To make my 6 year old buy his own water bottle?

[throweay]

He is 7 in October, mature for his age.

He has lost seven (!) school jumpers this academic year. His name is in all of them, but they just go missing. Never in the lost property. He will just leave things on the floor, on benches etc.

Same with water bottles, with it being hot he obviously needs one in school every day. He has lost three since Monday last week.

Last week I bought him a new school jumper (was the only one we had, as the rest are all lost) and a water bottle. Surprise surprise, he has lost them.

I have very gently explained the importance of looking after our things, and how such things cost money. Tried to come up with strategies on how he can better look after things.

I ask him to look for them when he’s next in school, he never does.

Would I BU to get him to pay for a new water bottle with his pocket money? He gets a £1 a week and only has £7 in his account.

I feel it may be harsh, but I have tried every other way!

That’s just as costly

Don’t be silly. That would be absurd and won’t teach any lesson at all.

in any case He is neurodivergent. Classic signs.
and he is only 6.
buy him huge orange bottles and label the F out of them. They always reappear.

also tell school. He is on their site. They are responsible for him. And his belongings. You need to complain and you need to speak to the SENco asap. There will also be other signs.

and always name everything. Multiple labels.

you will also have to go into school yourself and check the lost property.

kids cannot “see” and staff don’t have time

oh and at this time of year do not send him in with a jumper. He won’t need it. He will need a hat tho. Buy lots of cheap ones on line. And name them clearly. Inside and out.

and do not shame him about this. It will only make it worse.

best of luck (mother of ND kids in a ND household where 💩 goes missing all the time!!)

He's six he has a child brain which is still developing and is very different to an adult brain. You are being very unreasonable. The idea about a load of mineral water bottles and when they are lost they are lost sounds very sensible, maybe get him a new one in September and try again. Probably wont need a school jumper until September either.

Not if you refill for a few days if he remembers to bring it home.

Tape his name and class in huge letters and gaffer tape onto the side of the next one.
Also speak to the teacher, our school is quite good at gojng on a hunt for things if they are lost a lot.
Otherwise just buy the cheapest waters from lidl and reuse each one until it gets lost. Yoh might get a few weeks out of a pack if hes losing that easily.

Btw. He is not mature for his age if he is losing that many items.

look carefully at the child before you and parent that one. Not the one you think he is.

this one loses 💩 all the time. Act accordingly.

What’s with the ‘mature for his age’ got to do with it?
it’s unusual for a 6 year old to lose this much stuff.

Could he have Dyspraxia? Sounds like my children. Very poor organisational skills

No I wouldn't do that. But really the school should take some responsibility. Where are these things. They must be somewhere.

sounds exactly like my DB*2, and the eldest is still like this aged 12!

until he learns to not loose bottles it will be just as costly

Try explaining a little more forcefully and a bit less gently.

I'd make him buy it because it will make him think twice but I'd also support him and teach him the "1,2,3 check" no sure if this is an actual thing but its what my mum taught me

So when you leave the house / school you check
"Do i have

1. My bag
2. My water
3. My jumper?"

Then that's your number.
Throughout the day you check do I have 1234... oh no where is my hat (or whatever) I left it on a bench, lets go back...

I am mega scatty and this helps a lot.

My 3 yr old is into it too and helps she's often like "mummy, you didnt say your keys!" because I was about to forget them... again!
And i hear ger counting her things when we are out "I'm just doing my checks!"

I’d be more concerned about why so many named items are disappearing into thin air. Unless your son is losing them off school premises or the name labels are falling off, the only explanation is that someone is knowingly stealing them for their own.

This sounds daft, but does he actually understand that he needs to bring these things home every day?

Do you pick up /drop of at school regularly? If so as well as a name label put initials inside the jumper with a sharpy ideally not in the most obvious place that people would check for a name (labels can be cut off) and pop a cross stitch in a bright contrast colour on the cuff/ hem. You will be able to spot a child wearing it and ask to check if it your DSs and the sharpy initials will confirm it. If you have publically caught a CF parent/child with your named identifiable jumper they probably wouldn't target your DS again.

Yah by all means punish him for his working memory / processing difficulties…

I'd also suggest dyspraxia as a possible. It's not just about physical issues (was often called clumsy child) but also organisational skills.
If there is an issue then it is unfair to punish him, regardless how infuriating it is (I've been there).
You've not said about who picks him ip. If it is yourself take him back into school, speak to the teacher and ask if you can have a look round, check the lost property and coat areas.
As an ex early years /infant teacher I would put some class things in place. I've had special mats on tables/my desk for particular children to put their water bottles and a special place for their jumpers.

As pp have said some parents will keep jumpers /coats that their kids bring home esp the nice logo'ed ones. A tip for labelling coats is to write their name in down the arm. Most 'dishonest' people would check the collar/labels and cut out labels to pretend its their kids coat. Most wont check by turning the sleeve inside out.

I want to know what you have done . My Ds has adhd so always losing stuff but I would go back into school with him to look .

I would also be asking the teacher .

if my Ds lost a jumper I sent him in without one - easy at this time of the year .. it focused his mind more .

My DS was like this. turns out he has ADHD

heres some tips to help your son although some he’s too young for

• Establishing designated spaces:Having a specific place for items like keys, wallets, and phones can help ensure they are returned to their designated location.
• Using visual cues: Bright colors or unique features on items can help them stand out and be easier to spot.
• Creating checklists and reminders: Lists can help ensure you don't forget items before leaving the house or office.
• Using technology: Trackers and apps can help locate misplaced items, especially when combined with the use of visual cues.
• Mindfulness and awareness:Being more mindful when placing items down can help create a memory trace.

This was what I was thinking. I can understand misplacing one item but this amount of lost property would be picked up by the school, surely? All primary schools I know of have regular clear outs of lost property and notify parents to come and look through.

With children that age any consequences or management needs to be immediate. I don't think he will fully get the concept at that age its too abstract to him to understand. You'd be better getting a 12 pack of water and send him in with those. As for jumpers I used to send my son back in as he came out the door to go and collect and find everything he went in with.

Where exactly does OP state her child is ND?? 🧐 🧐
Clearly you’re armchair diagnosing - please stop, it’s ridiculous.

I find it difficult to believe that 7 jumpers all with his name in have gone missing and not one of them have turned up in lost property! Where do they go?

This is my son (8) and it is so frustrating, you have my sympathies. He’s waiting for an ADHD diagnosis but he 💯 has it (he’s 10x more ADHD than his sister who has a diagnosis!)

I just bought a crate of plastic water from Lidl for £1.75. School will moan but he’s lost 2 Airups this half term as well as my water bottle! Don’t get me started on the school PE tops that cost EIGHTY pounds.