HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

He’s a bloke in his 70s whose SM profile pic is a topless selfie? Yeah, that wasn’t a mistake. He’s testing the waters. If you’d come straight back at him he could have plausible deniability (‘oh, I’m so sorry, I’m mortified, that wasn’t meant for you’). You didn’t, so he’s left hanging there in hopes you’re mulling it over.

Men are chancy fuckers, and getting old doesn’t suddenly make them less predatory, nor does it knock their confidence when it comes to assessing the age or type of woman they fancy their chances with. He’s having a punt, OP, and it’s sexual harassment. All the people falling over themselves to excuse him on the basis he’s some harmless old duffer who barely knows his arse from his elbow seem to be ignoring the fact that he’s a topless-selfie biker who can find his way around the internet well enough to locate Pornhub with the hand that’s not lubed up and down his pants.

There’ll be other clients. You don’t need to put up with this shit from a man whose house you’ll be nervous to be in from now on. Tell his partner or don’t, but don’t put yourself in a position where you feel upset and vulnerable for the sake of a few extra quid.

It is blatantly obvious that he has sent the message to the wrong person and he has not yet realised.

I think that was meant for you.

i can’t help but wonder if it’s the beginning of a grooming ploy where he can add ‘extras’ to your work. If he has a porn habit it is certainly possible he has normalised a kind of maid with hand jobs scenario in his head that sounds entirely plausible. Like you would appreciate the extra money, he’d happily be the sugar daddy, win win etc.

I like the idea of just sending: "???" and then wait and see what he says. You can still decide not to work for him even if he apologises.

A worrying amount of naive people here. Topless profile pic? Texting you to needlessly chat throughout the week? A porn-riddled text he can claim was a 'mistake' and get off on your shock when you fall into his trap and admonish him for it?

I'd just not turn up. Mail the keys back. The partner probably doesn't exist.

Oh and you should be charging over £20 an hour cleaning as self employed.

I think sleeping on it is the right thing to do. If it is a mistake, he will surely realise what he has done by the morning?

Definitely either message him and say “I hope that wasn’t meant for me?” so that he knows you’ve seen it and are disgusted. He will either reply that it was an intentional or a mistake and either way you can say “It’s inappropriate and I don’t feel comfortable cleaning for you anymore (obviously say worse if he admits he sent it to you on purpose!) Or send the screenshot to his GF and say “Sorry but due to this message, I will no longer be cleaning for XYZ.”
I agree with some PPs that it could be accidental as it could quite easily be that he’s not looked back at his messages to see he’s sent that to you. Or that he’s sent it by accident and thinks he’s deleted it entirely, but has actually only deleted it for himself, not for you.
Personally I’d be replying and calling him out on it ASAP. I’m not sure why you’re keeping quiet. You seem adamant that he’s done it on purpose, so why sit there quietly and not let him know immediately that you’re outraged? If he is a pervert then he may have achieved what he wanted to by shocking you.

This is the only way IMO. Absolutely gross and inappropriate.

This

😂 I love this

I think that text was probably meant for his partner!

I must have missed the topless profile pic - at age 70, yeah that's WEIRD.

Also, why is he texting you through out the week?

I am still inclined to challenge such inappropriate message. And call it out. AND also not go back to work for him.

Hang on, so you’ve cleaned for him twice, but have exchanged chatty messages here and there already?

It's really clear this wasn't for you. Look at the dull as shit stuff that was sent merely seconds before that.

He probably hasn't realised he's sent you that. He's sent the text, to the wrong person, and hasn't looked at your message thread because he's got nothing to say to you, and therefore doesn't know he sent his dirty talk to you...yet.

I don't think OP should respond. If he has done it on purpose he will get off on OP's upset. If he hasn't, he will realise sooner or later what has happened if OP doesn't turn up to clean.

Also, don't turn up at 9am in the morning. That'll prompt him to check his messages in the morning, and then we'll know by then that he's clearly checked it and seen it.

This.

OP speculating on here isn’t going to give you answers. You need to reply ‘Was that meant for me?’ or ??? as another poster suggested.
Then you take it from there. I’d probably quit working for him regardless but at least you have clarity on whether it was intentional or not.

What a load of rubbish

Indeed.

Your username is so relevant to this thread.

Thanks @EnjoythemoneyJane
This is how I am feeling with lack of him backtracking. If he sent that to gf partner, surely he would be waiting for their phone response and revisit message. Either "oh shit" and apology or he meant it?

He is 70 but not geriatric and capable of retaining locum work, golf, cycle, motorbike etc. He isnt sitting with feet in a massive slipper and soup on his cardi that some might imagine🙄

This is a good idea. That or reply and say you won't be returning anymore. That is just creepy!

I wouldn't be so sure. There are plenty of revolting men out there who would do this.

Did you click into the photo screenshot and read to the bottom?