornightly clean, I answer his texts Mon to Fri 9 to 5 and only if requires confirmation to do my job’.

That suggests more than the exchange shared here.

That’s shocking.
Whether deliberate or an innocent mistake, (and you will never know for sure, which it was) you can’t go there to clean again.
Don't even think of risking it OP.

You shouldn’t have to put up with that level of risk and stress of him being there or turning up while you are there. Don’t do it.

I wouldn’t respond at all. Just don’t turn up. No explanation.
You owe him nothing.
If his partner asks why you didn’t show up to his place, tell her to ask him, and refuse to talk about it further.

If he doesn't realise he sent that message to you he's not going to follow it up. If he does realise, but sent in error, he's hoping neither of you ever mention it again. I understand you not wanting to clean for him again. I don't understand why you haven't challenged him "Did you mean to send this to me?" Once he knows you have seen the text, it's going to look weird that you haven't responded.

Sounds like he was trying to set it up for you and the plumber to get it on while he was out on his ride. He has been watching too much porn.

Eg lemonlass, there are marks on the iron.

I reply I hadnt noticed any marks on the iron and something like it works as it should. I pointed out it had no cover for water section so it runs out of the iron when the iron is in use. I only brought that up because he was talking about a problem with the iron as if it was new and possibly damaged. It is old but ok but i didnt say the last part.

It wasn't a mistake.

That's what grim sleazy men will say as an excuse if you call them out.... oh so sorry, wasn't meant for you...

Block, return the keys. If the partner gets in touch with you to query, send her the screenshot.

I suspect this was meant for someone else, and it's been sent to you in error. The tone is completely different to the previous messages he sent. If he'd been flirty, and then sent the message, then yes, it probably was meant for you. However, compared to the other messages, it's completely random. I would be inclined to reply back 'I do hope that this message was sent to me in error, as it's not the type of message to send to the person who cleans your home'. He may not even realise he's sent it to you!

I would send the screenshot to both him and his partner (partner first) and tell them the key will be through the door in the morning. DO NOT go yourself; get someone else to do it.

As people keep telling you, because you haven't responded, he probably hasn't looked at the conversation with you. He won't see it when he looks at the conversation with someone else. There's no point you constantly replying to people who haven't thought of that and agreeing with them. Most people don't look at a conversation until a new message appears.
If you really want to know he's seen it, respond.

I'd just cut to the chase, screenshot it and send it to his GF saying you will not be cleaning for him anyone.

Nothing else needs to be said.

Block him.

Do we know the girlfriend definitely exists?

Even if she does, you can't go forwarding things like that to strangers unless you want to get in trouble yourself.

Who gaslit you in the past OP?