HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

That your assumptions are ridiculous!

If you were working in an office and your boss sent that out of the blue, you wouldn’t have people making excuses. It’s totally unacceptable. Send a screenshot to person who pays you and say you won’t be returning. It’s sexual harassment. If you want to tolerate sexual harassment, do it for more than £13ph.

Honestly, this place!

The guy is probably sat there waiting for a reply from the person he thinks he sent it to!

How many people can honestly say they havent gone to reply to a message and accidentally written the reply in the last message sent recipient rather than the last message received. My old phone used to do that all the time.

If he has never sent any suggestive texts before then that is the most likely reason.

If there's been no messages since that one then it's perfectly possible he hasn't opened that chat again since he sent it.

My mum turns 70 next year and can barely use hers. And gets very angry if anyone tries to help her as ‘I just don’t want to and no-one can make me, everyone my age is like this, just leave me alone’.

There are 70yo’s and then there are Luddites. Though, he seems to be able to access porn alright so guessing he’s probably not in the latter category!

You have t click on the pic - I couldn't see the inappropriate bit at first either!

He hasn't sent later texts. She's just clarified that.

Reminds of when an old 'friend' used to get a hold of my phone and set a disgusting social media status or message my boss something ridiculous. That would be my excuse anyway....😁

Best to clarify before going there though. Or just don't go there.

I think this clearly looks like it was sent to you in error

There are various possibilities here. If it wasn't sent in error, he may possibly have Alzheimer's (without you being aware), symptoms of which can include reduced inhibition and sudden shockingly inappropriate comments, without the patient really understanding they've behaved improperly.

Or he may just be a perv, but it seems odd he hasn't revealed that earlier. Mind you the same can be said about Alzheimer's symptoms.

These messages were seconds apart and his other messages were respectful and informative about the next day. Logically this message was not meant for you and sent to you by mistake. Surely if he was a perv he would have sent a follow up message after that one.

1. Tonal shift is Way different. You have been working there for a month and he has never gave you any reason to feel unsafe/creeped out.
2. He would not realise yet that he has sent it to You in error as your conversation had been finished therfore since you have not messaged him to say "excuse me" why would he check further that conversation thread.

I know some men are pervs but I also understand people make mistakes and go in by the evidence you have provided I give the benefit of the doubt that this was a mistake. You know this man and how he communicates with you. We can only speculate. Demonising him as a sexual predator with this evidence is a bit harsh imo unless there is further information.

What a horrible thing to happen. I so understand how sick this is making you feel.

I think that I would reply:

'I assume that your previous text was intended for someone else? Nonetheless it is entirely inappropriate and unless I receive an apology before my next scheduled clean and your assurance that you will not be at home when I clean, I will not be cleaning for you in future.

Regards,'

As your original communication was with their partner, I think I would forward it to them also along with the original, for their information. Maybe even ask that all future communication is handled by them.

Hopefully, you will recieve a full apology, keep your job and never have to see them or recieve a text from them again.

Wishing you all the best OP.

Did you go right to the bottom of the message? I missed it at first

I don't think it is a mistake. He saw you are engaging in a small social chit chat and went along then decided to escalate. But even the message before, who cares about his route and the cafe etc. He clearly decided to try and push deeper with you. I would stop cleaning for him and tell him I feel uncomfortable continuing working and I will return the key through the door. Done. I wouldn't tell his partner, why involve? None of your business. He is not a friend.

They wouldn't necessarily. But you said "you don't get to 70 without learning that lesson" as though 70 year olds should be more up to speed than anyone else. Hence my reply.

Screenshot it back to him and tell him you can't be putting up with this. If you'd don't hear back, you know it was intentional. Then tell his partner why you won't be cleaning for him again.

If it was sent in error, I'd still be uncomfortable and still tell his partner.

I don't think he meant to send it to his partner instead of OP, if he did that's really horrible!
He sounds pretty switched on if he's still riding and messaging in his 70s. That isn't ancient and doddery in most cases now.
You need to ask him, even send just a question mark, his response will tell you his intentions hopefully

Yes, I agree.

If he hasn't responded by this time tomorrow, I think you'll know it wasn't an innocent (probably not the right word) mistake and must have been deliberate.

Yes, by tomorrow I suppose it's still remotely possible it could have been a genuine error and he's just too embarrassed to contact you. But as a lone woman going into his property alone, you are vulnerable and I wouldn't be going back without an apology and explanation.

if you still don't feel satisfied by his explanation and suspect it was deliberate, don't go. I'm self employed and get what a pain it can be to lose clients, but better safe than sorry.

I don't understand why you still haven't clarified if it was intended for you. You can't know what you're going to do until you know.

There's a good chance it was accidental and he just hasn't realised if he hasn't gone back into your text exchange

I can't see past the message about his route and a cafe. I can tell there something next but can't see it for some reason.

I would assume this. I'd text back and say 'are you sure this was for me'. He'd probably be very embarrassed. I think the OP is so creeped out by it, though, I doubt if she'll go back.

It was meant for you. It was a Pervy pushing boundaries text that he could claim ‘was meant for someone else’

I’d not go back and I would send to his partner.

pervy men gotta perve

I agree. Wasn’t for the OP - he was probably messaging two ppl at same time and got the recipients mixed up

The horny comment is written in a completely different style. Someone of that generation and education would never start a sentence without a capital letter nor, i suspect, use the word horny. It seems really odd.

This